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The Number Twelve Looks Like You

Nuclear. Sad. Nuclear. (2005)
Eyeball Records

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Contributed by: Dan Perrone
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on June 21st 2005

Damnit. I hate being let down. I suppose I could end the review there, but then this never get posted, would it?

New Jersey’s own the Number Twelve Looks Like You, newly signed to Eyeball Records, have become one of the country’s forefront “nü-grind” bands since the release of their debut monster, Put On Your Rosy Red Glasses. After about two years of minimal action, word escaped that the band had signed to a new label, was putting out a teaser EP, and, ultimately, Nuclear. Sad. Nuclear., the album currently under scrutiny. Calling me excited would be quite the understatement, especially concerning the overall quality of “Clarissa Explains Cuntainment” and “Like A Cat,” so naturally I expected this to be quite the behemoth of an album. Some would say that I dug my own grave with my high hopes; I’ll let you be the judge of that.

At first glance, everything on Nuclear. Sad. Nuclear. seems to be intact: the shrieking dual vocals by people who sound as if they really do want your fucking blood, rapid-fire drumming and double bass, and swirling, noodling guitars, ready to stop on a dime and play something completely contrary to what they had previously been performing with exact precision. So what’s the deal? Here’s how I choose to analyze the situation: I feel as if the band has gotten increasingly self-aware, resulting from the insane amounts of attention they have received as of late. When you talked about nü-grind, you talked about the Number Twelve. Their shows were packed. They’ve got a new label. It all fits. But the kicker, however, is how drastically their musical performance has changed. Read on.

The album starts off with an absolute bang, which was to be expected. The opening triumvirate of “The Devil’s Dick Disaster,” “Texas Dolly,” and “Clarissa Explains Cuntainment” is pretty much unparalleled as far as all sub-genres of hardcore music goes. However, as Nuclear. Sad. Nuclear. progresses, the music actually digresses. The middle of the album feels about an hour long, book-ended by two five-plus minute pieces, the latter of which being “Remembrance Dialogue” is downright offensive. It’s a seven-minute “epic” of a three-minute minimalist introduction and four more minutes of a boring riff being built up to something which is supposed to resemble a climax, but instead comes off as the same boring riff, only played at full power. It doesn’t help that the only lyric appears to be “This is our remembrance dialogue,” which adds to the boredom. So much could have been done to make this song great, but it feels as if they band dragged their feet with this one. The same can go for the overall slowed-down feel of the album, with more focus on brooding solos and instrumentation than vicious brutality, which the band had pretty much perfected. The band has lost their focus, and it is extremely obvious, as well as extremely disappointing.

To be brutally honest, the last third of the album is so unimpressive that I have tried to pick up on what makes each song stand out, and been stymied thus far, forgetting the songs five minutes later, remembering only that the closer, “Catagory,” starts off strong but succumbs into a faux-dance beat and a two-minute acoustic outro which sounds rather lame.

This album doesn’t completely suck. There are some obviously spectacular standouts, but the glaring defects are too much to ignore. It’s downright aggravating how disappointing this album is, especially considering how strongly it starts off. Nothing more can be said besides the fact that the Number Twelve Looks Like You have gotten extremely self-conscious, and their music has suffered as a result. It doesn’t suck, but you could look elsewhere.

Standout Tracks:
“The Devil’s Dick Disaster”
“Texas Dolly”
“Clarissa Explains Cuntainment”
“Like A Cat”

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xFreezyx (March 5, 2007)

gocheck out early napalm death, carcass or pig destroyer.

And tntlly is pseudo-grind? Fuck you. Those bands fucking suck. Aside from pig destroyer's lyrics, they suck. Listen to real grind like Nailshitter you fucking cock wrangler.

xFreezyx (March 5, 2007)

gocheck out early napalm death, carcass or pig destroyer.

And tntlly is pseudo-grind? Fuck you. Those bands are fucking suck. Aside from pig destroyer's lyrics, they suck. Listen to real grind like Nailshitter you fucking cock wrangler.

radicalwhore (February 4, 2007)

it seems half the people on this site don't even know what music is.

Anonymous (August 10, 2005)

What a fucking gay ass review.. This album is far from sucking.. Its not that its worse then the ep. Its just different.. But in a good way..

Nothings wrong with it.. A little slower paced then the other one but its still a great album by a talented band..

Fuck you..

Anonymous (August 6, 2005)

i seriously don't understand how any of you that are hating on this album, to base your interests off of their debut.

their EP was an obvious sign that they were changing their music style from less grindcore and more jazzcore. this album has way more instrumental talent than poyrrg. it may not be as fast or grind, but it's stil fucking good.

and to those dykes that bitch about their band name and their screaming, thanks for giving it a listen, but don't hate on the fucking band, no one asked you to say "wow what a gay name" because no one gives two shits what you hate.

asdf (June 23, 2005)

I forgot to mention... the website is www.itsnumber12time.com
not
www.itsnumbertwelvetime.com

asdf (June 23, 2005)

Great CD. I've listened to it about 30 times since i got it... just like i did when i got their EPs

Anonymous (June 23, 2005)

"That makes no sense... do you prefer bands that don't try hard?Should a band always be conscious of their level of trying? Mainting a good Try vs. Not Try balance can be difficult...Idiot..."

no, there's a difference between trying and naturally putting out music, and trying too hard to fit in a certain style. witness the band name, song titles, album title, and most of all the music, everything stinks of this band trying so hard to fit in with the pseudo-grind/chaotic hardcore scene. they would be better naturally just making music instead of trying so damn hard to fit under a category.

etwiels88 (June 23, 2005)

Posted by inagreendase on 2005-06-21 21:07:55

Learn how to spell. Dumbas.

Tell me this was intentional. Please.

Yeah...

The name is Dumas....
What a dumbass.

TheSneak (June 23, 2005)

this band tries WAY too hard.
That makes no sense... do you prefer bands that don't try hard?Should a band always be conscious of their level of trying? Mainting a good Try vs. Not Try balance can be difficult...Idiot...

theundergroundscene (June 22, 2005)

it's from the twilight zone

soulbleed (June 22, 2005)

isn't this band's name taken from a movie?

Anonymous (June 22, 2005)

this band tries WAY too hard.

Kenjamin (June 22, 2005)

Yea I hear that. Still good rootbeer is good rootbeer.

Anonymous (June 22, 2005)

Someone told me this sounds like Drowingman...if so, I'm there. I don't give a fuck "Don't push us when we're hot" will be the album of the year.

----Travis

theundergroundscene (June 22, 2005)

ibc is great, but have you ever gotten it at a restaurant?

they totally fuck you

you get the bottle instead of a glass and its a dollar more and NO FREE REFILLS

ughhhhhhh

Kenjamin (June 22, 2005)

mug root beer. Personally I'm an IBC or a Boylan's man. I know I'm beurgoise.

stevejonestherealbones (June 22, 2005)

haha. what was that a commercial for?

Anchors (June 21, 2005)

The name, is Dumas.

inagreendase (June 21, 2005)

Learn how to spell. Dumbas.

Tell me this was intentional. Please.

Anonymous (June 21, 2005)

No no, it's "nucular."

etwiels88 (June 21, 2005)

"Posted by Anonymous on 2005-06-21 12:46:39

i didnt see any name dropping in that comment. it was simply offering an alternative to this garbage. dumbas. learn how to read. it must be the wonderful american educational system"

Learn how to spell. Dumbas. And anyone who reads this review and knows anything about grind is going to know about the bands you mentioned...so just shut up.

And the first sentence of this review is on key. Simple as that. I heard a few tracks from it and it just didn't live up to my expectations.

stevejonestherealbones (June 21, 2005)

gay

- jones the bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com

SilentStorms (June 21, 2005)

IT'S A FUCKING BAND NAME ... deal with it you damn whiners.

Anonymous (June 21, 2005)

stupidest fucking name ever

slippy (June 21, 2005)

The link to their website doesn't work.

pwfanatic (June 21, 2005)

i kinda like this stuff.

moneenerd (June 21, 2005)

THE #12 is bad. Real bad. The screaming in this is unbearable.

Nietzsche (June 21, 2005)

Brutal Review, I honestly enjoyed most of the album, even Rememberance Dialogue.

And The Proud Parent's Convention At The E.R. was a really strong song, I thought.

Anonymous (June 21, 2005)

i didnt see any name dropping in that comment. it was simply offering an alternative to this garbage. dumbas. learn how to read. it must be the wonderful american educational system

Inspection12e (June 21, 2005)

Didn't care for the eps. That cover they did was terrible.

rkl (June 21, 2005)

why is it namedropping to mention good bands? its not like the poster is saying "i hung out with carcass, pig destroyer, napalm death."(which is what namedropping actually is, you fucking moron.)

he/she is simply offering an alternative to this crap. id rather hear wake up and smell the carcass any day, if only to hear "corporate rock really sucks" on repeat

pwfanatic (June 21, 2005)

VVV way to name drop the bands everyone has heard of. thanks champ!!!

Anonymous (June 21, 2005)

what the fuck is up with this bands name? seriously, band names are getting out of control. and if you want some excellent gring, gocheck out early napalm death, carcass or pig destroyer.

theundergroundscene (June 21, 2005)

aw, brian

you came through

bizzlebrizzle (June 21, 2005)

nu-grind!

Seriously, tech. metal != grind