Clear Convictions

Clear Convictions: WarningWarning (2005)
Strike First

Reviewer Rating: 0.5

Contributed by: Erin_JacksonErin Jackson
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on May 27th 2005Warning: Clear Convictions is going to come to your house and jump on your mom's sofa. Then they're going to eat an entire jar of pickles and a block of cheese. At some point, they may mess up a stack of magazines. They're going to do all of this wearing their hats askew or on jaunty angles. Desp.

Warning: Clear Convictions is going to come to your house and jump on your mom's sofa. Then they're going to eat an entire jar of pickles and a block of cheese. At some point, they may mess up a stack of magazines. They're going to do all of this wearing their hats askew or on jaunty angles.

Despite what Strike First may have you believe, this is not a hardcore band. Their bad-boy posturing on the back of the album does not disguise the fact that they all look fourteen years old. The picture on the back of the inside booklet says it all: Five cute boys grin at the camera, giving it their best "Hi Grandma" smile.

All of the tracks sound the same, that is: equally bad. There's no point writing a point-by-point review, unless you want to know which track is the worst, and that is the title track. It sounds like Gwar, without being bad on purpose.

This CD has 12 gritty tracks that preach about the power of God and the band's convictions. It's the same thing over and over -- loud and growly Christian hardcore -- something that, thanks very much, the world has plenty of. Let's not even get into examining the oxymoron that is "Christian hardcore" and settle this debate by saying that if that's your cup of tea, you'll find better brews elsewhere.

Every time someone buys this CD, God kills a kitten. Please, think of the kittens.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

Anonymous (December 16, 2005)

the lord punishes envy my friend ;)

Anonymous (December 16, 2005)

hahahahaha how lame,i bet u still think green day is punk asswipe

Anonymous (June 13, 2005)

Fuck off!! I like the band!! And I like this album!!! Also, who cares 'bout the way they dress, or their "Hi grandmah" faces. They are a great band. So, FUCK OFF!! Go and listen to your crappy "American Hi-Fi" Bullshit, and let these guys do their thing.

Anonymous (June 10, 2005)

just curious - how is christian hardcore music an oxymoron?

to me, i thought oxymorons were things like, why do kamakazi pilots wear helmets, orr stop signs painted green and shit

just wonderin ;)

Anonymous (June 2, 2005)

this guy doesn't know shit about hardcore. and what's up whit the image is that something sooooo important to you? and finally what's wrong with them singing about their belifs?? everybody does so, but when it comes to talk about chrisitianity nobody can do it.

and i'm not a christian if that's what u think.

Anonymous (June 2, 2005)

dude below...

no, "christian fuckgodcore" would be an oxymoron because the words actually contradict each other, whereas "christian hardcore" is just silly. i fear this will never end...

Anonymous (May 29, 2005)

Wow... Inagreendase, you totally called it.

OC

Anonymous (May 28, 2005)

this shitty review actually made me go out and listen to this band. just because something is "christian" does not make anything better or worse. they remind me of old throwdown. i happen to think its kinda cool. dont like his voice though.

Anonymous (May 28, 2005)

lol christian hardcore is Such an oxymoron...and ur first paragraph was great! hahaha

Anonymous (May 27, 2005)

Score is for the first paragraph of the review.

Anonymous (May 27, 2005)

kittens are gonna DIE DIE DIE!

Anonymous (May 27, 2005)

heard it, it sucks, went on the toilet and made a pile of shit there...

inagreendase (May 27, 2005)

OC: the latter, always, especially in the case where a band is panned this low, because then you, the listener, will be intrigued to listen and see for yourself just how bad it really is. And besides, it's still a way of getting your name out there easy.

Anonymous (May 27, 2005)

Here's a question: is it better to review an album like this and give it a bad score (but give it internet exposure), or to completely ignore it (but risk have people buy it accidentally encourage them)?

OC