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HORSE the Band

The Mechanical Hand
2005
Combat

HORSE the Band - The Mechanical Hand (Cover Artwork)

Review by: Brian
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Published on October 7th 2005

Can one's tongue be shoved so far into one's cheek that it pierces the skin?

If so, HORSE the Band needs to take a surgeon on tour with them.

The Mechanical Hand is the sophomore effort from the Nintendocore ambassadors, and a definite step up from the cult phenom debut, R. Borlax. The record finds the band delving even further into experimentation coupled with a stronger sense of melody. The gimmicky but way too fun portion of the band's sound is as prominent as ever on the record and the theme runs even stronger, but it all works well within the band's everchanging dynamics.

Lead singer Nathan Winneke's voice still isn't particularly impressive, as he still sounds like he's singing constantly verklempt; it's a surprise the vocals make it past his teeth it sounds like they're clenched so tight. This is especially notable in the lead track "Birdo," a song written as an ode to Birdo, the egg-spitting, gender-confused dinosaur-like sort-of villain creature from what North America knows as Super Mario Bros. 2 (the game was originally Arabian themed and named Doki Doki Panic, and with tweaking converted into the Mario sequel). Lyrics like "seven year old smile -- vanishing / eggs, why eggs? / it's breaking my heart / it's hurting my nose / it's turning my -- skin green / why did you have to be -- so mean?" adorn the song, as well as the rest of the album. After a furious drum fill and a mimiced sound of Birdo releasing an egg, a hyperactive keyboard lick follows and the hardcore/metal tendencies of HORSE are once again revealed in "Birdo," with Winneke's frustrated sputter weaving in and out of the chords. An otherwise brutal breakdown is lightened up, humor-speaking, with a stuttered flow of 8-bit noise. With distortion on his voice in perhaps the best track, "A Rusty Glove" (another of the band's specific dedications to The Power Glove), Winneke sounds especially stonewalled singing "I'm not a robot but I've got a mechancial hand!"

The rest of the record continues the outright bizzareness that's likely to be heightened in HORSE's reputation, messing around with aspects of screamo, death metal, and metalcore. "The House of Bod" offers a random Dillinger-esque mathcore moment in its early goings; in another song, one couplet blatantly goes "sleep well mechanical thing / you were fun for a while / but now I'm going to go / ... / get a burrito;" "Heroes Die" works against the emitting sounds of a battle between Medieval soldiers; standout "Octupus on Fire" seriously bites the opening riff of 311's "You Wouldn't Believe;" the breakdown of the minute and a half-long "Taken By Vultures" involves Winneke spouting "Slaves! / masturbate -- to a single note" and an appropriately dragged keyboard note; "Load Gold Throneroom" seemingly opens with a mic planted in the room of an ongoing orgy; finally, the record ends amazingly clever, with a soundbite from Statler and Waldorf, the old guy hecklers from the Muppets.

While certainly lengthy at 13 tracks and over 50 minutes -- with the last four songs on the album all surpassing the four-minute mark -- The Mechanical Hand manages to mock an entire genre or two not just with the addition of a single instrument, but like the truly unique outfit's first record, with an entire theme surrounding it. It's about as entertaining as music as can get, and how long HORSE can drag out this likeable schtick will be determined in the near or far future. For now, they're refining and tinkering with their sound and coming out with results increasingly amusing, enjoyable, and ridiculous all the same.

MP3s
Birdo
The Black Hole

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Posted by Yikko on 2006-07-05 22:02:43
My Score:

I actually prefered R. Borlax, but I must say the songs are alot less annoying on this album.

Posted by hxcwannabe on 2006-04-15 12:27:16
My Score:

this cd is pretty good

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, February 9, 2006 at 10:12 AM (EST)

horse the band is the best band in the world who cares if there gay really gay theres nothing wrong with being gay their still the best band ever so if anyone says they suck you better shut the fuck up

Posted by shot_in_the_dark on 2006-02-08 19:38:09

its absolutely rediculous. this band is so bad... they're almost good. could they possibly have any idea what they are doing with they're lives?

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, January 26, 2006 at 9:24 PM (EST)
My Score:

you little shitletts dont know music

your just mad because HORSE owns your fucking assses

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, January 8, 2006 at 6:38 AM (EST)

i bhet you 90% of the poeple who dont like horse the band love the new korn album and think its original and inventive.....dont deny you boring assholes

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, January 8, 2006 at 6:36 AM (EST)
My Score:

if u have no idea how music is supposed to sound....thats probably why you cant comprehend this album, original, ridiculous and great...stop watching MTV2

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 29, 2005 at 8:55 PM (EDT)

heres why this cd sucks:
it came with a sticker, so i was really excited to buy it. But to my dismay, when the case popped open, not a HORSE sticker, but a Combat sticker. What a disappointing album, i would say disappointment of the year. The music is ok, but they put the wrong goddam sticker in there!!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 1:21 PM (EDT)

This CD is one of the best I've heard in years. It's got everything that all CD's should have...GREAT SONGS!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 5:12 PM (EDT)

I liked R. Borlax, but this pretty much blew all my expectations out the water. Probably one of my top ten this year.

Posted by Russe11 on 2005-10-09 02:10:47

Which genious are you??!

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 10:33 PM (EDT)
My Score:

a rusty glove has NOTHING to do with the power glove! im in the band so i know.

Posted by boba_fett on 2005-10-08 22:30:37
My Score:

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! superdude is back in action...

Posted by GreenVandal on 2005-10-08 19:31:22
My Score:

Everytime the band starts to play a really cliche metal part or something, that fucking Nintendo synthesizer thing kicks in and I cant help but rock out to it. This might be the best gimmick band ever.

Birdo makes me laugh. I love this band.

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 4:50 PM (EDT)

"these dudes are faggots, i mean, really, they are."

they fuck dudes?

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 4:47 PM (EDT)

these dudes are faggots, i mean, really, they are.

Posted by davebrave4 on 2005-10-08 15:43:52

amazing

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, October 8, 2005 at 12:44 PM (EDT)
My Score:

this cd has grown on me. the song souring quails reminds of like rocky running up the steps or something. the song writing has improved from r borlax. i also like the dancey feel of manateen

Posted by Testiclese on 2005-10-08 00:47:35

the cd is hot, i listen to it a lot

Posted by superdude on 2005-10-08 00:04:59

This review was pretty good, but here's how I would make it better:

1. Does Toby McGuire have anything to do with this band?

2. Seabiscut!

3. When they say "Mechanical Hand" are they refering to the Power Glove?

4. Or the dude from Inspector Gadget?

5. Once I know that, I'll be able to help you out with the rest.

Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2005-10-07 20:13:12

another good review

- jones the bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 5:54 PM (EDT)

this is the single worst band i've ever heard. and i've heard a lot of shitty bands. i review for a hardcore website for christ's sake.

Posted by ElVaquero on 2005-10-07 16:52:05
My Score:

I agree with this review completely. Super good job Brian, writing is nice! His voice still isn't great and I guess the drums aren't particularly exciting either. BUT! The guitars and keyboard are super improved. The lyrics too.

This CD is awesome to just pop in for people who have never heard of the band,

Posted by boba_fett on 2005-10-07 16:29:05

holy crap... i just listened to the song 'birdo'... is it reasonable to judge them by that song? because if so... they sound nothing like i thought they did. i thought they were one of those indie-core bands... shit. i was wrong. not bad. i dig this.

Posted by theundergroundscene on 2005-10-07 14:35:56

isn't it "the house of boo"?

Posted by McGarnicle on 2005-10-07 12:07:58
My Score:

Hooray for using the word "verklempt".

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 12:05 PM (EDT)

digging the mp3s

Posted by roy_G_biv on 2005-10-07 11:51:04
My Score:

definately a top release this year, this is the only thing i'm listening to now that doesn't completely bore me. i cant get enough 8 and 16 bit samplings.

~Q~

Posted by Inspection12e on 2005-10-07 11:20:51
My Score:

This sucks. Yea I went there.

Posted by Sirens on 2005-10-07 09:09:56

Lattermans got this beat if those mp3s are highlights. The singer sucks now. He sounds like the lead singer of Pantera.

-sirens dimebag is still dead.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 8:53 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Spectacular album. It's only competiton is Latterman's new one for album of the year.

Posted by Cos on 2005-10-07 04:22:51
My Score:

The score is for the completely unnecessary explaination of the origin of Super Mario Bros 2.

Throw it back!!!
--Cos

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 2:55 AM (EDT)

why did i wore her pussy like a hat get cut? i wanted to hear it...
also, the outro is great... listen to it just for that...

i heard it did make it. its just hidden on the cd somewhere. they claimed to be geniouses because of it.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 1:24 AM (EDT)

Id like to see the keys take an even bigger part in this band's stuff. They get overpowered by the guitars too much now.

Ok album.

Posted by andrew13 on 2005-10-07 01:07:39
My Score:

why did i wore her pussy like a hat get cut? i wanted to hear it...
also, the outro is great... listen to it just for that...

Posted by andrew13 on 2005-10-07 01:04:07
My Score:

love it... great great album... i even bought it after dling it and listening to it on repeat 10x

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 12:52 AM (EDT)
My Score:

This album is pretty much perfect. Alot better than R.Borlax I think.

A Million Exploding Suns is as fucking grandiose and epic as its title, and in my opinion, the best HORSE song ever.

Just amazing.

Posted by psychoos231 on 2005-10-07 00:50:07
My Score:

heh my comp skills suck.

Good album. The band is going to play two back to back shows in Socal next month. How are they live? worth checking out?

Posted by kirbypuckett on 2005-10-07 00:40:24
My Score:

This album is so fucking good!

It's missing instant hits like 'Cutsman' and 'Bunnies,' but it makes up for that with a very well rounded record.

Is that a Paperboy breakdown?

- Kirby

Posted by benz on 2005-10-07 00:39:32
My Score:

R. Borlax was not at all better than this. This is a great improvement overall for the band (However Cutsman still remains my fave Horse song).

These guys live are awesome.

-benz

Posted by etwiels88 on 2005-10-07 00:36:14

I still can't watch that fucking Quicktime video....

This albums...meh

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 12:33 AM (EDT)

i like it better than r borlax... they actually wrote songs this time, and not just entertaining parts

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 12:16 AM (EDT)
My Score:

meh. R. Borlax was better.

but the tour with these guys and hella should be most excellent.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 12:13 AM (EDT)

FIRST! Yeah, gotta love 8 bits. If only that dude who played Space Harrier on drums would release a full length.