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Eighteen Visions

Vanity (2002)
Trustkill Records

Reviewer Rating:

Contributed by: Chinatown
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on December 24th 2004

Ah, Eighteen Visions. A “deep” title: Vanity. Songs with names like “Fashion Show” and “Love In Autumn.” Released by Trustkill in ‘02, at the very advent of Tatecore. I should’ve been warned.

Looking back, I can’t even remember why I bought this thing in the first place. I had probably read some positive review about the band on this very website. And the indie store I was at was having a one-day 2-for-$20 sale on a few select (ironic in this context) CDs. Oh, and the hot pink cover likely had an aphrodisiacal effect on my mind. Those are the only excuses I can present as to why I bought it.

What you get on this album is pretty much what Victory and the like have been spoon-feeding the trendy young masses these past couple of years. But you see, Eighteen Visions is a smart band, so they’ll disguise the trademark soft moments under punchier tones. The Stone Temple Pilot-influenced “I Don’t Mind” is a good example of this. Perhaps the band forgot that this song is about going to take a walk in a garden. Wait, they can’t be too off-the-wall! “The Critic” is the same acoustic song that’s been on all the Tatecore albums ever released. They’ve even had the audacity to include a generic rap-rock number, “Sonic Death Monkey,” in which the singer raps about wanting a “bitch” to “spank [his] monkey cuz [she] knows it’s real funky.” There’s a dumb skit at the end of the album, in which two interchangeable band members discuss stealing a Pantera drawing as their cover art. Just a reminder to all our fans that we’re really really h4rdc0r3 y’all.

Lyrics? “You couldn't tell me that this was the best that you could do / And now you've left me to hang here all alone.” And: “I don’t care about getting any respect / I just care about getting a big fat paycheck.” I made up that second one since I’m doing my best to portray this band as somewhat honest about their intentions.

If the guy doing the Cookie Monster voice ever quits his job or dies of malnutrition, I suggest the singer fills out an application for the spot. He’s got the tone right on key, and I’m sure that loves to pretend to be something he’s not. Plus, he’d probably make a lot more money than he did from the sales of Vanity. It’s no surprise Eighteen Visions later got picked up by a major - they suck, but they have really cute pictures in the liner notes.

Want some final proof on how forgettable this band is? Just before submitting this review, I realized that I’d been calling them Thirteen Visions throughout it. So if your music store ever has a similar sale, and this thing happens to be a part of it, be warned to keep it out of your selections.

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Anonymous (December 20, 2005)

wat a c o c k this album i fink is reli good!!!!!11

Anonymous (May 24, 2005)

this is a pretty good cd, this is way better than obsesson

crazytoledo (May 19, 2005)

Vanity is the best 18 Visions I've heard, so know I got to buy their older releases as I've only heard this and Obsession...

Anonymous (March 29, 2005)

this is a great cd. awesome band , recomended tracks:
1-vanity
2-fashion show
and #3 i dont know what the song is called,but its great.
#10- sonic death monkey, great song

Anonymous (December 30, 2004)

"What's with the Pulley bashing?! Pulley put out THE best punk album of '04. You guys are really confused."

My eyes swell with pity for your miserable existence.

End it....Do it.

Do the deed.

moneenerd (December 28, 2004)

Also.... "Obsession" makes "Vanity" look like a piece of fucking heaven.

Whatever. I'm going to throw on my TurboNegro album and forget that i even read this review...

moneenerd (December 28, 2004)

I, however, thought this album was alright. Especially compared to most of the other metalcore out there. Yeah sure it's cheesy as fuck, and as glam as Hedwig is, but it's fun and has some rad grooves. I think people are forgetting how fun music can be, weither it's original or not. I find myself chastised constantly for being a huge Andrew WK fan, but fuck, can you get any more more fun or posi than Andrew WK? Yeah sure, 18V might be *stealing* a lot of sounds and ideas from STP or Alice In Chains or even GodSmack, but it's so hard to be original nowadays. Both hardcore and metalcore have been around for so long that it's hard to sound different than the others, and still make money and have fun doing it. It's also a relief to find a band that finds influence in old-school 90's grunge bands that had a whole generation rocking out, unlike every other phoney out there trying to sound like Everytime I Die or Hatebreed.

Anonymous (December 28, 2004)

Just so you know, I only review CDs that I purchased. It wouldn't be right/honest for someone to praise or trash a band without having given them a few dollars. That said, out of the 70 CDs I bought this year, this is the only one that sticks out as truly awful. Belvedere's latest was pretty bad too, but Adam already reviewed it.

-Chinatown

Anchors (December 28, 2004)

Yeah, because it's real difficult to pick 18 Visions out of a crowd of good music.

FortyMinutesWest (December 28, 2004)

The cookie monster thing is the most overused putdown ever, and half of the time, it's not even used correctly.

Anonymous (December 28, 2004)

i used to laugh at chinatown and his rambling comments, then i realized he knows what the fuck he's talking about...most of the time...

he usually can weed out the decent from the shite. and this band and album are in fact shite. kudos to china.

WNB
-jd

Anonymous (December 28, 2004)

to the guy a few posts down:

Emo is not a genre of music anymore. In the 90's emo meant a specific type of music, such as Mineral and Rites Of Spring. Today the word emo is used by people who are casual mainstream music listeners who are not are involved in (for lack of a better term) this "scene". Its used by them to describe Dashboard Confessional to Coheed And Cambria. As fans of this spectrum of music we would say that those bands have nothing in common (other than not being very good). The term is dead.

Anonymous (December 27, 2004)

18 Visions is one of the worst bands of all time bar none. Fuck this shit.

Anonymous (December 27, 2004)

How is this hardcore 0_o

This band is not that great .

Anonymous (December 27, 2004)

This is easily one of the worst reviews I have ever read anywhere. It's not even a review of the album it's the reviewer proving how cool he is by not liking Eighteen Visions. The fact that this is actually passing as a review on this site is something to be ashamed of, at best this review reads like a tryout for buddyhead.com

Anonymous (December 27, 2004)

I suck so fucking hard.

-Chinatown

Anonymous (December 27, 2004)

The only thing worse than this band is the bunch of straight-edge fuckheads that follow them around.

Crookedsuperhero (December 26, 2004)

Ugh. (To the CD and the reviewer)

Anonymous (December 26, 2004)

I would say emo and indie are both a genre of music. You can take indie as meaning independant but it has been basterdised into the name of a genre of music. Once the meaning of a word changes it does have that new meaning like it or not. Screamo used to be a genre for bands like 12 hour turn and I hate myself. Now it is a genre for shitty pop punk type bands with scremed vocals. I don't see how anyone could say Emo isnt a genre. I dont see you basis of reasoning that it isnt. If people start calling a style of music something and it becomes widely accept as the name then that is the name. You could say hip hop is not a genre cause people just decided to start calling it that but that doesnt make any sense.

Aside from my opinion on genres this cd is a piece of shit. It is jampacked with what i call gravy vocals, something you would hear on a Godsmack cd. The guitars tried to become more rocking but it just sounds generic. They started off as a Coalesce ripoff band but atleast they did that well. This cd shows how the hardcore music industry has become less about substance and is all about image and fashion.

randomdipshit

Anonymous (December 26, 2004)

"So, basically, you're only hardcore if you get educated for a certain type of job? And what would that be? Should I stop majoring in liberal arts now?"

do you really not see the humor value in a fashioncore band going to hairstyling school. I mean obviously hairstyling is a valid occupation but come on. their band sucks but their hair is awesome and they WENT TO HAIRSTYLING SCHOOL, i really think that speaks for itself.

Anchors (December 26, 2004)

I don't know if this is old news or not, but:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tatecore

Beautiful.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

just to reiterate...this band is fucking horrible
- the other scott

Anchors (December 25, 2004)

I agree with your description of indie not being a genre, and you not thinking emo is one to begin with explains you not thinking screamo is. But I'm curious as to why you don't think emo is a genre. As far as I'm concerned, it no longer is one, with bands like Taking Back Sunday getting the now bastardized 'emo' label, but it once did exist. I think if you talked to Ian Mackaye about his days in Embrace, he'd never say it was an emo band, nor would Guy Picasomething from Rites Of Spring, but it came to be known as a genre, because they had to differentiate between that and the hardcore punk of the time.

This kid on another website actually wrote a pretty interesting column on a discussion similar to this, I'll give you the link if you care to check it out. Of course it's not factual, really, it's the guys opinion on 'emo', but I'd say it's worth a read.

http://www.pastepunk.com/viewcolumn.php?id=157

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

So what exactly is the critera for making a genre, smart guy?

Jesse (December 25, 2004)

Screamo isn't a genre because emo isn't a genre. Simple as that. Just because a bunch of indie hipsters started calling artists that sounded the same a specific name doesn't mean it's a genre of music. It's just like indie. That's not a music genre either. All it means is independent. People call Modest Mouse indie rock. They're on a major label. Does that make them independent? I'm not saying it's bad music, it's just not a genre.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

just remember, obsession makes this look good. i'm glad i got obsession for free. i had no idea it sucked so hard.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

score is for until the ink runs out

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

this is not a particularly good record, but it's not the sonic plague. it seems like people are falling all over themselves to rip on it. grow up.

also, about the fourfa.com thing, that site is just one dude's opinion. it's not the gospel people treat it as. a lot of the shit that guy writes on there is completely asinine.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

"this is a great review. this band is ridiculous. do you realize these fucks went to hairstyling school? HAIRSTYLING SCHOOL!"

So, basically, you're only hardcore if you get educated for a certain type of job? And what would that be? Should I stop majoring in liberal arts now?

This album is tolerable. 'Obsession', however, eats a fat bag of dicks, and you can quote me on that.

-Gabe (who writes for Vendetta but is not representing its official opinion with this comment)

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

It's not bullshit. It's an actual genre. Built upon what emo started, but with more intense vocals. Bands like You And I, Spirit Of Versailles, and Indian Summer need a category to be put in.

That category is not emo. You can't honestly tell me you'd listen to Embrace or Rites of Spring, than go listen to Spirit Of Versailles and Joshua Fit For Battle, and tell me it sounds the same. Those bands drew a lot of influence from emo, but it's an evolution of it. You may hate everything that screamo has ever produced, fine, that's personal taste, but you can't just disregard it as a genre on that basis.

And to the douchebag in caps.

Irony, as defined by dictionary.com: An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

Now, here's the statement in question: It all falls under the non-existent category known as "screamo."

Care to explain to me just how that's ironic? I'd love to hear your reasoning.

Jesse (December 25, 2004)

You're buying into the bullshit man. It's a non-existent genre.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

Yeah, I didn't read all the comments, but this CD was bad. I got it for free and I still felt ripped off. So I sold it and now I feel better.

Anonymous (December 25, 2004)

"Jesse, www.fourfa.com.

Stop running off at the mouth like an uneducated jackass. You've heard Saetia I'm sure, a screamo band, and you're putting Eighteen Visions in that same category.

You're making Chinatown look smart, congrats."

HAHAHAH. DUDE. THERE'S A THING CALLED IRONY.
YOU'RE ON NO SIDE, CAUSE YOU'RE WORSE THAN BOTH JESSE AND CHINATOWN, EVEN WORSE THAN HTISGOD AND BSD. AND YES, I'M WRITING IN CAPS SO THAT THIS TIME YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE READING.

Anchors (December 24, 2004)

Chinatown, nobody on this site, and I mean nobody likes you. And nobody takes your opinions, or half assed reviews into consideration. If anything, people that hate hardcore will buy this record of out pure spite against you.

Secondly, it's not the lack of knowledge about a genre that makes somebody unintelligent, it's when they run their mouths about something they don't know about, nor do they care to learn about. I guess ignorance would have been a better fit.

In any event, you're the last person who should be correcting anybody, or attempting to use logic.