The Bayonettes

As per usual, I was sitting on the edge of my bed mulling over the first world problems in my life. While I was sitting there I consulted my stuffed Pink Panther doll as to my best course of action; he said: “Damn it Jon! You’ve got to release yourself from this wasteful despair!” Indeed Pink Panther, indeed. So I floated over and perused my record shelves for just the right album to bring me out of this malaise. It would seem that such an album had sneaked its way into the declining days of the year Two Thousand and Six, that album was the Bayonettes' We’re Doomed 7".

What? What? What? I’m trying to sell that an album entitled We’re Doomed is going to lighten someone’s mood? Honestly, I can’t say the EP doesn’t encapsulate a certain sense of foreboding but that isn’t all that’s going on here. The songs “Take This Pill” and “We’re Doomed” deal with medicating one’s malcontented feelings about the world and the current corrupt state of war, respectively. These songs do not carry happy motifs, no, but they are delivered with gobs of delicious female-voiced melody. Just because the Bayonettes are a female fronted punk-pop band, don’t jump to conclusions that the band is some sort of de-fanged Cub clone. Rather, the band brings to mind the buzzing rough-edged pop of bands like the Adverts, the Zero Boys and Generation X. When vocalist Zoe repeats the lines "Depression! It’s all I see. Frustration! It’s how I feel" in “Take This Pill,” its catchiness burrows its way into your brain. However, Zoe adds a shrillness to her yells of “depression” and “frustration,” exposing the grim nature of the song. Frustration is a good word to describe the band -- the frustration and frantic feelings that come with youth.

The other two songs on the album create a topical balance by covering subjects of more relationship-based dealings. Like the rest of the album there is a certain valuable contrast created within them but a similarity as well; both “Hungry for You” and “Let It Go” work within the realm of desire. “Hungry for You” deals with being in a unhealthy relationship but still needing the relationship, and “Let It Go” deals with still wanting someone after the relationship has gone south. Each song in their unique way perfectly compartmentalizes the bittersweet quality in which real relationships often take, never becoming overly saccharine or harsh.

This being the Toronto band’s third 7" release it is also the band’s strongest, and it is impressive that they’ve honed their style to a 'T' already. While they might not exactly be breaking any new ground, their song craft is simply undeniable. It will be interesting to see if they can parlay these short bursts of frantic energy into a full-length release. The most appealing factor of the album though, is Zoe, Mark, Marry Ann and Bennett’s propensity to move the human frame and I know Del Tha Funkee Homosapien would be upset if we weren’t shaking our gluteus maximus.