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Epitaph Records -- Millencolin

The Tiny

Starring; Someone Like You
2007
Eyeball

The Tiny - Starring; Someone Like You (Cover Artwork)


Review by: Jesse
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Eyeball Records (Logo)

Published on May 18th 2007

The problem with Scandinavians is that they don't understand English very well. First of all, "tiny" is an adjective. Its purpose is to describe a noun. The tiny what? The Tiny Band? What we're dealing with is a sentence fragment. Second, the title of this album contains an improper use of a semicolon. I don't know why it's so difficult for these Swedes; English is a Germanic language, just like Swedish.

Anyway, the promo sticker tells me that I'll love this if I like Regina Spektor and Kate Bush. I haven't heard a Regina Spektor song since the college radio station out here decided that they were too hip to play her, and I haven't head a Kate Bush song since I worked in that record store where collectors and nerds kept trying to tell me how awesome she was (I refuted their claims pointing out the album cover where she's dressed in a catsuit -- catsuits do not equal awesome). Regardless, I'm not a big fan of "If you like..." stickers.

The Tiny play a sort of Scandinavian orchestral pop that shouldn't be too unfamiliar. Imagine Bjork without the interesting chord progressions and arrangements and thought-provoking lyrics and vocal power. In fact, don't imagine Bjork at all. Let's see, how to describe this...

The Tiny sound exactly like every single boring wannabe minimalistic ambient orchestral band you heard last year while you waited in line at Starbucks while your less "punk" friend wanted to buy a Frappucino.

It's not bad, it's not great, it's just sort of there -- waiting to bore you.



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    Posted by SilentStorms on 2007-05-24 01:01:52

    sentence fragment is a sentence fragment.

    shutting down

    Posted by jesse on 2007-05-20 20:40:59

    Well, looks like the joke fell flat. Sorry about your lack of a sense of humor.

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, May 20, 2007 at 5:50 PM (EDT)

    I've found that most people from Sweden speak English better than those for whom English is the first language.

    Even if that's a slight exaggeration, I'm pretty sure their English is better than our Swedish.

    -K

    Posted by aaronfromsweden on 2007-05-20 17:31:34
    My Score:

    Um... ok, first of all: have you ever been to Scandinavia? If so, you should know that we (scandinavians) generally speak your language way better than most non-english speaking countries out there. So the fact that you are making a statement that scandinavians (or even swedes) seem to have difficulties with english, based only on this bands name, is kinda cute. If you want bad english, go visit Germany, France, Spain, Italy or you name it (lovely countries, really, but generally they don't know any english whatsoever). Now, if this band title (The Tiny) is grammaticly wrong, it doesn't matter and nobody would giva a shit, it's still a name. There are no rules for band names! Agreed? Would you like to complain on Millencolin as well, since their name isn't even a real word? Or the band "A" from England. What kind of name is that? "A"-what? "A Band"? Oh, well, I agree it's A stupid name, but that doesn't mean it's a bad band (they are though... IMO) or that they are retarded or incompetent when it comes to grammar. Right?

    I don't know shit about this band, never heard of 'em before, but your review seemed to focus on the so called "grammatical errors" more than the music itself.

    I can't believe I just wrote that much. Anyway, work on your reviews dude. Maybe I had some grammatical errors in my writing here, but I guess I made my point clear? And it's all that matters.

    Oh, and score is for the review (didn't see that coming, huh?)

    Posted by jesse on 2007-05-19 22:08:02

    I know it's a bad review. So sue me.

    Posted by AphasiacIIC on 2007-05-19 16:47:03
    My Score:

    score is for the review, once again. i dont even know this band but only like 2-3 sentences were spent talking about the music.

    Posted by JKyle on 2007-05-18 23:02:40
    My Score:

    "The problem with Scandinavians is that they don't understand English very well. First of all, 'tiny' is an adjective. Its purpose is to describe a noun. The tiny what? The Tiny Band? What we're dealing with is a sentence fragment."

    Score is for your ignorance of grammar.

    Posted by AlmostPunkENough on 2007-05-18 22:47:03

    i see the person below me hasn't read many of Jesse's reviews.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, May 18, 2007 at 5:01 AM (EDT)

    Um, this is one of the shittiest reviews I've ever read. Don't spend 70% of the review stroking your indie cred.

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