Small Towns Burn a Little Slower

Small Towns Burn a Little Slower: Mortality As Home EntertainmentMortality As Home Entertainment (2005)
Triple Crown Records

Reviewer Rating: 2.5

Contributed by: Matt_WhelihanMatt Whelihan
(others by this writer | submit your own)
Published on November 1st 2005Maybe it's my frustration over hearing so many bands that sound the same, maybe it is an attempt to change things up a bit, or maybe I am just feeling lazy, but I am going to do this point by point. Start with 0. +2 Points for having two song titles ("Alias: The Bee Keeper", "Wait For Me, Abby.

Maybe it's my frustration over hearing so many bands that sound the same, maybe it is an attempt to change things up a bit, or maybe I am just feeling lazy, but I am going to do this point by point.

Start with 0.

+2 Points for having two song titles ("Alias: The Bee Keeper", "Wait For Me, Abby Bernstein") that are "Wet Hot American Summer" references.

-1 Point for having a typical pop-punk/post-hardcore sound that resembles a less talented Junction 18 or Voice In the Wire.

+2 Points for changing that sound up on songs like "Answers" with its piano fills and "Wake Up" with its noisy disco punk section.

+2 Points for not changing that sound up but making it work with great choruses on songs like "Last Blast Off" and "27 Guys Named Steve."

-1 Point for having a hidden track that sounds like a mix between the Faint and a bad Daft Punk song.

+1 Point for having Ed Rose (the Get Up Kids, Coalesce) produce the album and give it that sleek, yet powerful sound.

Total: 5

And what does a five mean? It means average, mediocre, middle of the pack. Small Towns Burn a Little Slower aren't anywhere near being the best at what they do, but believe me, there is a lot worse. These guys aren't the ones the teacher has to save from failing, nor do they score the accolades. Instead, they consistently bang out some C+ work.

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.

MissChainsaw (November 4, 2005)

Blech. This CD makes me ashamed to be from their state. Seriously, I used to have a decent opinion of this band, but now I kind of want to see them, you know. Die.

davebrave4 (November 1, 2005)

I watched My Wet Hot American Summer just last night. Coincidence? I think not.

However, it looks like all the pop culture references are a substitute for any actual meaningful content.

Anonymous (November 1, 2005)

first time i heard these guys, my friends like... "hear that clapping part?"
thats the sound of a band waiting to sell out as fast as they can.

Anonymous (November 1, 2005)

score's for the vanilla sky reference as the title, good movie

Anonymous (November 1, 2005)

Jones,

When I first wrote it everything had either a or - 1 which would have added up to a 2, so yeah I had to change some numbers around, cause I didn't think it was that bad.

-Matt

Jesse (November 1, 2005)

I hate this band. So much.

stevejonestherealbones (November 1, 2005)

tell the truth. did you really do this point for point till you felt you made all the comments you wanted, or did you intend to give this a five and force the numbers to work out....

- jones the bones

- stevejones8770@yahoo.com

- either way, i wont listen to this totally gay band with that lame fucking name no matter what, i'm just curious

tristan (November 1, 2005)

Deserves a 3 for referencing Bert Blyleven. And at least a -3 for misspelling his name.

etwiels88 (November 1, 2005)

What a dumb name.