When I first heard the news about Fucked Up's newest release I was, for lack of a better word, stoked. I must admit, I have a huge hard-on for Fucked Up, and this new 7" sounded nothing short of spectacular. Song from the new full-length album? Collaborations with Nelly Furtado, Cole Alexander, Davey Havok, and Scott Vogel? Limited edition? Sign me the fuck up! So, when a little package containing a 7" wrapped in handmade wrapping paper (no joke, it had the little Fucked Up sigil all over it), you can imagine how excited I was. So how does the record stack up against the hype / my aforementioned expectations? Let's find out...

The A-side contains the main song, "David Christmas," which serves as the teaser for Fucked Up's next album, The Chemistry of Common Life. Though the song may be interpreted in multiple ways (á la most of Fucked Up's releases), the basic theme of the song is that Christmas is messed up and instead of worshiping Jesus, we should worship Fucked Up's "manager," David Eliade (who may or may not actually be a real human being). The lyrics are very well-written but poorly delivered, and Pink Eyes almost seems bored and uninterested, which is contradictory to the pissed-off tone normally associated with him.

The song itself sounds overly poppy for a Fucked Up song as well. Even the 18-minute long "Year of the Pig" has more of the band's signature "edge" to it than "David Christmas." While the guitars retain the "Fucked Up sound" and the drums pound out a routine mid-tempo beat, there is a certain lack of aggression that I had come to expect from a Fucked Up song. Still, after repeated listens, I came to enjoy the song a bit more than my initial listens. The guitars are quite catchy, and it's fun to hear them play around with some sped up Sonic Youth-esque harmonies. One should also note that this record marks the first appearance of "Young Governor," who is really Ben Cook of Guns U... I mean No Warning fame, as the third guitarist.

The over-hyped B-side is entitled "Stars on 45" and merely contains various friends of Fucked Up giving out their Holiday Wishes via rare vinyl while 10,000 Marbles pounds out some soothing renditions of Christmas Carols. Most of the stars previously slated to appear show up, but a few weren't available for a shout-out (they apparently "tried calling David Cross like 10 times"). Really, the only ones worth noting are Cole Alexander wishing everyone a happy Kwanzaa, Jay Retard wishing everyone "a happy dead baby day," and Jerry A giving any holiday wishes at all. On a more personal note, it was funny hearing supreme hottie Shenae Grimes wish everyone a "merry fucking whatever" after watching her play a conservative Christian chick on Degrassi for like two years now. 1000 punk points to Ms. Grimes... I'll never view Darcy the same way ever again.

Bottom line: If you actually ordered the 7" you probably don't care what this review says. If you didn't, it's not worth shelling out $20 on eBay to get one, especially since Fucked Up posted an MP3 of "David Christmas" on their blog about three weeks after the records shipped. This release made me even more anxious to hear another full-length from these guys, despite my less than excited reception of this song. Come on boys, it's time.