I am cunt for write short reviews

To the person below me:

How about you write a review that's longer than three paragraphs for a less than 10 minute cd, you fucking retard.

Some Girls fucking kill.

Write longer reviews in future you cunt.

""This album is definitely something something to get while the getting’s good before they release their next full-length on Epitaph."

Too many somethings there..."

great,...that means this review actually has even less words..!!!!!!!! quick someone tell chinatown!!!!!!

- jones

"This album is definitely something something to get while the getting’s good before they release their next full-length on Epitaph."

Too many somethings there...

Chinatown: My brain tells me that you care a bit too much about the length and/or quality of my reviews. Nobody is forcing you to read them, really. It obviously doesn't take too long to read them so I guess I'm not wasting your time LOL.

Secondly:
1.) I'm not Scott.
2.) Some Girls is not Weezer.
3.) I'm still not Scott.
4.) I'm not oLd ScHOOl.
5.) The album was 6 minutes long.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, May 23, 2005 at 9:06 PM (EDT)
My Score:

This band is a disgrace to hardcore. Get them the fuck out.

Posted by iheartadam on 2005-05-23 17:08:20
My Score:

I think there are parasites in my stomach. I feel this burning, ticklish feeling all day.

don't blame the reviewer for being shitty, blame the website for worsening itself by posting this crap

Wow, Chinatown just reached a new low.

"Your reviews are too long"
"Your reviews are too short"
"You wrote too many reviews"

Fuck you.

Wow. I don't mind short reviews if I get an idea of what the release sounds like, however, after reading this, I have no idea what Some Girls sound like.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, May 23, 2005 at 8:58 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Hahahaha, Chinatown. You are such a jealous little biotch.

-sickboi

Chinatown....fuck off. What do you do for the site outside of be a dick? You are a good village asshole though, ill give you that much.

You like the yeah yeah yeahs BSD? I never expected that heh. Although it does make sense...Nicks guitar is nice, but Karen just pisses me off. Shes all show and no depth.

-!GreenVandal!

I love this band.

I'd agree that the review, while not too short IMO -- I've read some long reviews that say nothing and go nowhere, doesn't really describe the band's sound -- had I not bought 'All My Friends Are Going Death' I probably wouldn't pay attention to this band based on the review here (as opposed to the review of 'All My Friends...' which is what persuaded me to buy that album in the first place).

.Jack

Ooooookay, guys, let's all just take a minute and chill before we say something we can't take back.

Gee, the whole process took around 5 seconds...

Anyhow, I'm not the one who spent Christmas break writing review after review in hopes of being awarded a title as staffer.

-Chinatown

i like short reviews. i think they are far superior to long reviews

- jones

The fact that you went through the trouble of copy/pasting this to word, just to word count it for this one post, says you really need to find something better to do with your life.

And this also coming from the same kid who used to criticize my reviews.. for being too long.

And anyway, I think it's fair to see a band like Weezer gets a bit more coverage versus a band like Some Girls. I personally like Some Girls better, but what band is going to appeal to more people, and what album has been anticipated for 3 years? I'll give you a clue, nobody from American Nightmare appeared on it.

Sally_Field: My wordcheck tells me that the 3 reviews you copy/pasted add up to a grand total of 794 words. Scott's review of Weezer's Make Believe ran well over a thousand. The average length of a review by old-school staffers runs at around 600-700 words. Enough said.

-Chinatown

I find their sound to be great. You sound like those old cronies who raged against punk rock in the 70's; "Playing too disjointed! Wow, if music isn't played in a way that's expected and normal, it must all be a fashion show!"

-BSD

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are awful. If music dosen't sound good, it's not good.

Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-05-22 14:05:36
My Score:

"but this is admittedly a bit short (probably could've used a proof read, too).

It's fucking six minutes long! What more do you people want?"

i think...this is talking about the review?

and you are talking about the cd?

anyway, i like this

- jones

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are awesome, but usually taken out of context. They aren't supposed to be "garage rock revival"... They're simply a unique band with really interesting guitar work.

-BSD

This album title sounds like an episode of Maury.

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, May 22, 2005 at 1:04 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Fucking blows overrated Bane out of the water...

Posted by iheartadam on 2005-05-21 21:14:26
My Score:

Stop reviewing, please. I'd rather read an EMOHOLOCAUST incoherent rant.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, May 21, 2005 at 7:34 PM (EDT)
My Score:

All of her (still confused on if you are actually a girl by the way, not that its a big deal, I just dont know whether to call you him or her.) reviews are pretty much a perfect length if you ask me. If I wanted to read a book about the band covered in flowery language and ridiculous hipster metaphors Id go to fuckin pitchfork.

Sally writes good reviews....although I generally disagree. I like The Plot, but all those other bands aint to hot....and this doesnt sound like its very good to me. Ill give it a whirl.

Oh, and fuck the yeah yeah yeahs. (maps is good though)

-!Greenvandal!

See, you fucker? I'm not the only one.

Hey, I didn't forget Brian.

now i will admit that i do not review too much anymore (a full-time job will do that to you)

but i don't think this reviewer is very good at all

Did you sleep with Adam, Aubin or Scott (or all 3?) so you could be a staff reviewer??

Way to forget Brian!

Geez.

but this is admittedly a bit short (probably could've used a proof read, too).

It's fucking six minutes long! What more do you people want?

Julliana Hatfield is in a band called Some Girls. Band name is already taken.

I slept with Adam but i'm still not staff. We are getting hitched though.

I generally like to read and write shorter reviews, but this is admittedly a bit short (probably could've used a proof read, too).

This also sounds like fairly awful music. I never got into The Locust (though I do respect them) or Yeah Yeah Yeahs (never respect them).

"Did you sleep with Adam, Aubin or Scott (or all 3?) so you could be a staff reviewer?? "

HAHA.

I'd have to say Brian, actually.

Ten dollars says Ken owns an "I was there in '84, where were you?" shirt, is five feet tall, and probably nearly obese.

-BSD

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, May 20, 2005 at 10:51 PM (EDT)
My Score:

"A group comprised out of members from the Locust, Give Up The Ghost, the Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower and Unbroken really can".......just fuck right off.

Bye.

-Ken

Did you sleep with Adam, Aubin or Scott (or all 3?) so you could be a staff reviewer??

-Chris-

three words : worst album ever

31G keeps rejecting my card when I try to order this. I want it but they just won't let me.

lol!

As tempting as an analysis of Some Girls' credibility was, I decided against it last minute.

You got me there!

But the real question is, what's their credibility like?

"With most tracks barely longer than a minute long"

Bad English alert.

Posted by Nietzsche on 2005-05-20 16:01:27
My Score:

Ordered this last week, I'm psyched.
But damn, I can't believe these guys are already on Epitaph.

The EP is less than 7 minutes long. How fucking long to do you want the review to be?

I prefer shorter reviews. Its probably due to my ADD though.

Joe

Hey Chinatown!

I took your advice.
Here's my latest review.
Hope you like the length.

Alright. Let's just get everything out of our systems. Yes, Blake Sennet, Rilo's guitarist, was on "Salute Your Shorts." Yes, Jenny Lewis' side project is the Postal Service with Ben Gibbard. Yes, Jenny is a cute redhead. And yes, Jenny did kiss Fred Savage in the movie "The Wizard." Instead of thinking of such things upon hearing the name Rilo Kiley, one should think soley of their best release to date, The Execution Of All Things.

Only Rilo Kiley could make lyrics as simple as "All of our friends were gathered there with their pets just talking shit" sound beautiful and perfectly placed. The soft-spoken, hushed tone of Jenny's voice is the ideal way to open such an album. The folk, indie feel is consistent throughout the record, especially given the wide variety of instruments guests provide. The French horn, flute, keyboard, accordion, and cello all make appearances on The Execution Of All Things and add to the dream-like feel. Hell, even the way Jenny Lewis frequents the word "fuck" is beautiful. And that's just not a pretty word.

The imagery on this album is amazing; "In my dreams, I see myself hitting a baseball in a green field somewhere near a freeway. I'm all tan and smiling and running from third base." When written out, the lyrics look bland and awkward, yet the way Jenny's haunting voice projects them, they're irresistable. The Execution Of All Things is clearly a feel-good release, with still a little bit of self-deprecation, but nothing too overbearing. The album will have you partaking in the laid-back feel immediately.

Not only would The Execution Of All Things qualify as Rilo Kiley's best release to date, I'd also go out on a limb and dub it one of 2002's best releases of any kind.

A group comprised out of members from the Locust, Give Up The Ghost, the Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower and Unbroken really can do no wrong. Some Girls' latest release, The DNA Will Have Its Say, only provides more evidence to attest to this. In all of its six-minute glory.

Keeping in the habit of having amusing lyrics, The DNA Will Have Its Say has a lot of weird shit to offer; "Friends forever fucking each other’s fuck-friends," "Back home they think I’m queer, but no one’s yet to notice here," and "Hot boys with toys on their arms don’t mean no harm / They merely mean to impress, to show you what they undress." With an already amazing lineup, adding the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s Karen O. into the mixture for the album’s title song only adds to the chaotic hardcore punk sound Some Girls achieve.

With most tracks barely longer than a minute long, Some Girls haven’t tarnished their image from their full-length, All My Friends Are Going Death. The band’s ability to distance themselves from their other work is notable as well, having only a small amount of grind influence in their sound. They’ve even got bunnies and rainbows in their distinct and unique album art. This album is definitely something something to get while the getting’s good before they release their next full-length on Epitaph.

Part of me wants to say something sweet like "THUMBS UP! for GUNS UP!" But then the other part of me realizes that up and up don’t rhyme. They’re just the same word. So I’ll stick with saying that Guns Up!’s All This Is is one of the better hardcore albums released lately. Or hell, maybe I’m just impressed that it’s not metalcore.

I don’t know about a Madball comparison, but I can ensure you that Guns Up! has mastered straight-forward hardcore. And so soon, too. All This Is encompasses six new songs with three tracks from their out-of-print 7". Guns Up! will take you on a journey back to the simple, New York hardcore, untarnished by tight pants and melodic interludes.

The record’s first three tracks do a pretty decent job of summing up All This Is. “Abusive” vocals, breakdowns, animalistic growls, you know, the whole sheBANG (pun completely fucking intended). Whether opening a song with ”Yo, straight up. Hit this shit” or yelling ”Step the fuck back” after a minute-long build up, Guns Up! will have you wanting to participate in their intensity.

Face it, any up and coming hardcore band that gets to tour with Verse and Have Heart must have some credibility. And having the same man, Dean Baltulonis, who produced releases for Agnostic Front and No Warning, do their recording sure doesn’t hurt. Guns Up! are simply straight-forward hardcore, no bullshit. All This Is isn’t fleshed out with filler tracks, nor does it seem as if Guns Up! is trying to be something they’re not. And what they’re not, is a disappointment.

"chaotic hardcore punk"
just noticed that...
they still sound like a keyboard-less locust with wes singing to me

i hate to nitpick but this review says absolutely nothing about what the band sounds like. i know what they sound like, the first album was amazing, but if i didn't i would still have no clue what they sounded like. just saying...

I'm glad to hear this as as good as the Starting Line album.

OUCH! You got me there.

Seriously.
Get over it.

There's two 'somethings' in the last sentence or so.

- Kirby

How is she already a staffer? You'd have to combine three of her reviews to form one standard-length review.

-Chinatown

"They’ve even got bunnies and rainbows in their distinct and unique album art. "

yep, that about summarizes the quality of this review.

I'm glad to hear this as as good as the Starting Line album.

i downloaded this off Emusic last week. Pretty fucking cool record, shame its a bit short

I stand corrected.

-sickboi

I'm interested in hearing this, but where the fuck is the Bane review? I totally disagree with everything I've read, its a great album.

-sickboi