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Bad Religion - New Maps of Hell (Deluxe)
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Sound the Alarm released this debut full-length on a major (Geffen), which is quite an accomplishment for the boys, but there’s a good reason for the major label signing -- these guys are tailor-made to break into the public consciousness and attract hordes of 13-year-old girls. Just one look at them makes it obvious. You have a bunch of kids who need haircuts and are quite young (not young enough to think Santa Claus put the record contract under their tree, but young enough that they probably don’t know the locations of the warp whistles in "Super Mario Bros. 3") playing catchy tunes. Despite a press release that boasts of Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin influences, what you’re more likely to hear is influence from Yellowcard, the Academy Is…, Taking Back Sunday and other mall-punk acts (with a few hints of `90s radio rock).

The tracks are mostly chorus-driven pop-rock pieces that do everything to stress their catchy refrains. The lyrics are all filled with the teen angst you’d expect, and Howard Benson (who produced similar artists such as My Chemical Romance and the All-American Rejects) highlights it all with extremely smooth production. One point of interest on the disc is that these kids can really play their instruments -- some of the guitar solos busted out are quite impressive for the band’s young age, and shows some good creativity. Unfortunately, this is about all that stands out on these 12 tracks.

There really isn’t much to say about Sound the Alarm. While they do a fairly good job of this music, there is little on this album that disassociates the band from their contemporaries. The album will be loved by its target demographic, but in a year or two this disc will likely be all but forgotten.






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    Posted by Deadpan on 2007-08-13 12:28:01

    Yup. Imagine getting hit by those at 30mph. Even if it didn't kill him, Bowser would be seriously fucked up after that.

    Posted by joshcbfl on 2007-08-13 10:49:03

    Christ, Deadpan. You weren't kidding.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8e/Yo shitoshi_Rainy_Day_Tanuki.jpg

    Posted by Deadpan on 2007-08-12 16:31:25
    My Score:

    Tanooki Mario makes me laugh, because for some reason, Nintendo chose not to give him massive testicles like the Tanooki things of Japanese mythology. Shame. It would have been way cooler to use his giant balls as some kind of weapon instead of turning into a statue.

    Score's for mondo ball sacks.

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 11, 2007 at 4:51 PM (EDT)

    "I'm 26 and I can't remember where the whistles are. Time to break out the nintendo."

    1-3, you have to crouch on the long white block and go behind the scenery to the end of the stage

    First mini castle, Get the leaf and pick up speed...fly up to the top of the screen at the end of the stage and go all the way to the right and press down.

    2nd level - You have to get the hammer...I don't remember how...and break a rock and you'll get the 3rd, and final flute.

    Posted by daff on 2007-08-11 02:01:51

    I'm 26 and I can't remember where the whistles are. Time to break out the nintendo.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 10, 2007 at 11:29 PM (EDT)

    No way, Hammer Suit was best because you could kill ghosts with that thing.

    Posted by freesandwich on 2007-08-10 20:01:35
    My Score:

    Score is for the frog suit. That was pretty cool too.

    Posted by joshcbfl on 2007-08-10 18:33:31
    My Score:

    To this day, Tanooki Mario is my favorite. While the cape in Super Mario World was really cool, it has nothing on the Tanooki suit. Turning into a statue and crushing Goombas/Koopa Troopas was the shit.

    The score is for crushing the shit out of things.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 10, 2007 at 3:53 PM (EDT)

    STA sold 600 albums first week. Talk about tanking..

    Posted by brown on 2007-08-10 15:13:24

    5th world, the sky level.

    Posted by minus_20_scene_points on 2007-08-10 14:17:19
    My Score:

    my brain is failing me. i cannot for the life of me remember where to get the tanooki suit. some help, please?

    score is for tanooki suit/warp whistles.

    Posted by Conduit on 2007-08-10 13:14:38
    My Score:

    Score is, and only ever will be for warp whistles.

    Posted by trevor_the_exploder on 2007-08-10 12:59:53

    young enough that they probably don’t know the locations of the warp whistles in "Super Mario Bros. 3"

    best line i have ever read on this site. bravo sir.

    Posted by branden on 2007-08-10 12:36:21

    is there anybody in the world that doesnt know where the warp whistles are in super mario 3?

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