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Funeral Diner - The Wicked (Cover Artwork)

Funeral Diner

Funeral Diner: The WickedThe Wicked (2004)
Alone Records

Reviewer Rating: 1
User Rating:


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

To tell you the truth, with a name like Funeral Diner, I was completely expecting something metalcore. Instead, I got something ambient-esque in the style of Desert City Soundtrack, Murder By Death, or a really lame version of Godspeed! You Black Emperor that breaks into screaming. The thing is, i.
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To tell you the truth, with a name like Funeral Diner, I was completely expecting something metalcore. Instead, I got something ambient-esque in the style of Desert City Soundtrack, Murder By Death, or a really lame version of Godspeed! You Black Emperor that breaks into screaming. The thing is, if you're going to have a band like this, they better be damn interesting. No one wants boring instrumentals, and no one wants bands trying to be hardcore when they just really aren't. Especially ones with cheesy synth lines that sounds like bells.

What probably sets this band apart is that they try to get hardcore at times. And it sounds trite and forced. It's hard to play with passion and screaming when so many other bands have that style as well. Two years ago I would have thought this band to be excellent, but now they are just blah. We've heard the whole screaming with melodic guitar lines before. In fact, these days, anything with screaming is starting to bore me. It doesn't matter what genre it gets separated down into, it's all just blurring together.

I mean, it's not terrible. On this four song EP, the band is trying to be inventive, but it just ends up sounding like a rip-off of Murder By Death, or even on "It Burns," the guitar riff sounds sort of like the one in Metallica's "Unforgiven." And I fucking hate Metallica. This band just doesn't do it for me. It might do it for you, and if it does, then great. Go buy it. But for me, this gets a big thumbs down.

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anonymous (March 3, 2005)

ok ok ok so this reviewer calls Funeral Diner's synth effects cheesy.
Yes, cause for people like him punk in 2005 should still be like Youth Of Today!
So...don't show records like this to Mr Jessie-Ass, cause he won't get it.
He just won't get it.
why the fuck do these people write reviews.
Funeral Diner have already created clones all over the world, setting new ideas in punk.
Yes, I wrote P-U-N-K!

FUCK OFF now

Anonymous (December 24, 2004)

Agreed. Jesse is an ignorant and egotistical piece of shit. Admit you don't know what you're talking about and we can all be friends. Isn't that the best solution? Oh maybe not, cuz you fucking suck. Please fire this man - errrr little boy.

Anonymous (December 9, 2004)

Accidentally, unintenionally and regrettably I have in the past and today come across some reviews by Jesse.
Good God!

See? This is the result of stupid ignorants putting their hands on punk music.
Sad.

By the way, I don't even think he gets paid to do what he does, I certainly hope he doesn't.
YOU PAY PEANUTS, YOU GET MONKEYS.

JESSE piss off you stupid monkey!

Anonymous (December 9, 2004)

This Jesse guy is blatant and ignorant.
Most likely born and "braised" on Sick Of It All and Rancid, certainly NOT on Mohinder and Portraits Of Past.
How sad it is to see that people like him somehow get to write reviews on Funeral Diner.

Jesse, go sell ice cream.

Anonymous (November 1, 2004)

Do you even know who Portraits of Past are?
Get their Ebullition LP and learn something about the history of 'screamo'.

Jesse (October 29, 2004)

Just like how you should be banned for not capitalizing your sentences, and for not using a question mark when one was needed. Bitch and moan all you want, but I've got another bag of CDs to review on their way.

Anonymous (October 28, 2004)

how is this kid still writing reviews.
he better be banned after this one.

Anonymous (October 26, 2004)

"a song about straight edge and how the idea has been tarnished by violence and assholes "

scratch that one, i misread and that description is for the same song as the one below it

Anonymous (October 26, 2004)

also in reference to "all their lyrics being positive almost to the point of being annoying"...here's a list:

the new cd:
a song about remaining positive (1 point)
a song about the war
a song about convenience killing our culture
a song about the difficulty of good communication
a song about straight edge and how the idea has been tarnished by violence and assholes
a song about like...everything (straight edge, corporations, sexism, self-doubt, music)
a song about high school and how it affects you
a song about following your passion because life is short
a really old song (from their first self-released EP, "In the Year of the Dawg") about intense self-hate and guilt

then the s/t is wrought with politics and confused self-doubt

Anonymous (October 26, 2004)

OK I'll admit that among the droves of bands that sound alike, The Locust stand out, but they try way too hard to do so. Out of all the superbly creative bands out there, to choose the locust is a shame indeed.

Also, to Jesse, I was reading through that booklet (found it!) and just because a band talks about positivity doesn't automatically qualify them as "posicore"...Reversal of Man and Tunes for Bears to Dance To both have lots of lyrics and writings about positivity and friendship, but neither of them are posicore in the least bit.

Jesse (October 26, 2004)

I never called this band posi-core. That was in reference to The Assistant. Pay attention. It'll get you better grades and make you seem like less of a dolt.

Anonymous (October 26, 2004)

"The Locust challenges you with intelligent lyrics and good songwriting?! Clearly you have a warped view of music."

even though i think this review was pretty bad, i'd have to agree with Jesse on this one. the locust can write the best 45 second post-modern hardcore songs in the world (take it for what it's worth), and their lyrics are actually pretty interesting. contrary to popular belief, they're not all nonsense.

let's just say...
if William S. Burroughs started a hardcore band, it would be the Locust. and that is fucking cool.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

it's not even an issue of you not liking the music. fine, the cd isn't that great, whatever. it's an issue of you being completely uninformed, completely ignorant, and trying to pretend that you know what you're talking about when you obviously don't.

at different times you have called this band a murder by death rip-off and posi-core. i mean, seriously, what the fuck?

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

I'm basing my opinion on both their major full lengths, but moreso on the s/t than the new one. Unfortunately, I seem to have misplaced my We'll Make the Roads By Walking CD booklet in the endless abyss of my room so you'll have to point out where exactly they said "we're a posi-core band"...but i've read over it a few times in my spare time and it's pretty political as well beside the first song...and there's a lot of self-doubt and self-realization and anti-corporations and feminism stuff in it. They definitely are not a posi-core band, though.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

Posi-core! The hardcore for jocks who like to pretend they give a shit about their friends and their scene!

-BSD

Jesse (October 25, 2004)

I don't know what lyrics you were reading, but their latest CD was labeled posi-core by them and all the lyrics were positive to the point of almost being annoying.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

and there went your last shred of credibility

i'm well aware that The Locust aren't screamo...I mistakenly thought that you were labeling them such so in that respect, yes, i screwed up...now that i know what you were really saying: The Locust challenges you with intelligent lyrics and good songwriting?! Clearly you have a warped view of music.

OK fixed now on to your second, and much more ridiculous point.

The Assistant are POSI-CORE? Posi = Good Clean Fun, Stretch Armstrong, Bane, etc. If you've ever even listened to The Assistant you know that they sound VERY little like any of these bands. Almost none of their lyrics are even positive...most of them are angry social/political commentary. They also have members of You and I, who were one of the most prominent and well-liked screamo bands ever. The Assistant, while they had a very unique style, is most definitely a screamo band

I could keep on going about your definition of screamo and all kinds of other crap but I don't think the viewers of this site wanna see us bickering at each other any further. If you want to check out those bands, my soulseek name is "hobbitcore" and I have plenty of stuff by all of them...if you want to continue this argument on AIM, i'm at IAMHOBBITCORE...email, i'm at derrick@ot305.net

Jesse (October 25, 2004)

Now you just proved how stupid you are. The Locust are not "screamo." Everyone will slap you for that. Take a look at that word. It's a combination of "scream" with "emo." Let's do a checklist for The Locust. Screaming? Check. Emo? No check. Oops. You fucked up.

The Assistant isn't screamo either. It's posi-core. I didn't make up the genres, I'm just informing you of what they actually are. I reviewed their CD earlier and gave them a 6. There, that's what I think of that.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

"Listen man, it's a bankrupt genre. I don't want to hear attempts at mixing passionate whininess with anger. It's either songs about girls or songs about death. I'm tired of songs about girls, and songs about death are just as cliché in this day and age. When I listen to hardcore music, I want something that challenges my thought process as well as my tastes in music. Two bands that do this well are The Locust and Akimbo, both offering excellent intelligent lyrics and amazing song writing. I was totally into the whole "screamo" thing a few years back, and lemme tell you, it's boring. There's only so far you can go without sounding like everyone else. Shit man, when everything sounds like everything else, then what's the point of listening to new bands?"

This whole paragraph proves that your knowledge of this genre is ridiculously limited. The Locust do screamo well and have intelligent lyrics? Clearly you have a warped view of this entire genre, so in an act of good faith, i ask that you take the time to check out a few interesting bands and see if you think they're shitty or contrived...and let me know if you've heard these bands before because i'd gladly humble myself as such...

A Day in Black and White
Ampere
Angel Hair
The Assistant
City of Caterpillar
Envy
Forstella Ford (the Quietus record)
I Am the Resurrection
In Loving Memory
Indian Summer
Montcalm
Off Minor (one of the best bands around, in my opinion)
Portrait
Portraits of Past
Shotmaker
Stop It!!
Welcome the Plague Year
Wolves
Yage

and see what you think of screamo after you've heard all of that.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

havent heard this record, but their split with Welcome to the Plague Year was awesome, but they that record has Seth from Walken on vocals, so that's probably why it rules. Go listen to more Saves the Day, jeez.

Jesse (October 25, 2004)

Listen to more screamo, hunh?

Listen man, it's a bankrupt genre. I don't want to hear attempts at mixing passionate whininess with anger. It's either songs about girls or songs about death. I'm tired of songs about girls, and songs about death are just as cliché in this day and age. When I listen to hardcore music, I want something that challenges my thought process as well as my tastes in music. Two bands that do this well are The Locust and Akimbo, both offering excellent intelligent lyrics and amazing song writing. I was totally into the whole "screamo" thing a few years back, and lemme tell you, it's boring. There's only so far you can go without sounding like everyone else. Shit man, when everything sounds like everything else, then what's the point of listening to new bands?

So far, out of the 81 reviews I've written, 15 were of this "screamo" genre, where everything sounds exactly the same. This is not including the fact that 18 of the reviews were written on my own merit, meaning that I've written 63 reviews of CDs that Punknews has sent me. This means that about 24%, or just under 1/4, of all my reviews were of the "screamo" genre. If that's not research, then I don't know what is. Just because I don't like them doesn't mean that I don't know what I'm talking about. Just because you like them doesn't mean that you should be writing the review. If that was the case, we wouldn't have anything but 8s-10s.

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

"Hey, I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I mean, seriously people, c'mon. Funeral Diner? The Wicked? You can't get any more predictable than those terribly cliché names for anything associated with hardcore.

For people who are saying that I'm ignorant and stupid, please read through the comments. I acknowledged that I did accidently leave a part out. I also explain that the first song is a shitty instrumental in the way of Godspeed or Murder By Death. Their press sheet mentions Godspeed. I don't have anything else to go off of, so if this is their only ambient instrumental (which I'm sure it's probably not), then stop getting on my case.

Seriously. Funeral Diner. That name is just as stupid, boring, and cliché as the music, which was 100% predictable. But since you guys are whining about it, I'll listen to it again right now. Yup, just as I stated earlier, the first song is a shitty ambient track that's a big rip-off of Murder By Death/Godspeed, and it features some of the cheesiest sounding synth bells. Like something straight out of a cheesy new-age church service. Track 2. Boring. Sloppy. Same damn chords I've heard with every fucking "screamo" band out there today. Only this song is six-and-a-half minutes long. Track 3: see Track 2, only cut it in half. The use the same drum part for every song. And it sounds terrible. I've heard pop-punk bands that were much more ingenious. Track 4 starts out in the same vein as Track 1, only then they rip-off the guitar riff from Metallica's Unforgiven, and throw in the same damn drum part from every other song, thus ending their EP in a violently blasé shitstorm. I'm sorry if this is your idea of good music, because there are at least a few thousand other bands doing this same type of music, and they all are boring."

I'll give you this...the instrumental song does have synth in it...i guess you could consider it cheesy. But "same chords as every screamo band?!" "They use the same drum beat in every song?!" Their drummer is one of the most talented I've ever heard...his drumming is transient as fuck, he changes his patterns constantly throughout a song. The fact that you brought up that they "rip off the riff from Unforgiven" shows you truly and deeply have no fucking clue what you're talking about because there is nothing in any of these songs that sounds remotely like Metallica or The Unforgiven.

I'm not sure what kind of music you normally listen to, but you sound like you need to do some more research on (as in...listen to more...) screamo. Cuz clearly you have no idea what's going on on this record. If I may recommend this band's Euro Tour CD entitled "...Is Dead" or their LP called "Difference of Potential."

Oh and judging a band by their name = baaad journalism...but i'm sure you knew that, being that you're a big fancy staff writer ;)

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

My cousin asked me to toss her salad and put some ranch sauce on it the other day.

-Jason the Tate
(Scott is large and in charge.)

Anonymous (October 25, 2004)

I'd rather toss salad than listen to this shit.

Anonymous (October 24, 2004)

Fuck? No. Fag? That's more like it.

It's more like:

"Listen, you little fagsz I've knowm these guys since 3rd grade, nicest gys in th world, great band, if your pansy ass don't get it, who care?"

-BSD

Jesse (October 24, 2004)

Damn, I thought I had it down. I guess I should just practice more.

FortyMinutesWest (October 24, 2004)

"Was that my appropriate response? Is that how it's supposed to sound?"

Needs more fuck.

Jesse (October 24, 2004)

Hey, I calls 'em as I sees 'em. I mean, seriously people, c'mon. Funeral Diner? The Wicked? You can't get any more predictable than those terribly cliché names for anything associated with hardcore.

For people who are saying that I'm ignorant and stupid, please read through the comments. I acknowledged that I did accidently leave a part out. I also explain that the first song is a shitty instrumental in the way of Godspeed or Murder By Death. Their press sheet mentions Godspeed. I don't have anything else to go off of, so if this is their only ambient instrumental (which I'm sure it's probably not), then stop getting on my case.

Seriously. Funeral Diner. That name is just as stupid, boring, and cliché as the music, which was 100% predictable. But since you guys are whining about it, I'll listen to it again right now. Yup, just as I stated earlier, the first song is a shitty ambient track that's a big rip-off of Murder By Death/Godspeed, and it features some of the cheesiest sounding synth bells. Like something straight out of a cheesy new-age church service. Track 2. Boring. Sloppy. Same damn chords I've heard with every fucking "screamo" band out there today. Only this song is six-and-a-half minutes long. Track 3: see Track 2, only cut it in half. The use the same drum part for every song. And it sounds terrible. I've heard pop-punk bands that were much more ingenious. Track 4 starts out in the same vein as Track 1, only then they rip-off the guitar riff from Metallica's Unforgiven, and throw in the same damn drum part from every other song, thus ending their EP in a violently blasé shitstorm. I'm sorry if this is your idea of good music, because there are at least a few thousand other bands doing this same type of music, and they all are boring.

Anonymous (October 24, 2004)

" losers who are just mad that I insulted their favorite local band "

ok, i missed this comment the first time through...

dude, you're an idiot. not only do you write an embarassing review that makes you look completely ignorant and uninformed, you have the audacity to defend it and attack people who know much more than you do.

"favorite local band"? quit digging the hole, you're just making yourself look even more ignorant.

Anonymous (October 24, 2004)

gotta jump on the bandwagon here...

jesse, you are way off base here. wow. the base isn't even on the same fucking continent.

xmidipunkbastardx (October 24, 2004)

funeral diner are a great band.
and please don't try to mix godspeed here. that's something totally different.

Anonymous (October 24, 2004)

"Why is Jesse such a cockass?"

Jesse (October 24, 2004)

u r a fagget u r soooo ghey go have sex wit buts

Was that my appropriate response? Is that how it's supposed to sound?

FortyMinutesWest (October 24, 2004)

Well, actually...

Jesse, I agree with you 99% of the time, but I like this quite a bit. This is just a good screamo, and they're ex Portraits of Past, another sweet band. This is pretty what I've come to expect from Alone. Aside from all of that, this is a re-issue, this EP was originally released in 2002.

Wait, that sounded way too polite for a comment disagreeing with a review.

Fuck ass hell shit motherfucker why the fuck don't you like this shit, go fucking listen to Fat Wreck!!!!111!

That's better.

Jesse (October 23, 2004)

By the way, I had three published this week, and only this one is catching flak.

Jesse (October 23, 2004)

Has anyone noticed that the people making these comments are losers who are just mad that I insulted their favorite local band and that most times all I get are positive comments from the other staff reviewers?

Yeah, me too.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

Anchors, you're a shitty human being.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

Oh, Anchors.

When are those crazy canucks AlexisI'mBurning going to beam you up on their mothership and take you to the planet Suck...where you most certainly belong.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

has anyone else noticed how a large portion of the comments on jesse's reviews are along the lines of "what the hell are you talking about? you're ignorant."?

why the hell did they make you staff?

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

Dude, Fear Before the March of Flames suck. They're just a bad Blood Brothers rip-off. And as for the Godspeed reference...out of 4 songs, one is an ambient Godspeed rip-off, and another has a long Godspeed intro. That's 2/4. Plus, their press sheet mention Godspeed.

stevejonestherealbones (October 23, 2004)

mall screamo? since when did a fake ass genre like screamo ever have a "mall" subgenre or whatever. i mean its the worst fucking name for a genre in the first place, and by definition it already is "mall screamo" all screamo is "mall screamo" any self described screamo band is shit anyway

- jones

Anchors (October 23, 2004)

Jesse, I'm not an english major or anything, but I'm pretty sure the word is 'champagne.'

Greg is correct that this album is along the lines of Usurp Synapse, Yaphet Kotto, Kite Flying Society, and things along those lines. They've been around a lot longer than Murder By Death, and your comparison to Godspeed ranks among one of the single dumbest things I've ever had the displeasure of reading.

Lastly, Alexisonfire is not screamo, nor have they ever attempted to be. They're not in the same category as shitty 'mall-screamo' like Funeral For A Friend, and similar bullshit, while at the same time they're no You And I, or Love Lost.

They're in league with Fear Before The March Of Flames, and melodic hardcore bands like that. They're good guys, and they've stayed true to where they started. Get off their fucking case. It's annoying. Most of you kids like bad ska and Rancid, leaving you in no place to criticize.

Jesse (October 23, 2004)

See the big yellow button that says STAFF? That means they send me records, and then I review them. If records like this were just reviewed by people who like them, then there would only be 8s, 9s, and 10s.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

oh..OH..."GOOOD" music

well...zing...

yutz

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

This band has been around for far longer than any of the mainstream screamo bullshit.

As someone said earlier, there is a huge difference between "Alexisonfire screamo" and "Off Minor screamo".

This band, along with bands like Off Minor, Welcome The Plague Year, and Usurp Synapse, are are few REAL screamo bands left who also have the history to back them up.

I don't know why you even reviewed a record like this if you have no knowledge about them as a band.

-Greg

Jesse (October 23, 2004)

"classy emo/screamo"

Yeah, I totally would break out the champaign for this one.

And to the other guy, yes. I do listen to music. Good music. Which does not include this band.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

funeral diner are classy emo/screamo and not the cheap lame pop punk/nu metal kind. love this.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

this review disgusts me...if you knew thing one about what you were talking about, you'd know that this band does what they do amazingly..."a really lame Godspeed You! Black Emperor?!" do you even listen to music at all? what the hell is wrong with you? i can't even respond to this properly because it's so abominable.

Jesse (October 23, 2004)

Yeah, I only use it because people then know what I'm talking about. I hate the word, like I hate hell, and all Montagues. I've talked about that in earlier reviews.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

Screamo and emo are things that work for maybe five or six bands total. The rest just seem to be derivative.

I like Heroin, too, but really, fuck this shite.

-BSD

SilentStorms (October 23, 2004)

Alright you fuckers, Funeral Diner has been around for much longer than your aforementioned bands, and has the drummer from Portraits of Past - who were the mad shit back in 1994. That's cool if ya don't dig the music, but bashing it because it has screaming is bullshit. There's a difference between Alexisonfire screamo and Off Minor screamo - so try and have an open mind. Booyacka.

Anonymous (October 23, 2004)

Screamo is still the worst term ever.

-Strewtho.

Anchors (October 22, 2004)

Deprogrammed for the good of society?

Hey, somebody watching a little too much Star Trek?

And for the love of God, shut up about Alexisonfire. Every fucking time one of you douche bags disagrees with me, I'm wrong because I like Alexisonfire. Get off their case, and if you disagree with me, show me why instead of saying trash along the lines of "Oh, it's because he likes Alexisonfire."

That shit is getting pretty fucking tired.

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

"Anchors is the kid who shits himself over Alexisonfire... "

hahaha

Kids that listen to trash like that should be thoroughly deprogrammed for the good of society.

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

youre so dumb

funeral diner is a great band

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

i dunno. this band is/was pretty old screamo stuff. its ok.

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

How the fuck does GY!BE get dragged into this? Don't insult them by even mentioning this band as sounding anything remotely close.

-GYBE

Jesse (October 22, 2004)

"but you're completely unqualified to make reviews on screamo bands"

There is so much wrong with this statement that I don't even know how to insult you. Go listen to Alexisonfire.

Jesse (October 22, 2004)

I do apologize, I missed a part. It was supposed to be "sounds like a rip-off of Murder By Death and some shitty screamo band."

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

You really are ignorant...do you know anything about Funeral Diner? they arent metalcore or like murder by death. they play emotional hardcore and are more similar to Pg.99 or Hot Cross than anything else.

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

Anchors is the kid who shits himself over Alexisonfire...

-BSD

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

This band's aiight. You people, however, make me itch. You're fired!

stevejonestherealbones (October 22, 2004)

all i said was screaming blows. sorry if thats all you know how to do and you have a shitty screamo band

- jones

Anchors (October 22, 2004)

" It's not terrible "

Yet, you gave it one star. Not only are you an idiot, but you're completely unqualified to make reviews on screamo bands. Just stop, please, leave it to somebody who knows something about the genre. Because you obviously do not.

And Steve Jones, quit bitching about screaming, you probably like Rancid.

Anonymous (October 22, 2004)

murder by death? are you shitting me? you've got to be shitting me.

your reviews are just plain ignorant.

stevejonestherealbones (October 22, 2004)

i agree. screeming blows.

- jones the bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com

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