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Exploding Fuck Dolls - Crack The Safe (Cover Artwork)

Exploding Fuck Dolls

Exploding Fuck Dolls: Crack The SafeCrack The Safe (2004)
Disaster Records

Reviewer Rating: 3.5


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Hey, Duane Peters was in this band. I could read the bio and tell you guys all about who and how this band was, but guess what? I'm fucking lazy. That's right. Deal with it. Something about someone in the band dying from heroin overdose and Duane Peters becoming the singer because they met him .
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Hey, Duane Peters was in this band. I could read the bio and tell you guys all about who and how this band was, but guess what? I'm fucking lazy. That's right. Deal with it. Something about someone in the band dying from heroin overdose and Duane Peters becoming the singer because they met him at a skateboarding event or something....whatever. I got bored and decided just to listen to it and review what matters: the music. (P.S. I totally don't know who the fuck Duane Peters is. U.S. Bombs? Is that the one? Aren't there like forty other bands he was involved with?)

This album is completely '77 punk, stealing influences from both Sex Pistols and the Ramones. Holy shit! How inventive! Well, we all know that punk music isn't about being inventive, but about how many spikes you can screw into your leather coat, and then slamming out three chords into a distorted guitar. And that's what The Exploding Fuck Dolls do (or did). And it works.

In an era when double time aficionados like NOFX and Bad Religion (the elusive 90s) ruled the scene, it's nice to hear a band playing sloppy mid-tempo punk the way it was intended. The guitar solos are shitty and so simple that a cracked out toddler on, well, crack, could play them. Musically, the band seems proficient enough, but you can tell that they're playing the shit out of their instruments to the point of knocking them out of tune and missing beats. It's also nice to know that no matter where the song is or is going, you're always going to have eighth notes on the hi-hat or ride cymbals with your power chords.

I really couldn't tell you about any songs that stick out. Every song sounds the same. And that's not a bad thing. An entire CD full of high-energy classic punk music could never be a bad thing. Short songs appeal to short attention spans, and basic song structures allow you to predict what's going to happen next so that you don't look like a fool when trying to sing along with the choruses (even though the band is dead, you can sing along in your room while nobody is looking, we won't tattle on you for being lame like that).

Overall, a solid release. Nothing revolutionary, but worth checking out, especially if you have an affixation with the early punk scene, and would like to see some more of the commemorable contemporaries.

 

 
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Tim Fite - Fair Ain't FairAloha - Light WorksVampire Weekend - Vampire WeekendCat Power - JukeboxHex Machine - Run to Earth [12 inch]Akimbo - Navigating the BronzeTin Armor - A Better Place Than I Have BeenThe Makai - The End of All You KnowWarren Ellis - Crooked Little Vein [book]Pretty Boy Thorson & the Falling Angels - Ain't It Funny

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anonymous (January 12, 2005)

I found this at a pawn shop today. I bought it because the name rang a bell and it was 2 bucks, but I don't know if I could ever put a cover like that in my CD case

Anonymous (December 15, 2004)

come on, let's be honnest... TEFD are NOT a shitty band but their music isn't as good as the US Bombs or even the Hunns... off course that duane peters deserves attention and media coverage in what he does cos' he is a fucking great entertainer and an absolute pUnK and pop icon, but if we talk stricktly about music, this ain't very good... TEFD only make sense to me as a "look what the US Bombs singer was into before meeting kerry and starting the band..." album... anyway, i'm sure that live it can be pretty wild and great...

Anonymous (December 15, 2004)

looks like a Village People album cover...

Anonymous (September 2, 2004)

Duane Peters is a fucking legend, The Msster of Disaster. His current band the Hunns kicks the shit out of any fucking band out there right now so get on your knees and pray to this fucking god.

Anonymous (September 2, 2004)

I could've sworn that Duane Peters was dead. Dammit.

Anonymous (September 2, 2004)

Especially coming from a dude who calls himself CallingLondon. Jeez...if you're gonna go the whole "classic punk" route go the full 9 and do a few minutes of research. No one has any work ethic anymore.

Anonymous (September 2, 2004)

Jesus people...Duane Peters! Legendary skateboarder? US Bombs? Duane Peters & the Hunns? Disaster Records? It's disgusting that on PUNKnews.org everyone knows Chris Carraba, but no one knows Duane Peters. Says a lot for the current state of the music.

CallingLondon (September 2, 2004)

oh, and i really hope they're not actually trying to look cool there. the ramones looked cool. they look like tools.

CallingLondon (September 2, 2004)

who's duane peters?

gladimnotemo (September 1, 2004)

The album cover is superhero gay.

Other than that, the score is for the mighty Duane Peters. If you honestly didn't know who he is, I will come to your house and kill you.

Anonymous (September 1, 2004)

This band is not about the music, they're about their "shtick", it's sick really, don't buy this album.

Anonymous (September 1, 2004)

So you're a better speller than me. Now if only you knew what the fuck you were talking about you'd be set.

Jesse (September 1, 2004)

"By the way, if that not knowing who Duane Peters is comment wasn't sarcastic, then you have NO right to be righting for a punk website."

I can spell "writing" right. I think it gives me an edge over you.

Anonymous (September 1, 2004)

With an intro like that I've come to the conclusion that you should never consider a field in journalism. Way to start off a music review with a bunch of "whatever's" and "who gives a shit's".

By the way, if that not knowing who Duane Peters is comment wasn't sarcastic, then you have NO right to be righting for a punk website.

Anonymous (September 1, 2004)

i read this review because the band has a cool name.

i'm punk rock.

Jesse (September 1, 2004)

Your comment doesn't really make sense, BSD. It's undisputable that the guitar solos on this album were really simple. We're not talking Hendrix or even something shitty and experimental from Reed or Cale, it's just simple and to the point. Like the rest of the CD. I never said it was a bad thing.

Fuzzy (August 31, 2004)

This review raised my estimation of you, sir. Not that it matters, but I thought I'd share.

Anonymous (August 31, 2004)

Toddlers play guitar? So basically any rock before prog was toddler simpleton music?

On that note, the Stooges were also not very good musicians.

I have a problem with all of this adding together.

-BSD

adam (August 31, 2004)

Again Jesse reviews something I was supposed to but neglected for too long. I like this record, it's fun.

-adam

Anonymous (August 31, 2004)

Puuuuuunk RAWWWWK! VOTE DEMOCRATE!!

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