Various

Various: Punk Goes Pop 5Punk Goes Pop 5 (2012)
Fearless Records

Reviewer Rating: 0.5

Contributed by: RENALDO69RENALDO69
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on November 13th 2012Fearless Records continues to take an epic shit not only on punk but on the rock aspect of music as a whole. Whoever greenlit this travesty of unoriginality deserves nothing but the worst. This series breeds a piss-poor attempt at creativity and innovation, while ensuring the most nasal, whiny and a.

Fearless Records continues to take an epic shit not only on punk but on the rock aspect of music as a whole. Whoever greenlit this travesty of unoriginality deserves nothing but the worst. This series breeds a piss-poor attempt at creativity and innovation, while ensuring the most nasal, whiny and annoying of covers that don't even represent good pop. These bands take shitty songs and make them shittier. I have no qualms with this fodder for Twilight fans but seriously, stop masquerading under the fuckin' punk banner.

It's a carousel of metalcore, electronica, autotune, grindcore or whatever-the-fuck-core that these miserable bands are calling themselves these days...and all that was missing was dubstep. Absolutely nothing on this record is punk. Until I see Anti-Flag, Pennywise, NOFX, Bad Religion, Joyce Manor or One Man Army covering something here that's actually pop, then I'll bite. But until then, having to hear "Grenade" (Bruno Mars) being covered by Memphis May Fire makes me wish I were deaf. Vic Fuentes needs to pack it in and go smoke something with Jonny Craig in hopes of Isles and Glaciers rekindling because his union with Mayday Parade on that Gotye song was atrocious. At least the original had Kimbra naked, but this cover is horrendous.

Breathe Carolina manages to fuck up "Billie Jean" and spit on Michael Jean's grave while Adam Lazarra nailed his coffin shut with that utterly disappointing "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" cover by the Maine. Who'd want to cover Justine Beiber or Rihanna? Seriously...who the fuck would? Craig Owens can add his name to the list of fuck-ups here as he royally screws listeners with Coldplay's "Paradise." I would list the rest but they're all disgusting efforts to rake in tween bucks.

Fearless, I applaud you for this ensemble, because these bands have no self-respect nor do they respect punk fans. I don't care if you wanna make this record but leave the punk term out. Then let bands leave their names on this catastrophe. I'm shocked that such bands don't consider a record like this career suicide, but to each his own. If you want the worst record of the year, here it is. Enjoy. I'm just pissed that I couldn't give this a zero!

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

overdefined (November 15, 2012)

@Beastie - Chill out. Renaldo isn't even a native English speaker. And yes, I think that means he should be cut some slack. I mean you called him a frat boy. Did you even click on his name to see about him? He writes reviews all the time, he's allowed to write one like this from time to time.

damnitsderek (November 15, 2012)

So angry.

AlmostPunkEnough (November 15, 2012)

ahh, the immortal Michael Jean; King Of Pup and alleged child molasses.

nicely done review otherwise. i thoroughly enjoy your vitriol.

beastie (November 14, 2012)

This isn't a review. This is an extended rant that should have been posted in the comments section. I haven't listened to the record, as none of the bands or songs appeal to me. But curiosity about what songs were covered, got the best of me. Instead of reading a negative review, criticizing what went wrong with the record, I read something comparable to when Heath Ledger was announced as the Joker and all of the IMDB comments said "Brokebatman".
Com on, RENALDO69 (I love how witty the number on the end of your screen name is, freshman fratboy), If you disliked the record, go into actual reasons rather than "It says it's punk, but it's not". Critique the songs. Sure you got a few people in the comments section to laugh, but it's not a true critique, nor is it a review despite the section that it's posted under.
There are people who can hilariously tear into a subject that they hate, all while providing true commentary. Your idols should be people like Rachel Maddow or some of the staff of Gawker, instead of just regurgitating immature non-sequitors from another site's talkback section.

letthebeatdrop (November 14, 2012)

well played sir, well played.
10/10

SilentStorms (November 14, 2012)

I think this fiasco should have been abandoned after Punk Goes Metal.

eazyd2 (November 14, 2012)

haha awesome

thrillho (November 13, 2012)

well done renaldo, this made my morning.

kubonicrecords (November 13, 2012)

bro u misspelled a few names

lmchc (November 13, 2012)

Buzzmedia: Taking Money To Shit On Records, Just In Case You Felt The Slightest Bit Curious.

overdefined (November 13, 2012)

Renaldo, is this you?

http://www.blackplanet.com/renaldo69/

hbwlons (November 13, 2012)

That third paragraph is pretty funny

Heist (November 13, 2012)

Perhaps the most confusing part of this compilation is the title.

The "punk" bands performing the covers have always been pop bands with distorted guitars, and the many of the original songs are barely pop to begin with, they lean closer to R&B.

cameronfits (November 13, 2012)

This is the greatest review I have ever read. Fantastic fanfuckingtastic sir. 10/10

sweetsugarpezz (November 13, 2012)

classic renaldo.

RedScare (November 13, 2012)

This is my favorite review of the year. Bravo, sir!

summervillain (November 13, 2012)

Srsly I don't get why punknews is even wasting pixels on this.

Sliced-T (November 13, 2012)

These comps aren't even fun to make fun of anymore.