Split Fifty sign to Eulogy

Contributed by Lincoln. Posted by adam on Monday, October 6, 2008 at 10:00 AM (EDT)

Tannersville, Pennsylvania's Split Fifty has signed to Eulogy Recordings. The band commented:

We had gotten an offer from Eulogy over a year ago but because of situations we were unable to accept the offer. The great news is after a six month vacation, some old contracts running out and John at Eulogy being a stand up business man, we made the choice. The new record, which is still untitled, will be a revisit to Split Fifty's older heavier style while trying to keep with the pop/punk feel of our last record. Basically we want to kick your ass and make you feel pretty at the same time.

This fall the band will tour with the Ataris and later with Patent Pending.

Bands in this story

The Ataris

Patent Pending

Eulogy Recordings (29 comments)

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

24HourPriapism (October 6, 2008)

what the fuck is this bullshit.

HeyBarmold (October 6, 2008)

So nice to have some news stories to fullfill my life once again.

Holy_Balls (October 6, 2008)

"Basically we want to kick your ass and make you feel pretty at the same time."

So they want to treat everyone like cell mates?

xshigox (October 6, 2008)

this is not punk rock, they are a bunch of cock swindlers that cornhole one another. please leave PA

LookingForCorpses (October 6, 2008)

Old news.

biggest_dick_in_the_south (October 6, 2008)

I live near these guys and they are not good. At all. They actually suck the dick of a thousand men.

edgelife (October 6, 2008)

hahaha

sugarfull (October 6, 2008)

Except that being able to satisfy one thousand penises with one's mouth would be the result of much hard work and talent. Say what you will about cock sucking, but to blow 1000 in a row is a lot more impressive than these guys could ever hope to be.

biggest_dick_in_the_south (October 6, 2008)

hahahaha. that was very in depth

MattRamone (October 6, 2008)

No care ever.

martinNZ09 (October 6, 2008)

Terrible terrible stuff

BigP (October 6, 2008)

No thanks.

ReasonToOffYourself (October 6, 2008)

'This fall the band will tour with the Ataris and later with Patent Pending.'

this band will tour?

Masquerade (October 6, 2008)

Yes the band will tour like they always have, jealousy is a foul cologne. Its nice to see the local boys from ex members of the band and their closest friends weigh in on the band. Allow me speaking for the band be the first to say, no one from split fifty cares about this site, Split Fifty is not a punk band you all know that, they don't belong here on punk news right? The band is exactly what you say they are, faggots, dick slayers, terrible and no one cares about them, which is exactly why you have taken the time to leave comments, get angry and spend your day talking about them. Obviously you guys have the lock on this music shit, that is clearly why all of your projects are signed, touring and have left the Stroudsburg area for bigger and better things. Now do what you do best be jealous, talk shit call eveyone faggots, its all good, the band will still pack clubs and sell records, you will still be exactly where you are... Nowhere.

xshigox (October 6, 2008)

hahahah whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep fine at night buddy boy pussy lips ok but you forgot how they are still going to be pedifils above all.
the only thing that makes me angry is how this band is ripping everyone who really cares off.
i'll sleep fine tonight knowing this band is a bunch of douche bags

vocalyouth (October 6, 2008)

u mad

biggest_dick_in_the_south (October 6, 2008)

hahahaha! you have to be kidding.
the only thing good about that band is Dan Malsch. he can make anyone sound good.

Crashtester (October 6, 2008)

Don't tell Set Your Goals about the stand up ethics of Eulogy.

zach_post (October 7, 2008)

eulogy... shame shame... it's all down hill from here. once good, not sucks donkey dick. this band sucks so bad, therefore eulogy is now my victory records. when years spent cold and mongoloids leave this label, i will wash my hands clean.

withheld (October 7, 2008)

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. these guys are old

everyone from their hometown hates them because they use and manipulate small bands to get dat ca$h munny for their corporate endevours so yeah... blah blah blah blah no one cares about this anyway.

listen to some real music, no one wants to here any more of this shit as of 2003-5. morons.

Masquerade (October 7, 2008)

Yes so very true, so here is a video from September 20th 2008 ( a few weeks ago) taken from Split Fifty's headlining show in their hometown. Pay careful attention to the roughly 600 people clearly hating the band. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBVjKZPB8Xk The ambitions of the members of this band and their success can only be attributed to hard work and dedication. Again Jealousy is a foul cologne. Read My next comment below, its even better!

biggest_dick_in_the_south (October 8, 2008)

20 - 12 year old girls in the front row dont count

carjammer (October 7, 2008)

this band askes for a crazy amount of money to play local shows. Fuck them. They are BIG ROCK STARS

Masquerade (October 7, 2008)

As stated in my above post here is a video from a few weeks ago at Split Fifties home town show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBVjKZPB8Xk The funny part is, this guys band Captain Were Sinking was playing another venue about 5 miles away. They enjoyed a wonderful turn out of about 55 people while the Split Fifty show was attended by around 600. Even Funnier is that a member of Captain were sinking asked Split Fifty to play a show with them just a few weeks ago for new years eve. If I can get the message out of the split fifty myspace Ill post in up here. You guys are so great!

xshigox (October 8, 2008)

banging little girls is profitable I suppose must be making a killing, speaking of,how much money are they paying you to suck their dicks.

and p.s. your cologne line is old stop spraying the stetson

tankstankstanks (October 8, 2008)

i'm not really taking sides here, but since when did the amount of people in attendance at a show determine the 'success' of it?

i was at the captain we're sinking show and i had a great time, as i'm sure everyone else did. on the other hand, i'm sure everyone at the sherman show had fun too. isn't that what matters?

LetsGoRangers (October 8, 2008)

Why won't this band just go away. Seriously does anyone listen to garbage music like this anymore. This band can eat a bag of dicks.

passedoutonthefloor (October 11, 2008)

September 20th was such a hard day for everyone in these stressful times I was drawn between the promise of seeing a amazing rock n roll show with local "rock n roll stars" SPLIT FIFTY and the promise of having fun with a bunch of fucks and seeing Captain We're Sinking........ Needless to say the choice was obvious. Zach Fifty told us in person that he knows all his fans don't really care but he wants to make money and thats what people want to hear.......... but you know what the 80 people who came to witness the real shit that night with bands like Captain We're Sinking, Get Stoked, The Greek Favourites, Jerk Reaction, No Salvation, Steps Toward The City, and Mouthin Off for $5 at the door as opposed to $10 had a great time and spent their night dancing their feet off with some fucks who really do care and really love this local scene. The bands got paid, the people had a great time and everyone showed us that they care and will continue to support the real underground. Every member of the above stated bands was more than pleased with the turnout to out intimate floor show and none of them wish it had been any different. If you are telling people they waste their time talking shit on the internet get off your ass and stop typing replies all day I"ll talk trash to your face cause around here we're fucking running it. FUCK SPLIT FIFTY and their $3500 guarantee they can eat a bag of dicks.

LetsGoRangers (October 11, 2008)

word is bond on the shout out.

if you want to hear real good local music check out all of the bands

except steps towards the city...just playing they are our boys as well