Cauterize - So Far From Real (Cover Artwork)


Cauterize: So Far From RealSo Far From Real (2003)
Windup Records

Reviewer Rating: 1.5

Contributed by: maverickScott
(others by this writer | submit your own)

HAIR METAL TO EMO POP - a senior thesis Guns N Roses:Jimmy Eat World::Motley Crue:Taking Back Sunday [GNR and JEW are both considered the forefathers of their respective genres and are generally unfuckwithable. As for the Crue and TBS - you either love them or hate them, but you have to respect.
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HAIR METAL TO EMO POP - a senior thesis

Guns N Roses:Jimmy Eat World::Motley Crue:Taking Back Sunday
[GNR and JEW are both considered the forefathers of their respective genres and are generally unfuckwithable. As for the Crue and TBS - you either love them or hate them, but you have to respect their musical ability and their talent to fuse two genres together {pop-metal/punk-emo}.]

Motley Crue:Taking Back Sunday::Poison:Matchbook Romance
[While the Crue are just plain badasses, Poison was more of a Crue-lite than anything and wasn't taken too seriously, even though their hearts were 100% into it. MBR is basically Taking Back Sunday For Dummies and gets less respect because of it, but they also are dedicated to the music they make, no matter how devolved it's become.]

Poison:Matchbook Romance::Cinderella:Cauterize
[Whereas Poison and MBR at least put forth some sort of emotion in their music, these other two bands are here strictly for the chicks. Fashion over function is the rule for these two bands. Emotionless dribble that further embarasses their already easily-targeted and much-maligned genre.]

Basically, this CD is crap. If these guys come to your town, make sure your little sister doesn't go to see them.


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anonymous (October 26, 2004)

Im tired of this overly critical rocker comedy crap . thats the real crap . stop being so trendy already . everyone swares they are so unique cause they can be a wise ass .

anyhow , its a good cd . pretty energetic and well put together .

Anonymous (August 28, 2003)

nah i think its lame, that instead of writing a review he tried to be Dr.fucking-comedy.....

has anyone broke the news to you yet? its ok for you to come out of the closet, you don't have to hide behind bitter comedy, just cause you love dick.

Anonymous (August 28, 2003)

So...what I take from Mr. Fuckoff down there is that he's pissed that Scott made fun of Cinderella. So yeah...watch out...he might throw his "Monster Ballads" comp at you or something.

GreenVandal (August 27, 2003)

You sure put us in our place. By typing a paragraph about us on a internet message board, you have officially made me realize all my flaws, and how lame the internet is.


Anonymous (August 27, 2003)

This was probably the worst "review" i've ever heard, nothing more than a weak ATTEMPT at being funny, in the eyes of some lonley fucking, net surfing punk rock kids, that have nothing more to do with their time, then sit on the computer, beating of, and reading this useless website....rather than doing some constructive with their time. "best review ever", what..... did it make you "bust a gut" and type "LoL" a million times, or "hahahaha", to all your lil' internet buddies on MSN, or AOL, or even ICQ, you fucking wastes.
with some luck, hopefully some of you will remember how to fuck off in the real world, and get off the internet, you fucking idiots.

Anonymous (August 26, 2003)

Wow. That was by far the best review I think Scott's ever done...

Forty - are you talking about those dudes who turned into animals? If you are, damn, I loved that cartoon and the comic... Forgot all about it.


Anonymous (August 25, 2003)

the crue rules all.. SHOUT OUT AT THE DEVVVVVVVIL

GreenVandal (August 25, 2003)

oh and that last anonymous comment was me. Yes...that review rocks. I got a good one coming up though! You will all see...

InaGreendase (August 24, 2003)

haha. i would say.

Anonymous (August 24, 2003)

.....well? Was it everyhting you wanted and more?

InaGreendase (August 24, 2003)

if you search in the review archives for calvin, hobbes, OR hot water music that review doesn't come up. and no i wasn't looking in the news archives

GreenVandal (August 24, 2003)


my jeebus, you have been asking for this forever, did you even look?

This score is for both these reviews.

InaGreendase (August 23, 2003)

can someone post a link to the legendary calvin and hobbes review?

Anonymous (August 23, 2003)

I think I'm the only one who actually kinda liked this album. If you close your eyes and try not so hard to see what theyre really in it for, its a good listen.

FortyMinutesWest (August 23, 2003)

Score is for the review. Scott is a visionary (no, not those little action figures with a hologram in their chest).

Anonymous (August 23, 2003)

This is the score for metal references on a punk rock review site.

Anonymous (August 23, 2003)

i miss T.O.E.. They used to put on one hell of a show. I haven't heard or seen them since those days. Though it wouldn't surpise me if they suck now.

Anonymous (August 23, 2003)

This sounds like flat out pop-punk (not using it as a bad word), with the exception of "Kiling Me" to me. The CD isn't bad but these guys have been opening up for Evanescense, so expect them to blow the fuck up

Anonymous (August 23, 2003)

Axl is your daddy, dick.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

my chemical romance is good. nothing bad about "sitting through" one of their performances.


Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

Ew ew ew ew... Metal is what punk was created to fight... That and prog... fuck you and your dumb ideas that Axl stupid Rose had anything to do with significant music... I can fuck with him, I'd take the fucker down.

GreenVandal (August 22, 2003)

Taking Back Sunday fucking sucks. If they are the basis for this band, I can almost physically feel myself getting sick thinking about what these dicks might sound like.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

best review since the calvin and hobbes/hot water music one a while back. this band is so easy to belittle, but this guy went above and beyond.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

Sometimes, you know a band is going to suck the first time you see their picture. This is one of those times.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

this review is the best review ever.

fuck, i wanted to live in your brain while you thought about this.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

I had to sit through a "My Chemical Romance" set the other night...Ugh. Maybe I'll review that shit, because REGGIE AND THE MUTHA FUCKING FULL EFFECT tore shit up!!!

- Scott
(Someone fix my server)

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

one song is good on this album

the one that is prett straight forward and simple and has the word nightfall in it, it's ok, the rest is mtv emo crap.

InaGreendase (August 22, 2003)

pretty good review even if i didn't agree with some of it (as much as anyone dislikes MBR and TBS and their looming nu-emo genre, they really don't sound alike at all)

ads are ads, right?

porkpie (August 22, 2003)

oh, and this stuff is really no different than their older recordings. i've seen no change since they began as a band.

porkpie (August 22, 2003)

i really like this album. and they're a great bunch of guys too.


Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

Good review but when this band was called T.O.E (Take of Eh!) they were fuckin harsh. kinda like a more pop-punk Strung Out. They changed there name and there style and suck much AssCock now.

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

love the review.

just a question, did anyone know these guys existed before they signed to wind-up?

and another question, does the band have a single where the lead singer is goth and sings opera while a dude from silverstein (a band in the same genre which sucks) does a little rap a la linkin park in the chorus?

Anonymous (August 22, 2003)

good review

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