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Size 14 - Size 14 (Cover Artwork)

Size 14

Size 14: Size 14Size 14 (1997)
volcano

Reviewer Rating: 5


Contributed by: ChrisGorman2Chris Gorman
(others by this writer | submit your own)

This is one of the most under-appreciated albums of 1997. In the year of ska-pop, Size 14 put out 14 tracks of pure power-pop bliss. Musically, their sound is so generic, that its hard to decribe. Think 3rd Eye Blind and Sum 41 jamming out at Weezers house. So yeah, musically, this band is nothing.
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This is one of the most under-appreciated albums of 1997. In the year of ska-pop, Size 14 put out 14 tracks of pure power-pop bliss. Musically, their sound is so generic, that its hard to decribe. Think 3rd Eye Blind and Sum 41 jamming out at Weezers house. So yeah, musically, this band is nothing special. However, its the lyrics that make this whole thing work.

From beginning to end, this CD is a laugh riot. The first single, "Clare Danes Poster" is an ode to just that. The hook is undeniable- "Im gonna pick up some beer/stay at home/and stare at my Clare Danes poster". So stupid, yet so true. From there, each song is a poppy alt-punk masterpiece. "Sleeping in the Wet Spot", "People Get Really Drunk in Las Vegas" and "Earthquake" are jaded songs to an ex-lover, while songs like "Death Metal Steve" and "Superbabe 2000" are more positive in their view of love. See a pattern here? While the music itself is serious, in that 3rd Eye Blind coffee house kind of way, the lyrics are absolutely absurd. The album isn't a big joke, but it definitely does not take itself too seriously.

So if you are thinking this isn't punk, yeah you are probably right. Its about as punk as say, Blink-182, Sum-41 and Good Charlotte. Still, I encourage you punkers to pick this up and have a good laugh. Most punks I know could relate to songs like "Formula Guy" with lyrics like "I like top 40 radio, the only way to go if your a love song fan". The song totally bashes on the steak-head, frat boy mentality (disclaimer: I do not feel that all frat boys are steak heads, nor do I discourage difference of opinion. The song is just funny.).

In summary, each song is a gem. Whether it be the tortured lament of "Shane" - "Shane, Shane, get out of my brain/My VCR's broken and my hands in pain" or the victorious strains of "I touched Her Ass" - " I touched her ass/ and it felt like heaven", each song is a keeper, and the album never hits a low point. Even the last track, which is nothing more than an answering machine recording, is hilarious. I highly suggest getting this disc. Recommended if you like: Weezer, Sum-41, The Vandals, Ozma, Mest

 

 
People who liked this also liked:
The Clash - The ClashDescendents - SomeryMe First and the Gimme Gimmes - Have Another BallLagwagon - I Think My Older Brother Used to Listen to LagwagonMetallica - ...And Justice for AllNo Fun At All - Big KnockoverNo Fun At All - State Of FlowNo Fun At All - No Straight AnglesRancid - The Music Videos: 1993-2003 DVDRise Against - Appeal to Reason

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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
powerpopper (February 9, 2013)

Awesome band. I've done a 2013 News Update on what the band are up to now

http://www.subtitlemeplease.com/2013/02/size-14-claire-dan es-poster-90s-band.html

xxjohnnyrocketxx (December 29, 2006)

This is one of my favorite albums ever. And I bought myself a new copy of it on amazon for $2. If you don't have this album, and you like any of the music on this website, you are missing out.

These are catchy, great songs, that are timeless. Buy it.

Anonymous (December 14, 2001)

Wasn't John Prine in that hope conspiracy band or something?

Anonymous (December 14, 2001)

To the person ABOVE me. You are an idiot. Everyone knows that John Prine had nothing to do with the hope conspiracy. I don't even think he's into hardcore! Please think before you write stupid comments.

-Rory

Anonymous (December 12, 2001)

i remember hearing "clair danes poster" on the radio, and i liked it a little, but not enough to buy it. please, never mention third eye blind again, EVER. it brings back horrid memories of a pathetic high school talent show.- fathead

Anonymous (December 12, 2001)

Hahaha...this band epitomizes douche-rock. This record is a fuckin blast from start to finish. The singer's voice is so effeminate; it sounds like he's getting cornholed. I love Death Metal Steve and it's Napalm Death-mocking interludes. Oh yeah...the band broke up. Bummer.

Anonymous (December 11, 2001)

I didn't know that anyone else had any idea who Size 14 was. I still listen to this one from time to time now, it's the kind of tongue-in-cheek pop rock that bands like Nerf Herder wish they could play. They're long gone as far as I know, I'd still like to know what happened to them.

Joe
gotpunk.com

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