Aaand, we’re back…where were we? Right, Glasgow. After leaving Scotland (without getting any haggis, damn) we headed d own to Newcastle where Ed’s friends the Dixons were kind enough to be our base of operations for the next couple days of shows in the area. They were amazing, and we can’t thank them enough for their hospitality. Ged, the dad, had to work when we were playing in Newcastle on Tuesday, so he threw on his Swellers tshirt and hopped in the van to come with us to the Manchester show. He was so excited that he pretty much insisted on loading in all the gear himself, 54 and hauli ng amps up the stairs like he was born to do it. The show itself was nothing to write home about, the first band, The B itter End, was pretty good, and we all successfully deflected the affections of the local talent after we played our set (Ged, well into his tenth pint, said "it looks like she got hit with an elevator!"). So that was Manchester. Back to HQ to watch movies til the wee hours.

Next up, Newcastle. We came, we saw, we ate some fish and chips, we rocked the fuck out, and left. Met some cool kids at the show, and Sheridan (Mama Dixon) and Amy (Baby Dixon) came out as well (any bands smart enough to book Ed the Duck to drive them around the UK will no doubt get the same royal treatment at the Dixon house…the only rule there is that y ou have to come back). Some of the kids we met at the show invited us out for a drink at some after hours type punk bar at the uni, so we cruised over and hung out for a few. Good to meet like minded people and get a chance to kick back a nd talk shop for a while. And again, back to HQ to watch movies til the wee hours, oi oi.

And then, after a tearful goodbye to the Dixons, on to Norwich (silent W), hometown of our very own Ed the Duck. Hit th e town early and tried to do some tourist shit, but the 11th century castle was closed, and none of the mustards in the Coleman’s Mustard Museum were as hot as the Tesco’s brand that we’ve been putting on everything since we got here (serio usly, everything…potato chips, fruit, I think Steve even had a mustard and nutella sandwich). Finally found some postca rds, which, according to Ed, our loved ones back home should be receiving about a week after we get back…thanks Royal Ma il. The run of nice weather ended rather abruptly, so we headed to the venue and huddled around the fireplace, where th ey were burning everything from furniture to drywall to plastic bags ("Oi, if it burns, we’ll burn it, mate!"). Played with a couple of really cool bands, Broken Window Effect, who did sort of an Against Me kinda thing, and Love Dump (me: "Love Dub?" singer: "nah mate, Love Dump, dump, like a crap."), who were very streetpunk meets Leftover Crackish. Cras hed at Ed’s old house and woke up waaaaaaaaaaay too early to go catch our ferry to Holland.

Up and out, let’s go boys, heading to the ferry. What the fuck time is it? Blaargh. Anyway, someone was dumb enough t o have two cups of coffee when we got to the boat (too excited about my duty-free tobacco purchase), and everyone else c rashed out in the cabins while I cruised around the boat. Super sunny day, not too cold, so I hung out on the deck and watched the ocean for a good while. I don’t think I’ve ever been so far out to sea that I couldn’t see land; it was bot h beautiful and a little terrifying. Ok, I’m sick of typing in the van, we’ll catch you up on the mainland Europe hijin ks in the next episode. Until then, stay tuned, true believers, for another exciting edition of…HAVE NOTS EPIC EUROPEAN TOUR UPDATES!

Cheers, Jon/Have Nots