The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza (2005) Corrosive

It’s a relatively little-known fact that “the boss” himself (no, not that boss) Tony Danza was a boxer. So it should come as little to no surprise that a band named after him is just as hard-hitting, if not more. This brings us to the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza, an intense and chaotic conglomeration of the finest qualities of metal, grind, and hardcore.

Pumping through the same innovative vein as Ed Gein, the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza provide the world with music of utmost intensity, while still managing to appeal to those whose interest extend way beyond the realm of tech-metal. With no warning, their self-titled album begins with the hard-hitting “My Bowling Ball’s Frozen in a Footlocker in Chicago” that won’t give you any time to stop and take a breather.

The album’s second track “I Bet Heaven Looks a Lot Like Talledega’s” 3 minute array of constant, unexpected time changes and schizophrenic guitars will leave the listener in awe and perhaps even surprise them with lyrics as simple as “Beautiful is not held, In no one else’s shadow, is where you walk.” Incorporating plain, elementary lyrics such as the aforementioned with an amazing, convulsive instrumental exhibition is surely a strong suit of the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza.

The Tony Danza Tap Dance experience surely doesn’t end within the first tracks of the album. “God Ain’t Got No Use for No 180 lb. Bag of Sugar” offers the listener an intense tech-metal breakdown which continues throughout a good portion of the song, while “5 Deep on Charlie” incorporates powerful blast-beats and a grind-like acceleration to the album. While each track on this self-titled release shreds more than all of the equipment Martha Stewart tried using to get rid of her special stock documents combined, each track offers a little taste of something different, such as “Cliff Burton’s Surprise’s” groove-inflicting introduction and “Big Pun’s Not Dead Because I Just Saw Him at Krispy Kreme’s” smart use of rap to begin the track.

Borrowing from bands in the likes of Ed Gein and the Dillinger Escape Plan to Ion Dissonance and Meshuggah, the Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza have been able to put out, hands-down, the most unique and spastic release of 2005.

(Meg)