We’re here! Currently hurtling down the highway towards our show in Derby tonight, thanks to Ed, our driver (and tour manager and minder, pretty much, but we’re only really paying him to drive so let’s keep that part a secret), who rousted us bright and early and stuffed us in the van…but let’s begin at the beginning, shall we?

Flight was pretty uneventful; my seatmate was an American living in York who gave me a couple of tips about hanging out in the UK, the extent of which was don’t tip anyone…fair enough, cos everything is wicked fucking expensive here anyway…we arrived at Heathrow around 9pm local time, and arrived in England around midnight, thanks to the three hour wait in the immigration line due to the border guards being on strike…now, I’m all for the right to earn a decent wage, but it’s not like they’re breaking rocks with a hammer all day, is it? No, they sit there and stamp things…I mean really…but anyway…customs was a breeze, and Ed met us at the baggage claim…Jameson was reunited with his lady love, who’s currently studying in London, and the two of them set off for a lovely little tryst in what turned out to be a bug-infested hostel…the rest of us piled in the van and set out to find lodging for the night…an hour later, after checking three different Travelodges and calling ten more, we said fuck it and crashed in the van in a parking lot…I slept under a table and woke up shaped like a question mark…welcome to the UK.

We woke up and drove to Camden (well, Ed drove, thank god, cos we would have def killed someone by now; this other side of the road thing is terrifying…the rest of us watched Dumb and Dumber in the back) where we met up with Jameson and wandered around Camden Market getting bullied by the Chinese food vendors ("No! You buy this now!) and perusing all the tourist crap they were selling…hit the original Dr. Martens shop and managed to get out of there without spending the equivalent of $300 american on shoes, despite the hard sell by the staff ("Pistols, Clash, yeah they all bought theirs here."), walked around, bought some shitty expensive coffees, and headed to the gig.

Our first European show! Played at this spot called The Gaff, in London, with this rad German ska-punk band called Braindead, and Billy No Mates, which is Duncan from Snuff and one of the dudes from Consumed and some other nice blokes (that’s british for "dudes")…all the bands were awesome, and the crowd was into us, only a few people "dancing", but a bunch of folks watched us play and told us afterwards that they were really into it, so, yeah, popped our euro cherry, spot on…pillaged the "dressing room" (manky basement that smelled like a toilet) on the way out and made off with a bunch of food and booze, then headed to Ed’s friend Ollie’s house, where we hung out trading youtube vids for a few hours before crashing out on his bedroom floor…I slept under the desk, infinitely more comfortable than sleeping under the table in the van…woke up bright and early (noon), had a shower (yes!), and Ollie made us breakfast, of eggs and mushrooms and beans and veggie sausage, as well as marmite on toast, which, it turns out, is not nearly as nasty as I had thought…so that’s pretty much it so far…headed to Derby right now, wherever the hell that is, for the show tonight…ok, more later, cheers! (which I was saying way before we ever got to the UK, so all you wankers, sod off!)

Aaand we’re back…

Darby was cool, played with some really good bands, especially Random Hand, if you don’t know ‘em, check ‘em out…it’s pretty cool to be playing in a place (the UK) where ska is so welcome, and prevalent, in the music scene…met some cool people, rocked the fuck out, ate some chicken, and fucked off on yet another epic adventure to find a Travelodge…successful this time, Ed wrangled us a good deal, Matt Steve and Ed got wasted on cheap Belgian beer next door, and Jams and I passed out…

Woke up, had a shower, back in the van, off to Glasgow!…super stoked to see Scotland, the drive up was beautiful…huge rolling green hills littered with sheep and these crazy yak looking highland cows…we were all very much looking forward to golfing past castles while eating haggis and drinking scotch after the gig…none of those things ended up happening though…the show was in the teeny tiny basement of a pub, which was cool cos with thirty people in there the place was packed…Glasgow on a Saturday night was a total shitshow; saw a dude walk outside, casually projectile vomit all over the street, and then head back inside to continue drinking, all before nine o’clock…hilarious…we played a good set, and as soon as we were done some guy picks up his bagpipes and starts wailing away…everyone got well pissed, and we headed back to the promoter’s house to crash…watched some Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was mildly entertaining, and then an amazing streetfight right outside the window with five girls and one sorry dude, which was supremely entertaining…these bitches was FIERCE…boots to the face, the whole nine…meanwhile this poor guy was trying to break it up and getting fucked up for his efforts…hate to say it, but I’d bet on Glasgow ghetto girls over Southie’s best any day…after a couple rounds the combatants went their separate ways, talking shit over their shoulders as they walked off into the night, and we ate some Pot Noodle (aka ramen) and fell asleep…Glasgow rules…ok, that’ll do for now, cheers!

Xoxo, Jon/Have Nots