El Jefe

El Jefe: El Jefe's Amorphous FormulaEl Jefe's Amorphous Formula (2003)
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Reviewer Rating: 0.5

Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on August 13th 2004This shit sounds like P.O.D. without the rock. Second rate rhyming takes a backseat to loud funk/atmospheric/shitty beats generated by a full band. It's really predictable and all the songs are "deep" and "introspective." It shit like this, where kids grow up and then just decide that they want t.

This shit sounds like P.O.D. without the rock. Second rate rhyming takes a backseat to loud funk/atmospheric/shitty beats generated by a full band. It's really predictable and all the songs are "deep" and "introspective." It shit like this, where kids grow up and then just decide that they want to make hip-hop music without any knowledge of what hip-hop is, that makes me want to start my own hip-hop group. Here, let me take a stab at a flow:

This band is terrible/the sound is unbearable/I'd rather listen to a cat choke on a hairball.

See how bad that was? This band is even worse:

"Perhaps there's a few things I should explain/how I came to be here and what's my name/It's Wecker but ya probably call me The Wiz/and wreckin' mics late night is how I handle my biz."

So far we have four lines, and not one mention of porn, bitches, weed, booze, sex, coke, or Timberland boots and Land Cruisers. Who the hell do they think they are? Well, here's what I have to say to El Jefe:

Go buy Wu-Tang's "36 Chambers," Dr. Dre's "The Chronic," Ol' Dirty Bastard's "Nigga Please," Mos Def "Black on Both Sides," The Roots "Things Fall Apart," anything by Nas or Jay-z, anything by KRS-1, some Dead Prez for extra flavor, and a pinch of RUN-DMC for a nice solid base. Listen to all these records straight through. Listen to them again. Realize that you'll never be as good as these groups and quit making music.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

Anonymous (August 17, 2004)

BSD insists upon showing how much of an imbecile he is

tahoejeff (August 16, 2004)

I really liked the Grey Album by DJ DangerMouse

Icapped2pac (August 16, 2004)

All you guyas who like true-school hip-hop, I highly recommend anything by Insight, specifically "Updated Software V. 2.5", "Targeting Zones", and his new album, "The Blast Radius", dropping August 24th. His shit is thorough.

Anonymous (August 16, 2004)

"I think the reviewer meant DONT buy anything from Jay Z"

The Black Album is one of the best albums that came out this year. Hell, it's better than alot of punk albums that came out in 2004.

Anonymous (August 16, 2004)

Bitch, you too afraid to weed out?
Or too busy doing the eat out?
Brag about lickin' yo bitchez clit?
What next, brag that you eat your own shit?
Well, I'm tha nigga who's off the tip
When I'm done with your woman, her privates will be ripped
Cuz I'd rather be dressed in the county blues
Than constantly sucking up pussy juice.

-BSD

Anonymous (August 16, 2004)

I haven't decided if this is the greatest group of comments I've ever read on this site or the number one reason for me to kill myself.

I'll get back to you when I figure it out.

Anonymous (August 16, 2004)

"Raised from the grave, I strike BACK!"

Thought about these verses while showering.

Everyone knows I murked you/ Just look at your epitaph//
"White boy, fugly and wack too!"/ Bitch, your life is one big laugh//
Don't come talking about guns/ You's too weak to hold a gat/
Haha, the only thing you'll pull is a fucking boot strap// (haha fuck that's wack... tried to come out with something about pulling the plug to your own life, but I can't think about anything tight right now)

Talking shit about emptying clips/
Bitch please, you's afraid to lick a clit//
There is no Empire striking back/
No hope for you, the Jedi got clapped//

Anonymous (August 16, 2004)

"Laugh at the class that you lack!"

Stop fronting, shut your mouth/
You's the high school dropout//

Sorry that was kinda weak, but it's kinda late and i'm too busy enjoying my new emo glasses.

Anonymous (August 15, 2004)

Raised from the grave, I strike BACK!
Laugh at the class that you lack!

-BSD

Anonymous (August 15, 2004)

sorry dude

but those two bars have yet to have slain me.