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Potential Reactions to A Twist in My Story by Secondhand Serenade:

  1. Wow, this Dashboard Confessional album sucks.
  2. Wow, this Ryan Cabrera album rocks!
  3. Holy shit that’s a lot of blood.
Chris Carrabba tribute act Secondhand Serenade returned this year with sophomore effort A Twist in My Story. Presumably, the twist is using a real band and not just Pro Tools like on first album Awake. I’m not the type to use the phrase “musical abortion” often, but this album does feature lyrics like “Goodbyes are meant for lonely people / standing in the rain,” “I dream a lot / I know you say you’ve got to get away,” and “Stay with me or watch me bleed,” all of which come from the first track, “Like a Knife.”

Putting aside the melodrama and watered-down musical accompaniment (what’s with the constant strings/over-emoting combo? Is this guy trying to get on VH1’s "You Oughta Know"?), the record is a failure even by its own standards -- namely, it rips off Dashboard Confessional without contributing anything more interesting. A common DC criticism is the lyrics. Fans like them for being raw and to the point, but others hate them for lacking nuance. Secondhand Serenade mastermind John Vesely takes shitting out raw, unsubtle, high school-level poetry to a new low. I’ll put it this way, DC fans: Secondhand Serenade is what your friends hear when you make them sit through So Impossible for the umpteenth time.

All A Twist in My Story offers are 11 overproduced, badly written tales of love lost, found, and lost again. These songs are terrible, bland to the point that it hurts. And it never gets better. My God it never gets better, no matter how many times you spin the got-damn disc to find something nice to say about it. This is the kind of music that makes you sterile.






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    Posted by mattramone on 2008-06-06 00:43:24

    Blood just shot out of my ears.

    Posted by holy_balls on 2008-06-05 02:14:13

    boys only listen to this guy with hopes of meeting a chick to give the shocker to. girls listen to this guy to get the shocker. two pink/one stink/life rules

    Posted by scientistrock on 2008-06-04 23:58:04

    This man looks like a walking turd, and the 30 seconds of a song I heard on his myspace made me wish that music never happened.

    Posted by Jelone on 2008-06-04 23:07:36

    Hey man, Phil Collins is totally punk rock! He's got on sneakers, and a suit! It's crazy!

    Posted by tmfxjohn on 2008-06-04 13:30:00
    My Score:

    this shit makes phil collins look like glenn danzig

    worst thing i've ever heard.

    actually, there is something worse...

    www.myspace.com/controlledriot

    Posted by baseball on 2008-06-04 11:52:07
    My Score:

    Saw a video of this guy at the gym, thought it was Dashboard Confessional. They sound exactly the same, exactly. This is awful.

    Posted by rocktopus on 2008-06-03 23:07:11

    A MySpace comment...

    "ohhh my word secondhand serenade i have never heard music like yours its the best you really know how to get to someones heart........wow your lyrics your words all perfect and that beautiful voice of yours you have a gift to entertain but also a gift in my personal opinion of saying all the things that girls just wanna hear wonderful beautiful songs i love them all awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww were are all the guys like you!!! lol
    luv your music"

    Seriously though, whilst looking at these comments I vomited, and it went on fire.

    Posted by inagreendase on 2008-06-03 17:43:23

    I wonder how it'll pan out.

    It already is, unfortunately. Dude's on the music networks like white on rice.

    Posted by Dante3000 on 2008-06-03 16:43:39

    I saw this dude at a coffee shop back in the day. I think I nearly shat blood listening to him. I kind of figured he'd be popular, I wonder how it'll pan out.
    -Dante

    Posted by JaredK on 2008-06-03 15:05:05

    Glad to see posting an incredibly gay looking banner on this site does not get you good reviews.

    Posted by red_eye_inc on 2008-06-03 14:44:51
    My Score:

    This spiked and highlited little turd is such an incredible homo it defies belief

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