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Adair

The Destruction of Everything Is the Beginning of Something New
2006
Warcon

Adair - The Destruction of Everything Is the Beginning of Something New (Cover Artwork)

Review by: Anchors
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At Least These Dudes Are Stoked (link)

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Published on July 18th 2006

Oh boy. I’m going to do two reviews for this one. The first one will save you the trouble of reading the second, I assure you. The second review, I’m writing for a select group of people, those unable to discern awful music from anything remotely worthwhile. In any event, without any further adieu, here’s review number one.

This line was taken directly from the press sheet: "Taking their moniker from a book of baby names…"

Now, for the second review.

Take the word cliché, copy, paste, and repeat until desired result is achieved. This fourth-rate Hawthorne Heights isn’t content with just cutting your wrists and blacking your eyes, no sir, they’ve got to go straight for the jugular. Just take a peek into the liner notes for the lyrics to “I Buried My Heart in Cosmo Park.” There’s more talk of blood than in a B horror movie. "Slit my throat from the inside, I’ll choke on my own blood."

Hey, if that’ll prevent him from singing, I’m all for it. And before anyone gets any ideas, I’m using the word singing in a very loose description, because I’m not quite sure what appears on this record can fall into that category of vocal manipulations. The whiny, nasal approach of singer Rob Tweedie is a sound for sore ears, and the sporadic, utterly pointless screaming does not improve matters in the slightest. The musicians here are competent, which, is more than I can say for a few similar bands, but that will only go so far. The song structures are still entirely devoid of value, and the lyrics are just the rat poison on the tope of this rotten cake.

This is my plea to Warcon Records:

Please, please, please release something of merit. I understand the wanting to make a quick buck by flogging a dead horse here, and appealing to a nation full of kids in their girlfriends jeans stealing their moms hairspray, but for the love of God, enough. There are thousands of talented, worthy bands playing in front of 10 people a night while this garbage gets peddled to no end. I know I’m just one guy with a keyboard and soapbox to stand on here, but I assure you there’s an extremely large contingent of people sick of the utter garbage polluting underground music. [Ed.'s Note: This is where Aubin steps in to point out the new Helmet album.]

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, July 21, 2006 at 2:57 AM (EDT)
My Score:

I've hated everything you've ever posted or written until now. Congratulations, you're not a total fucking idiot. This review is brilliant.

Posted by Deadpan on 2006-07-20 17:05:27
My Score:

Holy shit. The picture in that link alone makes this review unquestionably amazing.

Score's for the review.

Posted by dietcokeofpunk on 2006-07-19 09:11:15

How does one choke their own blood?

much like drowning, your lungs fill up with blood leaving no room for the much needed oxygen. so you cough a few times, trying to move the blood then realize that this band's music might be sooo bad that you should just let yourself go, and save yourself the pain in your ears.

Posted by johnnydanger on 2006-07-19 06:52:37

fuck.

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 8:50 PM (EDT)

I'm really tired, so I'll just say the obligatory punk is dead comment. Nothing more, nothing less.

--Feeeding5000

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 5:42 PM (EDT)

Even these guys are from St. Louis it's good that they really don't play here. Same goes for Story of the year.

Posted by sickboi on 2006-07-18 16:21:56

This might be Anchor's finest work yet, brav-fucking-o.

Posted by Archangel on 2006-07-18 14:35:04

Greatest link ever.

Posted by ILOVESCOTT on 2006-07-18 12:52:15

anchors, you really outdid yourself

Posted by modelcitizen on 2006-07-18 11:18:32

i haven't heard this cd, but the singer rob tweedie used to be in a band called disturbing the peace. they were allright. more hard rock bordering on numetal. so they followed the story of the year path. starting as a nu metal band when that was popular, then changing their name and becoming a screamo band when that became popular.

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 10:39 AM (EDT)

I cant remember what website it was, but these guys were compared to Moneen. After listening to about 25 seconds of this garbage, whoever wrote this better be in the unemployed line.

Posted by kirbypuckett on 2006-07-18 09:28:59

How does one choke their own blood?

- Kirby

Posted by bobbett on 2006-07-18 08:21:41

if they named the band after adair from ucb, i would be interested.

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, July 18, 2006 at 6:05 AM (EDT)

“I Buried My Heart in Cosmo Park.”

is that a hawthorne heights song, or is that something about Ohio.....I lived in ohio once, i never saw anything remotely shocking enough to make someone bet another person to write a song about Ohio that would make things worse for it than reconstruction and slavery.

doe, adair, a female deer.
da, something something made of wood.
ray, da da, something something...bonanza!

thats gonna be stuck in my head for the next five minutes, you bastards.

wyzo

Posted by rkl on 2006-07-18 01:11:14

is that picture the band?
if not, it should be.

Posted by FuckYouOiOiOi on 2006-07-18 00:15:36

hahaha. great fucking review. i heard one song of theirs on some warped tour contest page and i was sickened.

the title of that link is funny too.

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