Chiodos - Bone Palace Ballet (Cover Artwork)


Chiodos: Bone Palace BalletBone Palace Ballet (2007)
Equal Vision Records

Reviewer Rating: 2
User Rating:

Contributed by: InaGreendaseBrian
(others by this writer | submit your own)

One would think that the opera of nü-emo was already delivered in 2006 by My Chemical Romance with The Black Parade. Alas, here are Chiodos with Bone Palace Ballet, their Bukowski-referencing sophomore full-length that mostly eschews their former, bizarre nü-screamo tendencies in favor of...well, .
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One would think that the opera of nü-emo was already delivered in 2006 by My Chemical Romance with The Black Parade. Alas, here are Chiodos with Bone Palace Ballet, their Bukowski-referencing sophomore full-length that mostly eschews their former, bizarre nü-screamo tendencies in favor of...well, an entirely more self-indulgent, overreaching version of said tendencies.

"Is It Progression If a Cannibal Uses a Fork?" reveals most of Chiodos' intentions, with Craig Owens' signature high-pitched singing, some classically integrated piano, riffs reeking of Coheedian guitar wankery (a comparison you're liable to agree with for a healthy portion of Ballet), a slowed down shouted part that blatantly bites the same from songs like Thursday's "Paris in Flames" and "Asleep in the Chapel," and generally little to latch onto besides the rare interesting vocal melody. Next up, "Lexington. (Joey Pea-Pot with a Monkey Face)" features finger snaps, a stomping horn section, and more pointless prog-rock showsmanship on the axe. Here and elsewhere, they still offer the occasional dog-barking scream, which sounds more out of place than ever. "Life Is a Perception of Your Own Reality" momentarily sounds like a cheesy De Beers commercial thanks to the violins that open it.

This all might sound cool on paper (to someone), but rarely is it actually likeable. Some bands manage to capture their ambitions into enjoyable slabs of musical craft, but not Chiodos. Every little trick that continuously pops up on Bone Palace Ballet sounds less impressive by the second and simply more annoying. It's all very theatrical...it's just not very good.

"A Letter from Janelle" works somewhat, as the band strip it of needless instrumentation, instead letting it flow as an atmospheric nü-post-hardcore song in the vein of their labelmates, Circa Survive, with a decent chorus to boot. Even here though, they manage to sound pretty derivative.

Bone Palace Ballet seems interesting at first for all that's going on, and the epic stratospheres Chiodos appear to consistently shoot for. But after repeated listens, it's revealed that the depth thought to exist here is merely ankle-high.

Is It Progression If a Cannibal Uses a Fork?

Lexington. (Joey Pea-Pot with a Monkey Face)
The Undertaker's Thirst for Revenge Is Unquenchable (The Final Battle)


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
alltheworldsastage (March 4, 2008)

amazing album from these guys
the progression in musicianship and musical styling shows growth and maturity as owens' lyrics become increasingly personal

xsummerxsaddismx (February 7, 2008)

I just got this album yesterday,
and I really havent had time to listen to it,
but so far its really good.

I really enjoy their music(:

i think its a really wonderful album.

Justlikeacat (December 24, 2007)

I refuse to listen to this CD, only because I think the graphics on the CD cover are TERRIBLE!. I love alls well that ends well, but I heard this album sucks, and I dont want to ruin my view of them. The cover looks like something good charlotte would do :S

hlywoodshorty13 (December 15, 2007)

ew. ok everyone who doesnt like this band becuase your "too hardcore for it"

wow shut up

people who like harder screamo are allowed to like this too

i love chiodos and sure they arent really that screamo but wow like realax everyone

they never called themselves hardcore

you did

so stop being haters cuz u all sound stupid.

The_Crowing (October 24, 2007)

Ya know? I liked this CD. I also liked the last one. They're not the best, but to me, they're above average. 4 out of 5

abrrock (October 15, 2007)

is this band name spanish for chodes?

star6nine (October 14, 2007)

did gerard way draw these goofy little skeletons or something? for a band who sure seems to think they are all intellectual and serious, they have some silly crap for their artwork.

sweetsuperior (October 14, 2007)

nu-post-hardcore? give me a break...

OverDefined (October 14, 2007)

All of you need to go back to Absolutepunk.net

This band isn't even worth commenting on.

pavement (October 13, 2007)

this is so BORING!!!!
worst band ever!

Jesus_H_Christ (October 13, 2007)

Like most people it seems my friends really, really dig this band. I never really understood why. I mean, they seem like cool guys (said friends once managed to sneak them some pot and the band thanked them by smoking it by themselves...oh wait...). I tried listening to the Lexington song. I got maybe 30 seconds into it before the urge to impale myself on a rusty sword flooded my brain.

Conclusion: Chiodos is a mental health hazard.


SlackMFr (October 13, 2007)

This band Chiodos, tell me....can they fit in my garbage disposal?

SilentStorms (October 13, 2007)

To Kursk:

Yeah I agree that Fall of Troy is pretentious, but as we both can appreciate, at least they can afford to be. Too many bands are egotistical nowadays, and usually they should be crying over the shit they are releasing. Fall Out Boy, I'm looking in your direction.

Holy_Balls (October 13, 2007)

If I had a vagina, I still wouldn't like this band.

cheesetits (October 12, 2007)

Definitely the worst singer in the scene right now, MY GOD.

victim (October 12, 2007)

Bands using Bukowski references lately just seem to suck.


(sorry I couldn't resist)

Kursk (October 12, 2007)

i agree 100% with silentstorms, even though The Fall Of Troy come off kind of pretentious themselves a lot of the time in my opinion, at least they're doing stuff a little more original. Oh yeah, and they shred in a punk manner and not a prog manner.

xkingbuzzox (October 12, 2007)

This shit sucks. My friend loves them and kept telling me this album was amazing and would change my opinion on them and it did. After hearing it I hate them even more. Bands using Bukowski references lately just seem to suck.

jeffrichey (October 12, 2007)

This band is a symbol of everything that is wrong with independent music today. They are the complete opposite of what we need right now.

crazytoledo (October 12, 2007)

Haha,fuck I need to proofread once in awhile.

crazytoledo (October 12, 2007)

This band has one of the worst bands out there. It seriously doesn't help that little scene kids on myspace talk consider this to be like the best band ever. It makes me sick.

SilentStorms (October 12, 2007)

I never understood why all my friends thought these guys were so good. They just tried to take the good parts from other bands and mesh them all together. I think they sound kind of fake. I'll listen to Fall of Troy over these guys any day.

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