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The Static Age - Neon Nights Electric Lives (Cover Artwork)

The Static Age

The Static Age: Neon Nights Electric LivesNeon Nights Electric Lives (2004)
Tarantulas Records

Reviewer Rating: 1


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Perhaps what's most disappointing in an album is when you finish listening to it, and nothing sticks in your head; nothing makes any impression. It's not boring per se, but it's just uninteresting. It's something that you might expect as background music in a bad sitcom or soap opera. And that's exa.
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Perhaps what's most disappointing in an album is when you finish listening to it, and nothing sticks in your head; nothing makes any impression. It's not boring per se, but it's just uninteresting. It's something that you might expect as background music in a bad sitcom or soap opera. And that's exactly what the Static Age has to offer.

Believe me, I've heard much worse. Much, much worse. But this just sounds like a wussy version of a nü-emo band, or a crappy extension of a crappy new wave band. It's all just a shitfest, no matter how you look at it. Whatever seems interesting is only because it reminds you of something from some 80's band that you have nostalgia for.

I mean, we're talking Phil Collins, Peter Gabriel, Big Country, and Thompson Twins. The guitar sound is ripped straight off from The Edge from U2, and the bass is recorded with a silly modulation. And it goes nowhere. The breathy vocals are just over the top and the lyrics are equally ridiculous. The last two songs are remixes of previous tracks to make them sound more electronic like Depeche Mode. Or some silly Postal Service rip-off.

Fat chicks with too much black eyeliner are going to be stoked about this record for years.

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anonymous (April 23, 2005)

I don't know if I should base a record review off of what's on their site, since I'm not gonna buy this record, but the song on the site is just boring. I tried listening and it doesn't have anything. Where's the excitement? I'm not gonna give it a 1 because it doesn't suck shit, but it's just so mediocre that I'll forget about this comment by the morning.

Anonymous (March 19, 2005)

Jesse,

Please stop. You're hurting us. You're hurting America. You're a fraud. You know it. A real critic is above responding to his critics. You are not a critic. You're a lucky sap with a good job. Please work HARDER at having educated, thoughtful opinions. You're really, really hurting us.

The Static Age have great songs. Original, great songs. Their sound is a persisting, rump-shakin mish mash of 80's nostalgia. Really. The kind of band you wish you had started.

The only thing that's missing from this band is a face melting tenor sax, Jesse. See what you can do about that.

Jesse (March 10, 2005)

I will pick up an instrument. I'll pick up a tenor sax and shred your face off. I know music theory. Don't fuck with me, kid.

Anonymous (March 8, 2005)

you know what... fuck all you fucks. this record is amazing. so are half the other records that jesse douche bag reviews.

i'll be punk and quote chad price "if you think you know so much about music, let's see you pick up a fucking instrument"

jesse should eat his own shit. don't listen to him, he has an inferiority complex.

Anonymous (March 5, 2005)

Dead-on review. This is uninspiring 80s radio pop a la Sting or Duran Duran, only much more forgettable. It's a real stretch to call this post-hardcore or nu-emo or anything else relating to punk.

Anonymous (March 3, 2005)

the bronx will eat your baby.
-TOBB

Anonymous (March 1, 2005)

finally got the cd in the mail - not amazing, but still good.

and even if the bronx were on tarantulas, they still suck balls, so what is your point?

Anchors (March 1, 2005)

I've got a cd of theirs in my review pile, and I'm not looking forward to listening to that anymore.

Anonymous (February 28, 2005)

The Lot Six is easily the best band on Tarantula's (you can't really count the Bronx as being on the label)

Barkley

haggard1one (February 28, 2005)

stealing the name of a misfit song and the song sucks too. i dont know. my score is for the review

Anonymous (February 28, 2005)

does anyone have this or any of the bands other cds on soulseek? they're taking too long to send them to me. message me on there: superscenester is my username, i'll hook you up with massive files for this.

Anonymous (February 27, 2005)

Hey buddy, I explained it all very thoroughly. Besides, wrong thread. Bitch about this review in this thread. Bitch about the other review in its own thread.

-Jesse

Anonymous (February 27, 2005)

yes, but it is the one where you look like a little 12 year old bitch

Jesse (February 27, 2005)

Not the one I was talking about. Try again.

Anonymous (February 27, 2005)

High On Fire / Planes Mistaken For Stars - live in Chicago
Posted by Jesse on 2005-02-22 18:37:47
My Score:

1) Planes is Nu-Metal

What I actually said was:
"a smattering of crappy hard music that reminded me too much of nü-metal"
REMINDED me of nu-metal, didn't actually say it WAS nu-metal.

2) Looks are the most important thing in music

Hmmm:
"while they had the long and/or facial hair to be the most metal band I heard"
Can't take a joke, eh? Have you never read any of my reviews? Don't you know how much sarcasm I use?

3) I'm scared of those SCARY metal kids.

What I actually said:
"Especially when you're under 250, have no beard and your hair isn't past your shoulders? It's a scary place for outsiders, my friends."
Again, sarcasm.

4) I can't handle second hand smoke.

What I actually said:
"Plus, I was dying from all the second-hand smoke."
After being there for three and a half hours, yes, I was tired of the second hand smoke. Not being a dumbass smoker, and having concern for my own health, I felt like leaving.

5) I couldn't stay for the headlining band because it was past my bedtime and I had to go wait for my mom to pick me up outside (Don't worry, I had her pick me up around the corner so the scary metal kids wouldn't kick my ass)

Actually, I had a 45 minute train ride to catch, it was getting close to 1, and I had class at 9:30 the next morning. See, I'm college. I care about my education. I attempt to be responsible, especially since my classes start at 9:30 in the morning on Monday and run until 5:40. Speaking of which, I have another class to run off to.

Jesse (February 27, 2005)

I guess you didn't read the big long post I made in the PMFS review. Maybe if we don't pay attention to you, you'll just go away. I'm a staffer; I'm here for good. I don't see anyone complaining in my Summer's End review.

Anonymous (February 27, 2005)

i cant believe anyone gives this kid the time of day by reading his reviews. he's just an all around moron without even the slightest bit of credibility to go with his opinions. never mentions anything about the sound of the band, but just generalizes and makes bad copped out attempts to compare one band with another. then on top of that he can't handle criticisim of his awful reviews. check out his pussy 12 year response to everyone ragging on his planes mistaken for stars review. this kids an idiot...just quit responding to him and maybe he'll go away. all he goes for is a rise out of people anyway, but instead makes this site seem beyond amateur and just kind of stupid.

Anchors (February 26, 2005)

"I used to think names like Razor and The Edge were cool, but then I turned 12."

I can't remember where that's from, but fitting nonetheless.

Jesse (February 26, 2005)

Okay, here:

It specifically sucked more than most stuff I get.

Anonymous (February 26, 2005)

802 Burlington represent bitches!!! This album is quite awesome, although it did take some time to grow on me. Horrible review, how about some specifics?

MarkieStabone (February 26, 2005)

these guys are from OUT OF STATE

fullcollapse88 (February 26, 2005)

omg lyke they r fr0m my h0metown to0! reprezent! i mean, i totally understand the psychadelic furs comparison. i've seen these guys a few times, and they were at their best when they switched instruments and went hardcore, i believe at that point they called themselves through the wire.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

Wow, terrible review... Please someone kill this kid before he slaughters anymore albums or shows

jacobe (February 25, 2005)

Yet another shitty review from this person. I hope you don't think I comment just to talk shit on your reviews, but this is terrible.

You once again must think you are writing for Buddyhead.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

good band, they ARE FROM MY HOMETOWN

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

i like what ive heard from this band a lot, i saw them live 2 summers ago w/ afi/the explosion, good show, good band. still waiting for the cds in the mail though... i hate the usps

Jesse (February 25, 2005)

I can't believe I didn't title their link something funny.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

this album is awesome and catchy, stellar live show too

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

the old ep was great, though it sounded like richard butler could sue for them trying to steal his voice

BrandonSideleau (February 25, 2005)

Glenn Danzig should sue over the poor use of his song titles.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

Don't listen to this review. It is dead wrong. This album has some extremely interesting things to offer and goes far beyond the stuff bands similar like Interpol put out. The remixes at the end are also very cool and a really nice closer to an extremely solid album. Also, saying nothing sticks on this album is one of dumbest comments ever. There are beats and lyrics that will be in your head for days.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

You should've been more sarcastic with this one.

-Chinatown

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

The Edge ripped his guitar sound from Keith Levene of PiL!

-BSD

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

emo holocaust by death by stereo is a wonderful blast of noise.

Anonymous (February 25, 2005)

should be shot for stealiong teir name from the misfits and then releasing audio vomit like this. EMO HOLOCAUST!!!

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