Punknews.org
The Higher - On Fire (Cover Artwork)

The Higher

The Higher: On FireOn Fire (2007)
Epitaph Records

Reviewer Rating: 0.5
User Rating:


Contributed by: GlassPipeMurderGlassPipeMurder
(others by this writer | submit your own)

You heard it here first, folks: The world has a new worst band ever, and their name is the Higher. This fact may be obscured by Epitaph doublespeak in the same way real estate brokers use "cozy" and "as is" to mean "tiny" and "no give-backs," so I'll walk you through the language labyrinth: Epit.
iTunes StoreAmazon


You heard it here first, folks: The world has a new worst band ever, and their name is the Higher. This fact may be obscured by Epitaph doublespeak in the same way real estate brokers use "cozy" and "as is" to mean "tiny" and "no give-backs," so I'll walk you through the language labyrinth:

Epitaph says: "Hear the new sound of emo, pop, and R&B colliding in a dance party explosion."

Read as: "Hear the sound of shit hitting the fan as punk is exploited to its furthest stretch since New Wave married MTV."

Epitaph says: "The Higher prove that dance beats are the new power chords."

Read as: "The Higher prove that metrosexual is the new dance beats."

It's hard to describe how bad the Higher actually is, but I would liken it to living confirmation that the only thing worse than Maroon 5 is a terrible emo knockoff. The music is beyond bland, exceeding to intolerable levels of cheesy, narcissistic pop. Other possible genres include AbercrombiexandxFitchxCore, White-Kid-Dance-Crap, and Girls Night Out.

The Higher has a knack for taking tough, badass titles like "Weapons Wired" and "Guts" and filling them with inarticulate gushing/complaining about females, the former song of which provides lyrics that are almost unbearable: "And it's so over barring [sic] as I watch her move so steady / But she won't let her body stop / No she won't let her body stop."

The band also somehow manages to surpass even self-indulgent creeps like Escape the Fate and Self Against City with some of the most shamelessly egotistical lyrics I've ever heard: "If you want to see a show / Come with me baby and I'll show you how I roll / [â?¦] / When you see me from across the room (hey girl!) / You know what to do / Can you get me in the mood? / I'll make you want this / And make you want it more / It keeps on sucking me / Sucking me in."

The final straw comes as Patrick Stump of the second worst band ever provides an eight-minute remix of "Pace Yourself," originally from the Higher's Histrionics. The result? Proof of why white guys should stay the hell away from attempting R&B.

Since Brett Gurewitz of Bad Religion owns the Epitaph empire, I think it would be a good idea to start leasing out Bad Religion titles for his Epitaph bands. The Higher can be the first. Instead of On Fire, it should be called No Substance: For Real This Time.

Epitaph might have heard a ca-ching when they decided to put out On Fire, but I just hear terrible music. I don't always agree with my oft-harsh colleague Scott Heisel, but he said it best considering the Higher: "This band is 100% worthless," and I couldn't agree more.

 


Please login or register to post comments.What are the benefits of having a Punknews.org account?
  • Share your opinion by posting comments on the stories that interest you
  • Rate music and bands and help shape the weekly top ten
  • Let Punknews.org use your ratings to help you find bands and albums you might like
  • Customize features on the site to get the news the way you want.
Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
oilove (June 13, 2009)

hahaha Reggie has been sending me nudes for the last year, I've repeatedly asked him to stop. Thinking about selling them on ebay but considering how shitty their band is...who in their right mind would buy them?! All in all, they have no talent and are creeps.

Anonymous (August 2, 2007)

man, i saw these guys a couple years back and i kind of liked them, but sort of forgot about them soon thereafter. but after reading this review, i actually checked out the new songs on their purevolume, and this shit is fucking terrible. - sort of unbiased, half-review. there.

Anonymous (August 2, 2007)

I rarely comment on reviews now, but that was just fucking horrible. If you are going to write a review, please learn to keep some shred of objectivity before you rant like a complete moron.

I don't know where you get off stating this and then don't even give any examples. Shows how many dumbasses come to this site. If you are going to diss something might want to give some examples of how it is bad.

Anonymous (August 2, 2007)

if you are looking for positive reviews of this shit, head on over to absolutepunk.net, buddy. if you aren't enraged enough to rant about how this crap gets touted by "punk" kids, you should stay off this site.

salsashark (August 2, 2007)

I rarely comment on reviews now, but that was just fucking horrible. If you are going to write a review, please learn to keep some shred of objectivity before you rant like a complete moron.

steveman (August 2, 2007)

Man.. Their first EP was pretty catchy, but since then they have gotten EXPONENTIALLY worse with each release. Like...really horrible.

I don't even see different bands anymore, June, CIWWAF, Higher, and all those other bands are just one, terrible entity in my mind.

istapledmyfoot (August 2, 2007)

haha, great review.

SteeevePerry (August 1, 2007)

Yea this is like Nick Carter wearing a ramones shirt trying to out-pot p!atd. I wouldn't say FOB are the only band worse tho... wat about hawthorne heights? What about the hundreds of bands trying to sound like hawthorne heights? Wat about JUNE? At least some FOB has half clever lyrics. JUNE.... (this space is for me to shake my head in)

gnarlynarwhals (August 1, 2007)

CIWWAF is still at least twice as bad

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

i remember hearing a couple songs off their first album and somewhat enjoying them.. enough so that i bought the record. big mistake. it sat and gathered dust til i threw it away recently. serious boy band kinda shit.

what the fuck happened to Epitaph?

at least they signed Gallows though, i think they're pretty good.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

as expected there was one dude on here who complained about the reviewer wasting his time and suggested that he buy better music instead of 'bitching'. Bravo, fignuts. Wherever you are.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

oh man! i was watching MTV and i saw this band. and i was so revolted that i made myself sit through the whole shittty fucking shit shit of a tune it was to find out the name of this band so i can use musical humor for shit music. such as "yo this shit is just bout as bad as the higher hahahaha" then i little group of HxC friends could giggle then maybe possibly engage in a fist fight. forever XXX XscreamingxhateX

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

I think it's time for Epitaph to throw in the towel. Give it up, BRETT.

baseball (July 31, 2007)

how in the world can this band release an album in the same year on the same label as the Weakerthans and Bad Religion?

Epitaph sure has a lot of identities nowadays, and this one is a bad bad one

coldwaffles (July 31, 2007)

I honestly tried to like this band, after kind of digging MCS, figuring Epitaph might be on to something with pop. They weren't. I don't know about a 1, but this is pretty bad.

But yo - Score is for Maroon 5 "Harder to Breathe" - don't hate, that song wrecks.

Scruffy (July 31, 2007)

It is actually entertaining how absolutely terrible this band is. I'm smiling at the fact that five guys can actually do this with a straight face. Aren't there better things to do in Vegas.
I mean, I can understand how people enjoy Fall Out Boy. But how does even the most naive, straight-laced 12 year old girl's BS meter not break when they hear this?
Shame on you, Mr. Brett.

Scruffy (July 31, 2007)

1. Is the album title a play on the band High On Fire?

2. Everyone saying, "Why review this if it sucks?": You are an idiot if you believe that people should only review things they like. It defeats the purpose. ON top of that, you have failed to notice the "STAFF" button underneath GPM's name in the review. This means that he was given the CD and told to review it. It's Epitaph's fault if they send complete crap to a place where they know it wopn't get a good review.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

score is for agreeing with scott heisel. That makes you worthless too.

bryne (July 31, 2007)

I saw these guys open for MCS recently and everyone there seemed to fucking love them. I couldn't possibly understand why.

Thus_Spoke_Sean (July 31, 2007)

I have only heard the single from this album, the one about "how I role" and dispite how terrible it is, I still maintain that Cute is What We Aim for is the worst band ever.

At least the Higher HAVE a melody, I still can't believe that CIWWAF managed to put out a pop punk album WITHOUT melody. it's almost like a Andy Kaufman joke.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

i don't get this negativity. the album has, within this review, been described by two regulars as utter shit and rather than using the info to spend your money on a decent cd you bitch about the album being shit. get over it.

damnitsderek (July 31, 2007)

What the fuck was the point in even reviewing this band?

Holy_Balls (July 31, 2007)

Wow, I've read some shit reviews on this site lately.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

"I said it before, I'll say it again "If you ain't got nothing nice to say...""

I've said it before, I'll say it again: "Only reviewing good albums (or only printing good reviews) neuters a publication's reviews section."

This review is pretty good, for a bad review. There is reasoning stated as to why this record is not worth buying, and that is what is important in a negative review.

Score is for Hot Water Music, Epitaph's best band.

Dante3000 (July 31, 2007)

I said it before, I'll say it again "If you ain't got nothing nice to say..."
That said, High on Fire is gonna fuck someone up.
-Dante

NotPatriotic (July 31, 2007)

Epitaph says: â??The Higher prove that dance beats are the new power chords."

Read as: â??The Higher prove that metrosexual is the new dance beats.â?ť

hahahaha

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

I don't get, if someone hates a band, why do they review their CD? The member who reviewed this CD is obviously a fan of harder music from what I see of their previous reviews. I'm not sayin the higher is a great band, but no need to talk so much trash about it. One persons trash could be another persons treasure.

Anonymous (July 31, 2007)

Haha, I went there. Score is for the hilarity that ensued.

Exclusive Streams

Sponsored


Newest Reviews

Punknews.org Team

Other Places to Go