The '89 Cubs There Are Giants In The Earth (2004) Slowdance

Let it be known that I was already perturbed when going into this review. The CD would not play in my computer. It simply just made my computer retarded and forget how to eject a CD. So after a few restarts (yeah, I'm lazy enough to keep trying it over and over again so I don't have to get up), I finally got my little boombox and dragged it into my room. Trust me. I haven't moved from this spot all morning, and I didn't want to. But The '89 Cubs made me. And Lord, do I resent them for that.

So then I put in the CD, and am I rewarded for my work? No! I'm left with uninteresting crap. I'd compare this album to the dribble of food coming out of a babies mouth when you feed them mashed peas. You don't really like looking at it, but you don't care enough to wipe it off until it's all over.

I guess this is supposed to be some sort of supergroup with people from Desaparecidos, Bright Eyes, and The Good Life. Wait a minute, I hate all those bands. No wonder this does nothing for me. But usually I like stuff from Slowdance. I think that Slowdance normally does a good job of signing good acts. Looks like those pug-loving bastards dropped the ball on this one.

I mean, it's not horrible. It's just boring. It goes nowhere. It's unobtrusive. It's safe. It doesn't cross boundaries. It's just what you'd expect from the side project of a sideproject of Cursive. I mean, it's Cursive twice removed. And you know how Cursive can be bland at times, I mean, sheesh, it's like eating saltine crackers topped off with a whole lotta nothing. The problem is, you can't pinpoint a problem. It's like, "This band would be good if they just...if they just...hunh." You can't think of a way to make them better, and that's a problem. In my mind, they're just stuck in mediocrity.

(Jesse)