So we’re outside of The Bottom of The Hill with Love me Destroyer, or ¾ there of, right? Scooter: Yes, exactly. One guy has to take care of business.

So why don’t we go around, say you’re name and what you do in the band. Scooter: Who’s got mic one?
Ryan: Does that matter?
Cody: Alright, my name’s Cody, I play drums.
Ryan: Ryan Welter, lead guitar.
Scooter: Scooter James, superstar.
Ryan: Jesus Christ.
Scooter: I play the key-tar and the mandolin. Naw, I play guitar and sing. I’m a liar too.
Cody: He’s the front man. He’s the front guy, first and foremost.
Scooter: Yeah, you got to put the biggest dude up front. Because if a riot breaks out, I’ll be the one to protect these dudes from sheer disaster. Bet a lot of those happen at your shows. Scooter: Oh, fuck yeah. All the time. Mostly because the Zima runs out. Once the Zima runs out the crowd gets tough.
Cody: The problem is only half of the band really drinks. So all the drink tickets get split up between two people.
Scooter: Which is nice though because it tiers down.
Ryan: Come see us when we’re opening a show. If we’re headlining and me and Scooter the lions share of the drink tickets, it’s gonna be sloppy slop slop.
Scooter: But see it’s like evolution. You got Taylor, who like straight edge who’s never done anything in his life. Then you got Cody who gets loose every once in a while, he’ll throw down. But then Ryan and I are just… Yeah, there’s Ryan and the only reason Ryan’s not up to my level is I’m still 10 years older than him.
Ryan: Barely. I’m catchin’ up.
Scooter: Barely, 10 years older. So, basically I’m going to die…
Ryan: And he’s going to get buried under the pool table at the Triple Rock.
Scooter: Oh yeah, I set that up on this tour too. I was telling Billy, I think I set it up. I don’t know. (laughs)
Cody: Yeah, you don’t fucking remember.
Scooter: I have a standing thing with the Triple Rock where I get carried out every time I’m in there.
Ryan: I think we’re going to shoot your remains out of a cannon during "It’s Raining Men". (laughs)
Scooter: At the Triple Rock, over the pool table.
Cody: While Taylor’s singing karaoke.
Ryan: And I’m eating a poor boy and a Jack and Jolt.
Scooter: But see, it’s cool because I told Ryan when he joined the band, "It’ll be cool because I’m gonna die soon and then you can be like to good looking widow. You’ll find a new band", ya know? So it’ll be all good.

So when this band tragically disbands when you die… Scooter: It’s not gonna tragically disband.
Cody: Are you kidding? He’s the only original member.
Scooter: Taylor will get someone else and play a show a week later, just like the last time.
Cody: Fuck it, we’ll call him Scooter.
Ryan: This band has been through 54? 53 guys?
Scooter: Half our band, including one very founding member quit and we played a show with this man (Ryan) like a week and a half later.
Ryan: Thanks for calling me a man, dude.
Scooter: He is a man. He’s a manther.
Cody: Thanks for calling him out on being a man. (laughs)
Scooter: Sorry for calling you out on being a man.
Ryan: I’m trying to be the feminine best friend with all the ladies on the podcast. I like to watch Dawson’s Creek and fucking fuck.
Sound Guy Nariman: There’s only been two.
Scooter: You can let loose there’s only been two ladies on the podcast.

And neither one of them hit on us so they were gay, probably. Sound Guy Nariman: Yeah, if they didn’t want this. (laughs).

So let’s talk about music, I guess. Cody: What the fuck is music? (laughs)
Ryan: I don’t even listen to music dude.
Scooter: C’mon, does a plumber want to fix his john when he gets off work? I don’t think so. (laughs)
Ryan: Is that a sexual innuendo?
Scooter: Maybe. Maybe it is.

It’s like we’re finally starting to develop something that’s ours. So, it’s like I feel like having that many member changes wasn’t a big problem

You mention you’ve had a lot of line up changes, you’re (Scooter) the only one from the original, correct? Scooter: Yeah but it doesn’t matter because it’s like a whole new band. My whole thing with it was, I got a lot of shit for doing what I did. But, the thing is, the band never had a chance to establish itself and make a sound and do anything. So it didn’t really matter…Well, it did matter. Like I didn’t want any of the people to quit, obviously. Anytime someone quits you need to get new people, it changes the whole dynamic of the band. But it’s like this new record is a good start to where we could be. It’s like we’re finally starting to develop something that’s ours. So, it’s like I feel like having that many member changes wasn’t a big problem.
Cody: Stirred up a lot of haters in the Denver scene.
Scooter: Oh yeah.
Cody: Once we were like, "Yeah we got a full length album and we’re going to be out on the road for months at a time. Well, take it easy". Then everyone that was hating was like (high voice), "I heard the album, it kicks ass. You guys are doing good. Hi-five it! Up high, down low. Too Slow!"
Scooter: You’d be amazed how many people in Denver don’t understand the word "perseverance".
Cody: I have a tat that says "perseverance".
Ryan: But tattoos are easy, being tough’s what’s hard. (laughs) Copyright.
Cody: Ryan Welter dot com.

I heard for the CD release you were talking about doing a Guitar Hero II tournament. Scooter: We tried. We just got lazy.
Cody: Speaking of perseverance. It was just a fucking unbelievable forethought and it’s kind of developed into a Monday night thing at one of our buddies bars in town. The Red Rocks Grill in Denver does do Guitar Hero II Tournaments every Monday night but the problem is Scooter and I also DJ at another bar in Denver on Monday nights. So fuck the Guitar Hero tournament.
Scooter: But we’re still planning on doing it. The whole point of it was Cody used to work for a production company, so our whole deal was we were going to do this big thing at the merch table and have the showdown. The final battle was going to be on stage with the projection screen and this big thing right before we played and it’s still… Actually, why am I telling people this?! Someone’s gonna steal our fucking idea.
Cody: You know what? You didn’t hear anything.
Scooter: That’s it god damn it. Like Sick of it All is gonna steal our fucking idea.
Cody: Sick of it All Guitar Hero II Tournament…Great.
Scooter: It started out as a great idea. The funny thing is I’ve seen ads in strip bars…I can’t remember where we were. Last night, Portland! There was this add for a strip bar that has a Guitar Hero night. At a fucking strip bar. If you’re that fucking stupid that you’re looking at Guitar Hero while you got titties hanging out, you got problems. We were also going to do palm reading and a kissing booth and all kinds of stuff.
Cody: And a glory hole. (laughs)
Scooter: That was on the down low. That was only in the green room, you weren’t supposed to…
Ryan: That was called the LMG, Love Me Gloryhole.

What’s great about user reviews [is] when a douche bag talks about himself in his review more than the album you know he probably didn’t listen to the fucking album.

On your myspace you had mentioned something regarding the "long arm of the law" having to release your balls before you could release the new album. Something like that. Cody: Well, there’s a few people…Well, there’s a lot of things in litigation. What I alluding to is that we had a few SNFU’s and we’re still kind of doing things DIY so we’re in the realm of using public defenders for the most part. And D.A.’s and public defenders they’re not all, in bed together as they should to get us on the road in time. There was actually a good three day stretch where poor Taylor was waiting for a public defender to set him free and the three of us sat in my living room waiting for the call, with the van loaded up. We were just canceling shows every day when we woke up and figured out that he wasn’t going to make it to get in the van. So, that set us back about a week but Scooter’s doing really well now…
Scooter: Yeah, I’m finally off probation, I was part of the problem too.

The new album was streamed on AP.net, right? Cody: Uh…Yeah.

Do you know about that? Scooter: I think Taylor was the only one who was made aware.
Ryan: He’s unavailable for comment at the time.
Cody: Actually, that was a really awesome promotion that they helped us do for the first little bit that the record was out. We got a lot more people to listen to it. We got some really fantastic hate mail out of that. Unfortunately, to go along with that stream the first review that we got on AP.net was a user review that just tore us to fucking shreds. But what’s great about user reviews, especially ones like that, when a douche bag talks about himself in his review more than the album, you know he probably didn’t listen to the fucking album.
Scooter: Credible, very credible.
Cody: No, that did wonders for us. I really appreciate that.
Scooter: Naw, the best review was from Vice magazine.

Really? Cody: It said we sounded like…
Scooter: It had a whole paragraph and it said nothing about what we sounded like until the last sentence and it said we sounded like Hot Water Music mixed with shoving a suburban strip mall up your ass. (laughs) I don’t even know what that means. In some circles that might mean good things.
Cody: I think that was supposed to be negative but that’s a point of pride. Because we do spend a lot of time in suburbia.
Scooter: And obviously we pissed the guy off enough to say, shove a strip mall up our ass.

But Vice that’s like one of the pitchfork ones, they’re just so full of themselves. Ryan: It’s one of those ones where a bad review means you’re good.
Scooter: It’s like, "Oh, these guys got a bad review, they don’t sound like Interpol. Weird."
Ryan: Who the fuck’s Interpol?
Scooter: Not that I know who Interpol is. I did date a girl who was in to indie rock. Is that indie rock? I don’t even know. What the fuck is indie rock?
Cody: You dated a girl? (laughs)
Scooter: I dated a girl, that is weird.
Ryan: (imitating Scooter) Thanks for calling me out on that.
Scooter: Thanks for calling me out.

So the one thing that stands out the most on the album is the song, "You’ll never Take me Alive" Scooter: (laughs)Yeah, we got slammed about that one too.

You have to get a thousand questions about that song because you listen to the entire album and then the last song comes on and it’s so entirely different than every other song on the album. Scooter: Hindsight’s 20/20. I love power ballads. I love fucking Journey…Well I don’t love fucking Journey, I love listening to Journey. I fuck to Journey. Skid Row, all that stuff. I’m all about it. I was trying to write a power ballad for years and it just kind of happened the day before we went into the studio. We thought it’d be cool and hindsight come to think it’s probably not that cool, because you’re right, it’s like out of nowhere. People think it’s real tongue in cheek, which it is to an extent, on the other extent I was stoked to write this song. It was from the heart man.
Ryan: You know how you listen to Dark Side of the Moon and watch The Wizard of Oz it all syncs up? If you drink like a 30 pack of Keystone you get to the last song, it syncs right up. Because that’s about the time you’re drunk dialing. And uh..crying. (laughs)
Cody: Well you have to take into account that Scooter, could be my dad. (laughs)
Scooter: Thanks for calling me out on that.
Cody: Well no, I’m just saying it could really be possible. We haven’t really looked into it because it’s kind of creepy but…
Scooter: His mom and I go way back.
Ryan: They’re like this. (Crosses fingers)
Scooter: His mom calls me out even. It’s funny, this guy calls me out, his mom calls me out, actually.
Cody: All the band moms love the ballad and are like, "You guys should write more songs like that". Yeah, no.
Scooter: We had a night where we were supposed to go to Grand Junction and play a show and the pass got closed for two days so we didn’t make it, right before our release show. So, we went out and got drunk and I did some question and answer thing for the local paper. I made some comment about how, "we drink every night like most people drink on New Years" but I decided to start drinking a bottle of Vodka that morning. We show up at Cody’s house and his mom is rocking out. She was partying with her sister.
Ryan: She was hammered.
Scooter: And so she calls me out. She’s like, "Yeah, way to live up to your reputation dude". (laughs) Why you gotta call me out on that. I get called out by everyone, even Cody’s mom.
Cody: She loves you though. Even though you’ve led me so tragically astray.
Scooter: We led him down a dark path.
Ryan: Cut you from the flock. You fucking sheep. Sheep! BWAH!
Cody: Drummers are queers.
Ryan: Fucking queers.
Cody: Drummers, chasing a kitten up a tree.
Ryan: It’s like a guitar player getting pussy for the first time in the history of getting pussy.
Scooter: We’ve just been watching The Departed like every day.
Sound Guy Nariman: I haven’t seen that yet.
Scooter: You got to go watch it. This will be a lot funnier once you see it.

I have heard how [The Departed] ends. Cody: It’s ruined.
Scooter: Talk about ruined.
Sound Guy Nariman: Don’t say anything.
Ryan: It’s like a threesome with two black chicks. (laughs)

That’s not how The Departed ends. Scooter: That’s how it ends for this guy. (laughs) He’s got his own things going on.
Ryan: (in a Boston accent) You talking about The Departed or that dirty video I barrowed from ya? I can’t remember they’re both very good.
Cody: Love me Destroy: Like a threesome with two black chicks.

That’s what Scorsese got his first Oscar, was the threesome with black chicks. That’s what got the Academy going, "That, that is Oscar worthy material right there". Cody: This guy’s going places.
Scooter: This guys good.
Ryan: Is this where you put on the theme music because we’re taking too long? What are we on like question number three?
Scooter: Wrap it up B. Wrap that shit up.

So I have to ask you won the 2005 Westword magazine "best punk band in Denver", right. Ryan: cakewalk.
Scooter: You know why? Because 10 years earlier to the date, my old band won it. So we had this big joke with us about, "Take back the plaque", because a very important founding member quit and we decided we were going to take back the plaque just to spite him. But this time we got a fucking statue. It’s a little paperweight of a fucking guitar, it’s kinda crappy.
Ryan: Didn’t he break it?
Cody: And a bike.
Scooter: We got a bike too. It looks like Pee-Wee Herman’s bike. But that was our whole motto, "Take back the plaque" and sure enough, bam! 10 years.

And a bike. Cody: It wasn’t a tandem bike though.

Why would you give a band of four guys one bike and then be like, "have fun". Ryan: A bicycle built for one.
Cody: You know why? Because if you gave us a bicycle built for four we’d probably be dead. (laughs)
Ryan: You know how to write a suicide note? "Went for a tandem bike ride, honey. I’ll be back". (laughs)
Scooter: You might as well break up a shark fight with a shrimp suit. Because you got better odds than on a tandem bike.

Sounds like something my grandfather would say. Scooter: Is that an old shot pal?!
Cody: Thanks for calling him out on being old.
Ryan: Well you are wearing assless chaps and a fucking…
Cody: Journey t-shirt.
Scooter: Yeah, I am. (laughs)
Ryan: And roller-skates. Last question. On your album there’s a phone call that leads into the song "Color of the Grave" and I have to ask if that’s a real phone call. And if that is, give me some back-story to that. Scooter: Cody that’s all you.
Cody: You want, I can give you the whole story really quick. There’s a really good friend of mine that I was working with, no names here, that was a coworker. A few Halloweens ago, coworker and I got down with another friend of mine. We gave her the ol’ airtight rotisserie, then shit got weird, alright? Then shortly after that the girl that things had gotten weird with started dating another girl and I liked other girl. Other girl decided she liked me, so then I started dating other girl. In the process of all of that, there was another ex-girlfriend who was trying to get stuff sparked back up, who I was genuinely interested in starting things back up with but you know cards kinda fell how they did. I was like, "I’m gonna go for this new lesbian that I stole from somebody else". Then on our last Midwest tour, cool lesbian girl replaced me while we were gone, go figure. So when I got home, I called my other ex-girlfriend who wanted to rekindle things and she really wanted to let me have it for ditching her for lesbian number 1, 2 or 3, I don’t remember, whatever. I was like, "hey I’m really sorry, just let me have it. Just let me have it. What is on your mind?" and I pressed record and that is, "That fucking bitch would rather eat pussy than fuck you. How’s that make you feel?" It went on and on. We actually faded that shit out but it went on and on. She got all done and I was like, "You know, I love you". We're actually pretty cool now.
Ryan: You know it’s funny because it starts out with Cody’s heartache. Then the majority of the lyrics are about Scooter’s heartache about another chick. Then I got another little verse about some heartache with another chick. So it’s kinda like a little three way song.
Scooter: Gang bang of heartache. (laughs)
Cody: That song is a gang bang of heart ache in drop tuning.
Scooter: Just to redeem myself, I kissed a girl last night.
Cody: You also kissed a dude two nights ago, who cares?