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The only thing more cliché than groups like One Way Letter are their collective press releases. Each time I see the first paragraph of said self-esteem boasters dropping words like “unique,” “distinctive,” “fresh,” and other thesaurus counterparts mixed with the term "emo" I begin fantasizing giving my ears the Van Gogh treatment. I will not tease One Way Letter too much, as they do add a new element to the Taking Back Sunday cover band discography; in this case, they engage the panache of a female vocalist, and all this does is remove a sentence from my review where I would comment on how the lead singer sounded like a female anyways. Despite the fluctuation in the vocal tone the lyrics and song titles on Where Everybody Knows Your Name are expected and pitiful.

"Don’t lift a finger / I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way for me / I’ve only spent the last 3 years breaking my neck for you / so just let me down easy” is a sample slice from “Her Voice Was Full Of Money.” Similarly ridiculous lyrics prevail on tracks “Hospitals Aren’t So Hospitable,” “Counselor Of The Left Handed Boys Camp” as well as every other forgettable number on the Negative Progression debut. The prime example of OWL's “powerful lyrics” glisten on the closer “…And The Survey Says:” "So just for the record / I’m not going to college / My words are better fit when I spit them out on stage / and my clothes are better fit when I wear them slightly tighter."

…All of this stunning material coming from a band who prides themselves on their lyrical abilities -- and I’m not even getting started on the album title! 10 points for the band name acronym though.

The only saving grace for One Way Letter would be that there’s no "screamer" to fight with Selena Langley’s strong voice to front their sub-par Brand New guitar hooks and melodies.






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    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, February 26, 2006 at 10:52 AM (EST)
    My Score:

    The person that wrote this review is a fucking idiot. One way letter is amazing. Love you selena. Nick

    Posted by rehds109 on 2005-12-12 04:54:13
    My Score:

    kirby....r u on crack....this album is amazing....selena's voice is gorgeous....the lyrics are so easy to relate to it has helped me get through a lot of tough relationships....if you are a fan of emotional music and want a breath of fresh air get this....IMMEDIATELY!!!!

    Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 3:19 AM (EDT)

    "The album's name is kind of ripping off "where no body knows your name" the alexisonfire song isnt it? I think it is but thats just me"

    Ever heared of Cheers, moron? I'd say it's more of a rip off to copy the actual name of something instead of kind of copying the name of something. I think it is but thats just me... Shitty album too. And Kirby, I want to father your children. Keep it up dude

    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, June 22, 2005 at 2:43 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    One Way Letter is simply awesome and the girl has a great voice

    none of you know anything about music. you are the type of kids who don't like a band because they sound like other bands or beacuse others like it or beacuse your jealous. stupid shit man

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, June 7, 2005 at 1:30 PM (EDT)

    it was an enemy you song before it was an alexisonfire song

    Posted by Trailer on 2005-06-06 14:44:34
    My Score:

    you are all fucking idiots.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, June 5, 2005 at 3:27 PM (EDT)

    shitty album

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, June 5, 2005 at 12:09 AM (EDT)

    The album title reminds me of the Cheers theme song.

    Posted by CherryColaRain on 2005-06-04 22:56:27

    The album's name is kind of ripping off "where no body knows your name" the alexisonfire song isnt it? I think it is but thats just me

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, June 4, 2005 at 2:36 PM (EDT)

    one way letters is the name of an old mock orange song

    Posted by Big_Guy on 2005-06-04 00:16:37

    "the cover looks too much like face to face's big choice cover"

    "I thought the same thing when i first saw it"

    Yeah, definitely

    Posted by Inspection12e on 2005-06-03 17:59:23

    Sounds Kinky.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 5:19 PM (EDT)

    Yea Kirby sucks. Fuck that dude.

    I'll meet you outback.

    - Kirby

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 2:52 PM (EDT)

    "the cover looks too much like face to face's big choice cover"

    I thought the same thing when i first saw it

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-06-03 14:28:24

    As soon as 13 year old goths from the suburbs stop buying Senses Fail albums at hot topic to rebel against the curfew their parents imposed.

    Posted by phdecontrol on 2005-06-03 13:38:24

    Sweet jesus those lyrics make me want to "cut my wrists and black my eyes" heh heh. Oh god. I hate these kinds of bands, and I hate bands like Hawthorne Hights just as much. Good review Kirby, this shit deserves to be treated like shit. When will labels learn to stop signing these cliched knock-offs...

    Posted by Inspection12e on 2005-06-03 11:22:23
    My Score:

    Yea Kirby sucks. Fuck that dude.

    Posted by Anchors on 2005-06-03 11:16:06

    To the kid below, in the words of Micheal Jackson;

    "That's ignorant. Stop, you're being igorant."

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 10:52 AM (EDT)

    I'd like to commend this site for including at least 2 screamo reviews a week that bash the shit out of this utter garbage. Way to do your part in getting rid of this shit genre.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 10:06 AM (EDT)

    Finally I'm generating some 'haters' around here.

    Life is now complete.

    - Kirby

    Posted by XmeepX on 2005-06-03 08:49:10

    im glad somebody insulted kirby by saying you suck at life... faggot@!

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 8:37 AM (EDT)

    the cover looks too much like face to face's big choice cover

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 8:36 AM (EDT)

    Hey now.. I like Kirby, and I hate this kind of crap.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, June 3, 2005 at 12:50 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    this sucks, but not as much as kirby sucks at life. once again, please die and stop writing. you're not funny.