The Jonbenet - The Plot Thickens (Cover Artwork)

The Jonbenet

The Jonbenet: The Plot ThickensThe Plot Thickens (2005)
Pluto Records

Reviewer Rating: 3.5

Contributed by: InaGreendaseBrian
(others by this writer | submit your own)

The Plot Thickens, the JonBenét's Pluto debut, forgoes new material for a look at the early material of the Houston-based band. It compiles the songs from their split with the Kidnap Soundtrack and their Five Stories Retold EP, and if you're at all familiar with the band, you already know what this.
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The Plot Thickens, the JonBenét's Pluto debut, forgoes new material for a look at the early material of the Houston-based band. It compiles the songs from their split with the Kidnap Soundtrack and their Five Stories Retold EP, and if you're at all familiar with the band, you already know what this means. If not: Lots of enjoyable, overly competent Blood Brothers biting, basically.

In order to highlight the progression here, it's best to first talk about the last 5 tracks on Plot, aptly categorized as 'Chapter I.' These are the Five Stories Retold tracks, and show the band at their most raw but seething with potential. It was originally reviewed back last year here, so there isn't much else to say except that aside from its cliché-induced songwriting in "Stolen Home, Stolen Home," Chapter I's got sass, vigor, energy, intensity, bold tempo changes, and even some smooth handclaps in "Eleventh Century Folklore," all rather amiable traits if not very obviously borderline theft of the Blood Brothers.

It's in the first three songs on the disc however in Chapter II that we find the band starting to slide into a more original niche. These are the split songs that the band recorded only five months after the Stories tracks, and yet the production is better and the JonBenét has immediately taken a few leaps and bounds creatively. The opener, "Eating Lightning Pt I" relies on some weaving bass lines and bouncy guitar chords with some near-growling at points, even though it's also got a part in the early goings where they repetitively chant "this street goes on forever," and it sounds like a displaced moment from "Burn Piano Island Burn" or "USA Nails." Some Southern-flavored guitars are scattered around what's probably the standout track, the rather dynamic "Dramarama," which also has a streaming, more melodic chorus utilized nicely.

While Chapter I of The Plot Thickens is certainly an enjoyable albeit unoriginal section of tunes, Chapter II of The Plot Thickens is vivid proof the JonBenét are well aware of their faults, and are acting quickly to correct them. If progression can occur this quickly, a more-than-solid debut full-length is certainly in the works from the outfit.

Eating Lightning Pt I
Behold, The White Whore


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Silas (September 27, 2007)

I'm sorry, but Ken's comment made me choke on my water.

And let me get the obvious immature comments out of the way for internet dwellers.

"Yeah, I bet you choke on dick too."
"Yeah, I bet you choke on cum too."
"Hey, asshole above, were you talking to me?!"
"No, I was talking about that Silas kid, dickweed."
"Oh, brah, harsh, fuck your mother and choke on shit from a penguin."

And any other variations.

dangertrevor (June 21, 2006)

Fell in love with this band last summer, loved every one of those eight little tracks on there. :D

hitlerbadzakgood (October 27, 2005)

haha! the ramones wore tight mens jeans in every single picture i've ever seen them in. i dont think i've ever seen a picture of them wearing anything but.

Anonymous (July 31, 2005)

i would go see Bludgeoned to Shit

Anonymous (July 28, 2005)

It's just a fact, though, that the Sex Pistols and Ramones didn't wear girl jeans. Tight pants? No doubt, it was the 70's. But wearing girl jeans entails something totally different.

And I heard this band a couple of months ago. Sorry for the mis-statement about their "sexual habits". They just sounded like a bunch of hacks making crap noise.


Anonymous (July 28, 2005)

They should change their name to "My parents bludgeoned me to shit with golf clubs and then lied to the cops". Actually "Bludgeoned to Shit" would be a good grind band name.


Anonymous (July 28, 2005)

Hey BSD...S my D. The Sex Pistols and The Ramones both reportedly wore girls jeans from time to time, as did just about every band with tight pants. A lot of the bondage pants and shit like that the British bands were wearing were modified girls jeans. I understand if you don't like their stuff, but I can assure you they ARE making music, thus making your comment about them needing to stop being hacks pretty useless. As far as their sexual habits are concerned...you are so far off it's laughable.

Oh and with regards to the name: I hope you hate bands like Ed Gein solely because of their name as well...it's the same shit. "The JonBenet" sure got your attention didn't it?

etwiels88 (July 27, 2005)

Whoever said that this band was stealing Daughters' style must not listen to Daughters much. I'd say they are more like Blood Brothers & Fear Before The March of Flames than anything.

Albums worth a few spins if you're into either of those bands.

Anonymous (July 27, 2005)

"Punk bands have been wearing girl pants since the 70's"

Not really. Not at all, actually. It was mostly party-metal assholes who played dress up in the 70's. Unless you count the New York Dolls, who were drag queens.

"Oh, The JonBenet! Isn't that that girl whose parents murdered her!? How EDGY!!!"

Fuck this shit. Once again. Band depends on concept over quality.

Make some fucking music, you useless hacks. Until then, stop using this as an excuse to fuck girls with emo hair.


Anonymous (July 27, 2005)

Punk bands have been wearing girl pants since the 70's, anyone citing that as a reason to not like this band can kiss my ass. And to whoever thinks they sound like Daughters...please die. If you honestly can not tell the difference between this band and Daughters you do not deserve to be breathing my air.

I want to make babies with Drew.

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

oh good. more SASS. who the fuck decided to start using "sassy" to describe screaming in girl pants?

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

i would rather listen to the plot sickens by his hero is gone.

rkl (July 26, 2005)

what i remember from houston shows was a bunch of kids in ramones t-shirts, hugging the wall.

sickboi (July 26, 2005)

If they got their name from where I think they did, that's fucking lame. Trying to stir up a fresh batch of controversy to make a name for yourself off the fate of a dead little girl? That's Wack-Arnolds.

Of course, the name could mean something else, and I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

(PS - Daughters called, they'd like their sound back please)

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

Good review. Take the time to listen to their mp3 downloads. These guys are really good. Check out their tour and local (Houston) shows and you will see just how good a band they are. Great live shows!

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

comment was very much necessary.

SilentStorms (July 26, 2005)

That comment seems a little unnecessary.

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

i'm thinking these guys probably wear female pantalones. anyone want to pitch in buy them some training bras? because they need all the support they can get.

SilentStorms (July 26, 2005)

I called. I said these guys are sick, but not vomit inducing.

lou (July 26, 2005)

marilyn manson called, he wants his shtick back.

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

um...lemme try

Dude, change the name of your band...was conor Peterson taken?

-mark bellhorn

Anonymous (July 26, 2005)

dude name change is in order here. was The ElianGonzalez taken? mad props on the bore-core/snore-core/fashion-core style however.

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