Witches with Dicks Manual (2007) Kiss of Death

Odds are if you are reading this review you are not cool in the traditional sense of the word. You are/were probably not a star football player in high school. The “hot” girls at your school probably don’t/didn’t sit at your lunch table. You probably hate/hated your high school gym teacher. Exclaiming to your friends, “I had sex with (insert random girl's name here) last night,” is probably a phrase you have said less than twice in your life. You probably wear eccentric band shirts that cause people to give you dirty looks. Witches with Dicks are not a cool band, but that is what makes them so awesome.

Manual is a 20-minute album that evokes a person to jump around and yell fuck a lot through a punk-pop style that is very much Dillinger Four / Off with Their Heads / Broadways-influenced. The opener, “How to Cook 40 Humans” is about kids who never really find a passion in life and fuck up a lot. The lyric, “Are you one of those kids, who’d skate by, never had to apply their heart to something that wasn’t a sure thing,” says it all. The next song, “One Whopper for the Copper” is about police taking rights away from kids. The line, “Your uniform poisons your heart” is one the majority of the punk population should be able to get behind. My favorite song on the album is, “Fuck All Lindseys,” a song that I feel is about wanting to rebel but never really doing such.

In conclusion, Witches with Dicks do a breezy, fun punk rock affair with Manual that might be as cool as the right-side-up of the pillow, but is just as comfortable.

(NotPatriotic)