An afternoon chat with Satan...
Me: "Hey, what's goin' on man?"
Satan: "Did you just fucking call me 'man?'"
M: "Jesus, what's up your ass?"
S: "You did NOT just fucking say-"
M: "My bad. But really, what's your problem?"
S: "Oh, just little, stupid things. I mean, Bin Laden's done nothing just sitting on his ass. And I'm worried about the election. I swear on Hitler's grave, if Bush isn't reelected, I quit. It's like the world has gone to..."
S: "I guess."
M: "Hmm. You seem pretty bitchy today."
S: "I know. I sound like the 45,000 nü-emo bands I made to take over the world. I mean, if all that wasn't enough, I'm actually getting sick of my Slayer CDs. I completely forgot about my Cold War after I heard Seasons of Abyss back in the day, but now everything's just...blech."
M: "Really? I think I have a band for you then - Glass Casket. They're this pretty damn brutal hardcore band from North Carolina, and just put out a nine-song full-length."
S: "Tell me more."
M: "Well, they do a lot of the metal stuff that seems popular these days, but pull it off really well. It sort of reminds me of Bleeding Through sometimes, but then there's a tad bit of thrash thrown in there too. The vocals switch off between normal hardcore growls, Avenged Sevenfold-styled baritone screeches, and plain old death metal bellowing. And you know those crazy ascending/descending guitar riffs Every Time I Die started doing so well on Last Night in Town?"
S: "Yeah. I created those, you dumbass mortal."
M: "Oh. Well, they do those too a lot, but even then put a nifty variation on them."
M: "Uh, yeah...nifty. Really though, among a full-throttle atmosphere of chaos are these guitarists that are practically nomads in their fretboard exploration, this insanely varied drumming, and never a real positive moment. But that's what makes it so consistently cathartic."
S: "Alright, thanks for the tip. I think I'll have to check them out."
M: "Okay, I gotta get going. Take it easy."
S: "I have to go throw a suicide bomber into Israeli traffic during rush hour anyway. You too, man."
"Pencil Lead Syringe"