International Businessmen

International Businessmen: The FormulaThe Formula (2004)
Rumble Gulley

Reviewer Rating: 0.5

Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on June 7th 2005The only thing more boring than having to listen to crappy music is having to review it. Yes, it is my duty to sit in front of a glowing computer screen with a cup of coffee and tell you how bad these bands are so you don't have to experience them yourself. Yes, it is true. It is my duty to suffer t.

The only thing more boring than having to listen to crappy music is having to review it. Yes, it is my duty to sit in front of a glowing computer screen with a cup of coffee and tell you how bad these bands are so you don't have to experience them yourself. Yes, it is true. It is my duty to suffer through all thirty-six minutes of International Businessmen's The Formula. And even though I lost the press sheet in the move from Chicago to Minneapolis, I do remember something referring to them as a mix between Yellowcard and Trapt. Ouch. It's like I didn't have to do any work trashing this band -- they actually hired someone to do it for me.

That being said, International Businessmen actually reminds me more of a bastardization of mid-90's Blink-182 and Millencolin. Remember when you were in middle school and you loved Blink because your older brother had it and they sang about dicks and poop? Remember then after that wanting more depth to your music and hearing your brother's Millencolin CD and thinking that all the different melodies and harmonies were pretty cool? No? Well, maybe that was just me. But I never owned albums from either of those bands, and I'm glad about that now.

Shitty melodic mid-tempo "punk" is over, my friends. Didn't somebody give these chump-monkeys the memo? They better grab some eyeliner quick and sing about inner turmoil and pain. Wow. This album could be one for the record books as receiving the lowest possible score I could give it. In other words, I would give it less than half a star if I could.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

Anonymous (June 14, 2005)

This band sounds nothing like Trapt, Yellow Card or Blink 182. I'd like to think that Punknews.org hires writers that actually listen to a broad range of music. I will agree this album is somewhat of a Poser album for I.B. but that is just coming from a some what long time fan. I believe their lyrics on The Formula are a far cry from "poop and dicks" though... I actually thought this record was a little to serious for them. To me, they represent a good time without talk of politix, death or chix. I'd like to think they might still believe in good ol rock n' roll? How long is the Story of the Year bandwagon gonna last anyway? that was a rhetorical question.. so dont answer!

Jesse (June 11, 2005)

Actually the statement was intended to be slightly sarcastic, encouraging the band to find a new trend to ride instead of the pop punk one because pop punk is lacking in radio and popularity compared to "screamo."

darkstarm (June 10, 2005)

"Shitty melodic mid-tempo "punk" is over, my friends. Didn't somebody give these chump-monkeys the memo? "

Now Jesse your reviews are normally pretty spot on but this statement leaves me a little baffled. This makes you sound no better than the people who say, "God, Ska's been dead since 1998, fag." If someone wants to play a style of music, let them play it, and chances are at least a little of it will be good. Don't just write off a whole genre.

Unless I misunderstood your statement or something.

Anonymous (June 10, 2005)

Do you remember watching your older brother's dick when he pooped on your blink 182 cd's and thinking how sad it made you? Then you'd probably love this record.

CherryColaRain (June 9, 2005)

Milencollin are listenable and maybe their music is out dated now but can still kick some ass. I didn't like this band, i didn't execpt to like it either. this score is for the dude with the online lisp.

Anonymous (June 8, 2005)

"Worth review ever.
Where does punknews.org hire its reviewers?"

Wow, never seen an online lisp before.

prankish (June 8, 2005)

Another review in which you talk more about yourself than the band.

Icapped2pac (June 8, 2005)

"Worth review ever.
Where does punknews.org hire its reviewers?"

Please stop coming to this site then. Obviously, there are better ones out there that you could be reading.

Jesse (June 8, 2005)

They actually found me on the banks of the Ganges.

Anonymous (June 8, 2005)

Worth review ever.
Where does punknews.org hire its reviewers?

Anonymous (June 7, 2005)

Ah the irony is naming this cd "The Formula."

Anonymous (June 7, 2005)

jesse die.

bannedinct (June 7, 2005)

why would you even bring up trapt in your own press release?

Anonymous (June 7, 2005)

Don't fuck with Millencolin, Jesse. You've been warned.

-sickboi