Instant Camera

Instant Camera: Alive On DepartureAlive On Departure (2004)
Wall to Wall

Reviewer Rating: 0.5

Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on August 21st 2005When I think of Louisville, I think of Sluggers. And Lords. And Coliseum. Do I think of mediocre synth-pop acts? Hell naw. Louisville is a place for hard hitters -- namely baseball bats and metal/hardcore acts. But here come Instant Camera, another half-assed indie band with a name just plain enough.

When I think of Louisville, I think of Sluggers. And Lords. And Coliseum. Do I think of mediocre synth-pop acts? Hell naw. Louisville is a place for hard hitters -- namely baseball bats and metal/hardcore acts. But here come Instant Camera, another half-assed indie band with a name just plain enough to be slightly obscure and an album title that is a delightful play on words! Hooray! Move on over Guided By Voices! Take a hike (insert random indie rock group name)! Instant Camera is taking over!

Yeah, taking over the title of the most mediocre album I've ever heard in my life. Up-tempo four chords, two-note keyboard lines, boring, generic vocals. Fake surf-guitar riffs. I could have done without those.

There's nothing that separates Instant Camera from the pack. It's the same band you've seen trying to win the battle of the bands at your neighborhood college. They try to bring the rock, but instead they just bring whatever they grew up listening to and smushed it all together into one huge generic indie rock pie. Is it horrible? Naw. Is it listenable? Nope. So what do we do with it? I've got $5 says that I can dig out that Cal Ripken, Jr. Signature Model from the garage and get some pleasure out of testing the durability of a Compact Disc.

Now, some of you might be thinking that I'm being a little too harsh. Well, you're probably right. By all means this band deserves around a five. That's what mediocre deserves, right? A 4-5? But alas, my grading scale is slightly different. Mediocrity is what is killing music right now, and this latest offense isn't forgivable.

Death to shitty music.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

Anonymous (September 13, 2005)

why dont you stop with the criticizing reviews jess, maybe you WILL be the rock god you always dreamed of as a child. its not too late! stop taking it out on real talent that you havnt yet acquired, vhs-or-beat-it!!!
as for you ins-cam, i live in this home town of louisville, and ive heard not only good, but amaiZING comments on the cd, and at yr shows! keep on PLEASE! looking forward to another cd soon!
obviously jess is infatuated with yall, he cant shut up about you!

Anonymous (September 6, 2005)

Mediocrity must be ....Jesse!

Anonymous (September 6, 2005)

What rock did Jesse crawl out from under?

Jesse (August 27, 2005)

Now, THAT'S good satire.

Anonymous (August 26, 2005)

Hey Jesse! You fucking rule. Literally and artistically you are one of the best reviewers I have ever seen. Praising and commending is reviewing, it takes talent. I understand though; you probably have a real large brain and have to get some of that joy out from constantly being asked by your boyfriend, "is it not in yet?"
By the way, I think Instant Camera is terrible.... and they put on a dead show less weak than least any I have ever seen. In opening, you're a genius.

Anonymous (August 26, 2005)

My name is mud

Anonymous (August 25, 2005)

M.T. Langless from Instant Camera here, and guess what - even I THINK WE SUCK!!!

Can't whoop me though.

Jesse (August 25, 2005)

Well, number one: we have editors to take care of grammar problems, so you're wrong about me having bad grammar. Number two: just because they're your favorite shitty local band doesn't mean they're good in the scheme of things.

Anonymous (August 25, 2005)

Hey Jesse! You fucking suck. Grammatically and creatively you are one of the worst reviewers I have ever seen. Bitching and sniping isn't reviewing, it takes no talent. I understand though; you probably have a real small dick and have to get some of that anger out from constantly being asked by your girlfriend, "is it in yet?"
By the way, I think Instant Camera is incredible.... and they put on a live show more fierce than most any I have ever seen. In closing, you're a douche.

Jesse (August 24, 2005)

You mean "thought." That review was published March 30th, 2004. It's August 24, 2005 right now. Well over a year old.

Anonymous (August 24, 2005)

to jesse: i think your review is too critical of the record. When I first heard it, I as well thought it was only o.k. however, it's one of those records that reveals its beauty and playfulness the more you listen to it. i'm pretty sure you only listened to it once. give it another chance, man! plus: you're calling I.S. another one of those mediocre indie outfits - but you seem to think totally average sounding indie like death cab for cutie deserves a 9-10? set your ears straight, dogg!!

Sirens (August 23, 2005)

my girlfriend tought me how to suck a mean dick.

Jesse (August 23, 2005)

"Alls I know is Jesse is the man, and im sucking his dick."

"In regards to the last comment- represent. I, and hopefully the majority of those who post on this site, back that 100%."

Wow. Not sure you intended that one, but anyway, thanks. Always nice to know that there's a line to perform fellatio on me.

Anonymous (August 22, 2005)

In regards to the last comment- represent. I, and hopefully the majority of those who post on this site, back that 100%.

Sirens (August 22, 2005)

Alls I know is Jesse is the man, and im sucking his dick.

jamespastepunk (August 22, 2005)

When I said 4-5, I meant out of the 10 point scale. That's easily misinterpreted. We rock a 10 point scale represented by 5 stars.

I know. Therefore, a 4 point review would be 2 stars, and a 5 point review would be 2.5. Perhaps you were making a joke I missed.

Anonymous (August 22, 2005)

Death to shitty reviewers... nuff said.

Anonymous (August 22, 2005)

Hey man.. did you even listen to this record? or did you just bury it cause it didnt immediately sound like some slayer knockoff or other emo-hardcore shit that you guys seem to specialize in...!!

Jesse (August 22, 2005)

When I said 4-5, I meant out of the 10 point scale. That's easily misinterpreted. We rock a 10 point scale represented by 5 stars.

jamespastepunk (August 22, 2005)

Isn't a 4-5 point review given out to something at least has artistic merit and something that will keep you coming back, even if the rest of the CD is horrible?

Anywho, if you are going to go at it with a baseball bat, then it probably is worth the .5 star.

Sirens (August 22, 2005)

I love how half the people on this bored argue about too many 5 star reviews, the other half complain about 1/2 star reviews.

Anonymous (August 21, 2005)

Half-star reviews > The Emancipation Proclamation

Anonymous (August 21, 2005)

Jesse > Abraham Lincoln

Jesse (August 21, 2005)

Jesus. I have a hard time taking some of these comments seriously. I'm used to getting bashed for my 1 star reviews. Looks like Instant Camera is no one's favorite band.

Russe11 (August 21, 2005)

Haha Whenever i see a half star Jesse review I know I'm in for a treat. Amen.

Anonymous (August 21, 2005)

Jesse is the king of the world.

Anonymous (August 21, 2005)

Score's for Camera Obscura.

slippy (August 21, 2005)

Awesome Jesse.

LevitateMe (August 21, 2005)

Jesse is the king of half-star reviews

stevejonestherealbones (August 21, 2005)

half fucking star...oohhhhh, instant camera got moded

- jones the bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com