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Bombshell - To Hell with Motives (Cover Artwork)

Bombshell

Bombshell: To Hell with MotivesTo Hell with Motives (2006)
Indianola Records

Reviewer Rating: 0.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: AnchorsAnchors
(others by this writer | submit your own)

In a few very simple steps, you and your friends could start your own band that's exactly like Bombshell, and release your very own record that mirrors the torrent of originality on To Hell with Motives. So now, free of charge, I will release the ingredients that go into making a band like this; .
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In a few very simple steps, you and your friends could start your own band that's exactly like Bombshell, and release your very own record that mirrors the torrent of originality on To Hell with Motives. So now, free of charge, I will release the ingredients that go into making a band like this;

First and foremost, you must have one singing and one screaming vocalist. This combination is absolutely imperative to the success of the band. In fact, the more vocalists the better. Three vocalists? Three times the fun is what I say! The more high-pitched and out of tune the singing the better the result. Now remember, if it sounds like the ages of the vocalists are anywhere above 15, you've overdone it. The second ingredient is just as important as the first one, and that's sophomoric and overdramatic lyrics. The more mentions of blood, dying, death, love, lost love, blood, depression, angels, and blood that you can cram into each song, the better. As a general rule of thumb here, at least 30% of the lyrics in a given song should have some sort of depressing imagery and there should be no less than four mentions of blood or death. Mix and match those with love and death to maximize your fun!

Alright, so we've taken care of vocals and lyrics, but that's only half the battle. Behind every sacred dying heart in November's bloody romance, there has to be an incredibly boring arrangement of riffs. Alternate some clean chord progressions with extremely low tuning and let 'er rip. I shouldn't even have to mention this, but breakdowns are absolutely essential. If you can't picture middle schoolers in their sister's jeans spin-kicking to your live performance, go back and start over. There's no reason to settle for anything short of perfection. Combine that with some double bass drumming and you're well on your way to making this band a reality! One more step to go.

Now that you've got your sing/scream technique down, and breakdowns set up, it's time to think about the acoustic closer. After all, what third-rate Hawthorne Heights can truly say they've made an album without an acoustic closer? Exactly. Now what you'll want to first do is decide who's the worst singer out of the two or three -- that's who will handle vocal duties with the acoustic song. If he strains and his voice cracks when hitting the high notes, you've found your man! You'll really have to put some emotion into these lyrics seeing as they'll be much easier to understand. If people can't feel your pain, if they don't feel like their 8th grade girlfriend kissed another guy in the cafeteria, they won't truly connect, and everything will have been for nothing.

I hope this has been an informative guide, and if you follow my instructions exactly, you should be on the Warped Tour and in the notebooks of 14-year-old girls everywhere in no time!

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anchors (January 31, 2007)

Show me three examples of this style review done on this site before and I've got some vacation property for you in Tahiti.

As far as my review caliber, this latest batch has been a little down. I'm aware. I had a lot to do and rushed to get some of these done, and thus, didn't pay as much attention as I should have. The next bunch, once I get the new set of albums, will be much better.

Anonymous (January 31, 2007)

i like it.

socrates (January 31, 2007)

exactly my point, this has been done before. anchors has got to invent new ways of bashing more than generic emo/poppunk bands.

crazytoledo (January 31, 2007)

The review might have been funny if it wasn't extremly cliche and done a hundred times before.

SilentStorms (January 31, 2007)

Agreed Anchors, one hilarious review for mad hizzle. Although I do agree your reviews have been a little off this year. Maybe it's just the fact that you're branching out more. Of course, I dislike that trees that you're attempting to climb. Terrible pun I know, but true (in opinion) nontheless. Please make Funeral Diner come out with a new record so we can agree on something again. Oh wait, my first sentence was in agreeance.

Anchors (January 30, 2007)

Hahaha honestly, I felt like this was one of my better ones lately.

Anonymous (January 30, 2007)

They have over twelve thousand myspace friends though. That's gotta count for something. I mean, twelve thousand myspace douche bags can't be wrong, can they?

Anonymous (January 30, 2007)

"anchors hasn't been at his best lately.."

Seriously? Because this is pretty top-notch for him.

feeeding5000 (January 30, 2007)

Ouch! So cruel that even crazytoledo, the epitome of taste and moderation, says it's too much. Well, I guess we should just write off screamo as a genre right now. Oh, wait, everyone already did that...

socrates (January 30, 2007)

anchors hasn't been at his best lately..

crazytoledo (January 30, 2007)

I so jam to this from time to time. And I wear guys pants when doing so.

It's honestly no different than most of the generic screamo out there, it just seems that people pick out random bands from the genre to hate and ignore the rest.

sweetsuperior (January 30, 2007)

there was a bombshell in gainesville, fl in the 90's who released an lp on allied. i realize it's difficult to name a band these days, but do your homework.

punk_rawk_show (January 30, 2007)

hmmm might have to pick this one up then

ryanrockwell (January 30, 2007)

this sounds pretty good!

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