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Stemage - Strati (Cover Artwork)

Stemage

Stemage: StratiStrati (2006)
Silent Uproar

Reviewer Rating: 0.5


Contributed by: JesseJesse
(others by this writer | submit your own)

What the fuck is this? There, that's the review. Seriously. I have no idea who this dude is, or why he recorded an album full of crappy nü-metal riffs with his shitty high school talent show vocals on top of wannabe emo verses. The opening lyrics to this album are "Motörhead is kind of .
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What the fuck is this?

There, that's the review. Seriously.

I have no idea who this dude is, or why he recorded an album full of crappy nü-metal riffs with his shitty high school talent show vocals on top of wannabe emo verses.

The opening lyrics to this album are "Motörhead is kind of like you. Nobody really likes them but everyone says they do." Yo, dick. I like Motörhead. In fact, I listen to Motörhead about once a day. In comparison? I didn't listen to an entire one of these songs. When he wasn't ripping off a riff from the Smashing Pumpkins, he's trying to get ambient and instrumental on us. And when that doesn't work, he rips off a Motörhead riff for "Fabulous Fabulist."

This is why solo projects never work. The dude thinks "Oh hey, I can mix genres all over the place and it'll be inventive and cool! I'll be cool and just call it "rock music" and then everyone will like me." And to quote Keith Richards in that scathing NME interview, "The biggest cliché in rock'n'roll is... There's no roll. They forgot the roll and they only kept the rock. The roll's the whole damn thing dude, the rock is nothing, deal with it, the roll is king. Unfortunately most cats don't get behind the roll."

It only gets worse when he starts pulling out the Matchbox 20 riffs. Joe Satriani never wrote good songs. Eric Clapton doesn't write good songs. Are they good musicians? Yeah, they can rock a solo. Can this guy play his instruments? Yep. He can. Decently, too.

But being a good musician doesn't mean you should be allowed to write and record a solo album under a "project" name and think that you're cool. Plus, what the fuck's up with the Good Charlotte cover art?

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Cr1mson (June 15, 2008)

=D I have a hard time focusing on the album when the review is so shitty whether or not you're right! hahahaha

I can't really digest this album... I really like his Metroid covers, but this is lacking something. I like ambient and instrumental, so I suppose that I feel a strong contrast between the metroid stuff and his actual work.

It feels like he's trying to be too unique. He's trying to hard to be different and it just ends up being weird, and that's what VERY DIFFERENT is.

As I'm typing this, I haven't been excited by most of the tracks, but Strati Part 1 just came on, and I definitely like it alot...

Unfortunately, a good track or two doesn't make an album for me, so I kind of have to do a one thumb down, and one sideways.

MAbans (June 1, 2007)

Did he say that eric clapton and joe Satriani can't write songs? Writing a song is a lot more than just coming up with lyrics. You may like motorhead for the slick value of what it is to "hip" to like them. Granted the music is immature, lacks some soul and somewhat seems lost in terms of direction but that is due to immaturity perhaps as he finds his sound I would assume. I don't enjoy Satiani's music as a whole but tere are songs that tell me "this fucker can play". The review you gave was uninspired pseudo wanna be punk against the grain with disingenious opinions just because the music perhaps didn't speak to you. I listened to the album because the review just gave me NOTHING to go on in understanding why you thought it was bad. the CD isn't good but waay further than the hunk of shit you made it out to be.

BTW motohead sucks, weak vocals, bad music and lame lyrics.. Maybe that's why they made a Song for WWE, fits right in with that over the top lame image it has..

david_arquette (May 6, 2007)

I wouldn't listen to this on my own time, but I'd honestly at least give it 2.5 stars.

Anonymous (May 6, 2007)

This is worse though.

Anonymous (May 6, 2007)

motorhead sucks!!

Anonymous (May 6, 2007)

I had to hear this for myself, so I went to iTunes. Can't say it is my cup of tea, but everyone there gave it 5 stars.

Anonymous (May 4, 2007)

hahaha, they quoted this review on their myspace page. gotta hand it to the dude, he has a good sense of humor. too bad his music sucks. i dont know if it is as bad as jesse says it is, but it is completely unnecessary.

Anonymous (May 4, 2007)

This was pretty hilarious. I like the idea of comparing someone to Motorhead like that, but you're right, it doesn't really work. Maybe if he used the Ramones, considering everyone and their fucking mother has a Ramones shirt. Seriously...everyone, everyone claims to listen to the Ramones. Well, same w/ Bob Marley....ahh, screw it.
-feeeding5000

AphasiacIIC (May 4, 2007)

i agree that this guy sucks ass and the score is justified, but this review is HORRIBLE. stop writing.

Anonymous (May 4, 2007)

This guy did a great metal reinterpretation of the Metroid soundtrack. It's kind of a shame then to hear that his own music is so shitty.

Anonymous (May 4, 2007)

what if this dude's dying from cancer, and recorded this album to raise money for charity? you'll feel silly then, won't you mister man?

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