Kreayshawn

Kreayshawn: Somethin' 'Bout Kreay'Somethin' 'Bout Kreay' (2012)
Columbia Records

Reviewer Rating: 4.5

User Rating:

Contributed by: ThisRespiratorThisRespirator
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on September 28th 2012Being an Internet sensation can't be easy, but when you have swag pumping out of your ovaries, the world is yours. just ask Kreayshawn a.k.a. Baby Kreay a.k.a. the Queen Of Swag a.k.a. the Holy Swagmother. The amount of swag on display on Somethin' 'Bout Kreay' is fucking insane. If you don't like f.

Being an Internet sensation can't be easy, but when you have swag pumping out of your ovaries, the world is yours. just ask Kreayshawn a.k.a. Baby Kreay a.k.a. the Queen Of Swag a.k.a. the Holy Swagmother. The amount of swag on display on Somethin' 'Bout Kreay' is fucking insane. If you don't like fun, partying, blunts, 40s of Olde English or swag, then go listen to your Propagandhi albums because this is not for you.

From the second "Blase Blase" kicks off you are in a world of swag, blunts, 40s and oh, did I mention swag? Kreay's got the swaggiest beats, and the swaggiest rhymes. The song is far from being as swagtastic as The Holy Swagmothers first single, and YouTube giant "Gucci Gucci," but as with a lot of this album, it's much more poppy than it is hip-hop. Obviously, the Dutchess of Swag has one thing on her mind, and it's not haters, it's getting money. The song is so ridiculously catchy and swagerific that it should be her next single.

"Gucci Gucci", in case you've been living under a rock, is Baby Kreay's slam at basic bitches and modern fashion, which is pretty punk rock. It's also the song in which Her Royal Swagness claims that she's "got the swag and it's pumpin out my ovaries." This song is so fucking catchy that since it's dropped in 2010, I've gone from hating it to listening to it daily.

It's a shame that this got released in the middle of September because I'd love to blast "Summertime" while I'm swaggin' out, smoking hella swishers and drinking malt liquor. Basically all this song is about is it being summertime, and your bitch being on Kreay's mind. V-Nasty has a swagged out verse, but she still can't hold a candle to the Holy Swagmother.

On "Left Ey3" Kreay-Kreay pays tribute to both Left Eye Lopez of TLC and Amy Winehouse. Kreay says she's about to "burn this mother fucker down like I'm Left Eye." This is clearly a song about some dumb ass who did the Swagmother wrong and to say in the least Baby Kreay is not stoked on it. She also drops such swagtastic rhymes as "I don't need no TLC / All I need is THC / Higher than Miss Courtney Love / Murder in the first degree."

"BFF (Bestfriend)" is a tribute to Kreay's BFF, who obviously isn't a basic bitch. This song is so catchy that it hurts. It's the poppiest song on the record, and has almost zero rapping, it's still fucking great and is one of the swaggiest pop songs ever. It's just about kicking it with your friend and smokin' doobies and doing whatever you like. "Twerkin!!!" is about exactly what you'd expect; it's a beautiful song about just loving dat booty. Diplo is featured on this track, and he is the only bad thing about it. Dude has absolutely zero swag and is just annoying.

"Go Hard (La.La.La.)" is the leadoff single off of the album and it is so swagerific it hurts. If you listen to this song and don't have it stuck in your head for days on end, then I envy you. Though one thing that I noticed in this song is that Baby Kreay likes to talk mad shit on where basic bitches work. On this she raps "Hey bitch, I see you workin' at the mall / At Forever 21 selling tanks and shawls" and on, "Gucci Gucci," "Bitch you ain't no Barbie / I see you work at Arby's / Number 2, super size, hurry up, I'm starving." Her Royal Swagness does not appreciate hard work because, lets be honest, that's not how one obtains swag.

From there we hear "The Ruler" and "Love Haus." "The Ruler" reminds me of late '80s Def Jam, and is just as swaggy as ever other song on the record. "Love Haus" is another poppy track, in the vein of "Summertime" and "BFF;" it's not quite as swagtastic as those two songs but it reminds me of Lady Gaga, which is pretty fucking swagerific.

In closing, I'd just like to say that Kreayshawn is the punkest, swaggiest, non-basic bitch doing it today. Sorry Lil' Debbie, but Kreay is the rap game Mona Lisa, masterpiece. This is such a promising release from a swaggy young artist. I'm so stoked for her and her career. Swag on Kreayshawn.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

gugl0003 (February 10, 2013)

"The Song BFF (Best Friend) is a tribute to Krey's BFF, who obviously isn't a basic bitch."

I laughed out loud.

btrax (December 8, 2012)

Most fun album of the year.

ghostdentures (October 22, 2012)

"Being an Internet sensation can't be easy, but when you have swag pumping out of your ovaries, the world is yours." Fuck you and fuck swag. Go buy a supreme t-shirt and sit in the corner.

Babrook (October 9, 2012)

"This site does not have to be a catchall for everyone single person's wide array of taste. "

The precedent of at least seven years worth of reviews disagrees with you.

Scruffy (October 5, 2012)

""I'm sure all the young punk bands who might have benefited from a review and a bit of exposure will find it hilarious though."

ahahahahaha fuck off"

He's right, though. I'm not shitting on your taste, but even as a joke, this fucking shit does not belong here. This site does not have to be a catchall for everyone single person's wide array of taste. I also don't think "ironic" reviews are funny. This reeks of tongue-in-cheek, "I'm so cute" hipster bullshit.

bongsmcj (October 5, 2012)

this is really fucking long for a joke review.

is that all you fucks on punk news do?? create joke accounts and troll people with ridiculous shit? well let me ask you another question... is this all just a diversion you create to distract us from your own shitty taste in music and unoriginal ideas?

hayman (October 5, 2012)

I've never heard anyone say swag unless they're talkikng about a roll up bed.
Even if this is a joke why use space on it here?

arejaypunx (October 3, 2012)

completely goddamned ridiculous

NFGPunx (October 3, 2012)

forgot to rate it, lol!

NFGPunx (October 3, 2012)

kool

mattbeall (October 2, 2012)

Hilarious.

that_band_changed_my_life (October 2, 2012)

dear punknews gods, please make this the number on album of the month

NFGPunx (October 1, 2012)

This doesnt sound like punk at all. Why is it here?

mikexdude (October 1, 2012)

Fuck, I love Madball.

rrsiteman (September 30, 2012)

I actually love "Go Hard" and totally agree that its impossible to listen to without getting it stuck in your head. "Breakfast" is pretty darn catchy too though http://vevo.ly/Ob8GRy

Babrook (September 29, 2012)

"I'm sure all the young punk bands who might have benefited from a review and a bit of exposure will find it hilarious though."

ahahahahaha fuck off

jvoland (September 29, 2012)

I get that this review is clearly supposed to be a joke, I just couldn't find the lolz within it. Sorry, guy. Try harder next time. Take notes from the Madball pie-chart review.

badseed (September 29, 2012)

This whole review is clearly a joke I don't get, probably because here in the UK no one knows or cares who Kreayshawn is and 'swag' is just what Burglar Bill put in his sack.

I'm sure all the young punk bands who might have benefited from a review and a bit of exposure will find it hilarious though.

ianissuperrad (September 29, 2012)

Kreayshawn is terrible, this review is awesome.

cheesetits (September 29, 2012)

I've never felt older and slower. No idea what you whackadoos are saying. Must be an east coast thing.

Babrook (September 28, 2012)

swag #yolo

elliot (September 28, 2012)

I really enjoy our world today, where young people can walk around being human garbage cans, just reprehensible people, and to justify it all they have to do is flip you off and yell "SWAAAAAAAG."

kevgren (September 28, 2012)

Why can't I rank on my phone? 0 stars for the album. 5 for the review.

Babrook (September 28, 2012)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XK52HUFBBw

party-animal (September 28, 2012)

"Punknews does not accept "plus" signs apparently, but there are quite a few after the "A" before "A Great Reviewer" in my previous post. Why punknews no allow plus signs?"
Because they're not posi

Babrook (September 28, 2012)

This album shits on most punk releases this year.

Not even kidding.

badbrain (September 28, 2012)

Punknews does not accept "plus" signs apparently, but there are quite a few after the "A" before "A Great Reviewer" in my previous post. Why punknews no allow plus signs?

badbrain (September 28, 2012)

This review is hilarious, I had a smile on my face the whole time. A Great Reviewer Would Read Again

thisrespirator (September 28, 2012)

All swag jokes aside, this album fun, and fuck haters, get money.

whynotquebec (September 28, 2012)

That was the pn.org brain-fart of the year, right there.

alkalinetravis (September 28, 2012)

Holy shit I love that people are getting mad about this review. I give the article 5 stars, Kreayshawn can die in a fire though.

funneloflove (September 28, 2012)

Came it at 104 on the Billboard. Should tell you how badly everyone's doing that you can sell less than 4,000 and still come THIS close to the top 100.

RedScare (September 28, 2012)

There was something in the news about this release yesterday. I think it had the worst-selling debut week of any major label release ever? Maybe it does belong here after all.

lukabratzi (September 28, 2012)

i hate the world

leecorsoisapenis (September 28, 2012)

I found this a little funny. It's from the Biebs review back in December...."ThisRespirator (December 20, 2011)
While this review is well written, why the fuck is it on here? Nobody on here is ever going to listen to this.?" AMAZING!!

funneloflove (September 28, 2012)

I hope this tops the "your favorite music from September" list.

bryne (September 28, 2012)

What the Hell is this shit?

sickboy22 (September 28, 2012)

Very well written. A

Dante3000 (September 28, 2012)

This is like an unfunny version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's review.

shrapnel (September 28, 2012)

The best.

mattah (September 28, 2012)

You have excelled, sir

cheesecakemafia (September 28, 2012)

dumbest shit ever

overdefined (September 28, 2012)

Hilarious.

that_band_changed_my_life (September 28, 2012)

nice

ashtraymonument (September 28, 2012)

damnit, dan.

Babrook (September 28, 2012)

Album of the year blase blase

Maverick (September 28, 2012)

Who is this? I have never heard of this person.

-Scott

Mystereohasmono (September 28, 2012)

http://goo.gl/jvXEZ

Cromulent (September 28, 2012)

My impression of this review:

Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag Swag

Seriously, this chick and this review are fucking shit.

mrdogg45 (September 28, 2012)

Always up, never down, its the punx.

leecorsoisapenis (September 28, 2012)

I have been posting on this site since at least 2001 and this might be the greatest thing I have ever read on the org. I love this and give it 11 out of 10. Thank you for making my Friday morning delightful. May the rest of my work day be swagtastic.

Thrusters (September 28, 2012)

I'll stick with my Propagandhi albums, thank you very much.

Icapped2pac (September 28, 2012)

I wish you and this worthless cum-dumpster cunt would go under the kitchen sink and drink every bottle there. Violent, painful death is the only thing you both deserve for perpetrating these atrocities on music listeners and readers everywhere. I want to stand on both of your necks for a while.

mattramone (September 28, 2012)

Album AND review of the year.

thisrespirator (September 28, 2012)

Can't hear haters blasé blasé

magicaltweeism (September 28, 2012)

more reviews like this please

cyanotic (September 28, 2012)

The fuck did I just read?

irish_punk_is_gimmickry (September 28, 2012)

of course this reviewers favourite band is mixtapes.......both destined for the used bin.................

MN_DrNick (September 28, 2012)

Babrook and MattRamone both are to blame for this. I don't understand how anybody could even like this tripe ironically.

greetingsfromrome (September 28, 2012)

Babrook is clearly a bad influence to the youth of today.

MN_DrNick (September 28, 2012)

If I could give an album zero stars, I could. So I'll just give this the lowest rating. This shit is truly awful.

jvoland (September 28, 2012)

I've thrown the word swag around enough in my life, but god damn man. This is one of the worst, trendiest reviews I've ever read, honestly. I don't even hate this record, but way to overhype it and flaunt your fan boy status instead of giving a real review. No offense.

jimmynorville (September 28, 2012)

I like most of those things, but I also like Propagandhi and Kreayshawn is terrible.