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International Superheroes of Hardcore - International Superheroes of Hardcore (Cover Artwork)

International Superheroes of Hardcore

International Superheroes of Hardcore: International Superheroes of HardcoreInternational Superheroes of Hardcore (2006)
Broken Sounds

Reviewer Rating: 3.5


Contributed by: KirbyPuckettKirbyPuckett
(others by this writer | submit your own)

From the East Coast to the West Coast, screamo, screamo gotta go! Joining the ranks of the Aquabats and the Pheneomenauts to save the planet from appalling music and to promote fun are the International Superheroes of Hardcore. As of late, dudes with more expensive haircuts than their girlfriends s.
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From the East Coast to the West Coast, screamo, screamo gotta go!
Joining the ranks of the Aquabats and the Pheneomenauts to save the planet from appalling music and to promote fun are the International Superheroes of Hardcore. As of late, dudes with more expensive haircuts than their girlfriends sporting a wardrobe that crossdressers would envy are claiming the hardcore genre. Thankfully, in true superhero fashion the good guys have arrived at the last second to rescue the world from impending disaster! ISHC are not flashy inconspicuous nerds like Spiderman or Batman who lead personal lives as Peter Parker or Bruce Wayne, respectively. Instead, these five musicians relate more to the X-Men and do not conceal their identity, instead wearing their pride on their costumes -- I assume all members own a closet full of basketball jerseys.

There are four unique regulations that every assembly of superheroes must comply with: a theme song, superpowers, a leader, and a logo. ISHC accomplish all four within two minutes. Their anthem begins with a brutal spinkick fireball combo to Superman's chest, knocking his emblem into the center of a sweat soaked circle pit, leaving only the fierce Captain Straight Edge to snag it off the floor while grabbing some spare change to fund a 7 inch in the process. Of course his right-hand man The Amazing Breakdown has his back in case the push mosh gets out of hand.

Occasionally superheroes have to put up with common thugs. Remember that time you sold your Shai Hulud vinyl on eBay after their umpteenth breakup and the buyer never paid? Well don't worry, because ISHC will help you get your bank back with a few chugga chugga riffs. Freddy Madball's even got their back and that dude carries a gun, so you know you're covered.

The Superhero faction, much like the modern day hardcore scene, is crowded with phonies. Captain Straight Edge, The Amazing Breakdown, Mr. Mosh, Chugga Chugga, and Sgt. Soy call them out on "Superhero Sellouts" exposing the likes of the Fantastic Four, Judge Dredd and more for selling out to the movie industry. Batman also catches the ferocity of a wall of death for ruining the hardcore scene in Gotham City. Hopefully they can do something about that Tony Brummel villain next, he shares an uncanny resemblance with Lex Luther, don't you think?

Saving the world is not a simple task and the heroes of the world certainly need to relax -- everyone knows that there is no better way to have fun than hardcore dancing to a siq breakdown. Oh what's that, you don't know how to hardcore dance? Well there is no need to worry as the "Hardcore Hokey Pokey" will teach you everything you need to know about head-walking to windmills.

The world is lucky to have a group as dedicated as the International Superheroes of Hardcore to protect us from the ills of the music industry. So be sure to support them by throwing a parade in your city or at least picking up this record. There's only a thousand available, so much like owning The Amazing Spiderman issue #1, it will be quite the collector's item down the road.

 

 
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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
mostrivu (April 11, 2008)

International Superheroes Of Hardcore is all five members of New Found Glory playing new roles as hardcore musician superheroes with guitarist Chad Gilbert taking over the mic and NFG vocalist Jordan Pudnik replacing Gilbert on guitar.

Pretty cool. Hopefully it doesn't turn out all weird

Archangel (September 7, 2006)

I love the recycled "Haha, dudes in girl pants! Flippy hair in their faces! White belts! What faggo -- I mean, SCENESTERS!" rants as much as the next guy, because it just seems to get funnier each time, but just who in the fuck are the members of New Found Glory to invent a band that will attack ANY genre, regardless of how awful the fashion?

It's like Fall Out Boy making fun of ska for their silly obsession with checkerboard-patterned ANYTHING, yelling "pick it up!", and the word "skank" as a verb. It's the shitty mocking the shitty!

gladimnotemo (September 7, 2006)

Out of 1000? Limited pressing, it isn't.

Scruffy (September 7, 2006)

Thanks to Will for being the only one to spell Lex Luthor's name right.

Anonymous (September 7, 2006)

"Joining the ranks of the Aquabats and the Pheneomenauts to save the planet from appalling music "

They obviously weren't saving earth then.

kirbypuckett (September 7, 2006)

I know that Chad Gilbert is in the band, because when your order it on Paypal it's his account that gets the money. However, I can't find any other info on the other members.

- Kirby

RyanRockwell (September 7, 2006)

i believe it is new found glory.

bryne (September 6, 2006)

And good review Kirby.

bryne (September 6, 2006)

Ridiculously awesome.

inagreendase (September 6, 2006)

Uh, so how many members of NFG does this band include, exactly?

JLJL (September 6, 2006)

I hope the thing they have for Madball is also a joke...

Anonymous (September 6, 2006)

Dude.

Crisis On Infinite Earths Reference x Punknews.Org = Dork To Tha X Treme

kirbypuckett (September 6, 2006)

-TraumaSponge,

It's more a "hardcore jokes" disc.

- Kirby

Anonymous (September 6, 2006)

that's PRE crisis. POST crisis he hates superman because he sent him to jail for a night and replaced him as most powerful man in metropolis. or did they change all that? can't keep up with DC continuity anymore.

Anonymous (September 6, 2006)

The original reason Lex Luther hates Superman is that they used to be friends in Smallville. One day while Luthor was trying to find a cure against Kryptonite to help his friend, he lost all of his hair, and are how legends are made...

Royish (September 6, 2006)

Someone already said it but I've gotta throw it out there...

Amazing Fantasy # 15 is the first appearance of Spider-Man and that's the comic that all Spider-Man fans would want.

Sorry my inner nerd forced me to comment about it.

TraumaSponge (September 5, 2006)

So are these guys mostly centered on hardcore jokes like Good Clean Fun or comic book jokes like no band the world has ever seen before?

el_matt (September 5, 2006)

The review made me want to check otu the album.

R3venge_Therapy (September 5, 2006)

Posted by FuckJay-Z on 2006-09-05 13:12:45
this record is as gay as the reviewer.


Says the guy who has an Escape the Fate album ranked as one of his favorites in his profile...okay buddy.

I haven't heard all of this yet, but the songs I heard were great in that "this is fun" sense. I think New Found Glory should hang it up and just do this instead.

jamalxbearings (September 5, 2006)

Thank god for bands like this.

Anonymous (September 5, 2006)

Not my favorite new found glory record, but the novelty of it and the fact that they'd do this while other mainstream punk bands do legitimate but shitty bands (for example the transplants) makes it even better.

SlowStupidHungry (September 5, 2006)

Lex Luthor was not originally the shaved headed/bald guy he is now.

In any case, I perfectly understand what that guy is saying below me, and don't get me wrong or accuse me of being "unfun," but there's a horrible over-saturation of late 80's HC throwback joke bands. We get it, youth crew is hilarious. I'd rather listen to Youth of Today, though. Or a modern band that is influenced by better music than East Coast HC.

sickboi (September 5, 2006)

Dude below me doesn't believe in "fun"...

Anonymous (September 5, 2006)

here's the thing, i find all this sing/scream/emo bullshit in hc today as lame as anyone else. BUT now i feel even more flooded with brand new bands playing old school hc and talking about how things were better in the old days and screamo sucks and blah blah. despite the claims that hc is being overrun by new kids, i have never, in all my time listening to this music, seen so damn many old school/throwback bands and frankly it's getting pretty lame and played out. i'm as uninterested in chain of strength clone #654 as i am in atreyu clone #356

oh, and just for the record, amazing fantasy #15 is the first appearance of spider-man, making it even more valuable than ASM #1.

Anonymous (September 5, 2006)

Madballs got our back

skolarx (September 5, 2006)

this is actually pretty damn good

hitlerbadzakgood (September 5, 2006)

i was wondering if this was ever gonna come out. are they still active or is this it for them? i notice they dont do too many updates.

jamespastepunk (September 5, 2006)

Hopefully they can do something about that Tony Brummel villain next, he shares an uncanny resemblance with Lex Luther, donā??t you think?

I never thought about it, but now that you mention it...

FuckJay-Z (September 5, 2006)

this record is as gay as the reviewer.

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