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Awesome! I get to review a CD-R by a band from Ohio! Ohio is, of course, my least favorite of the 48 contiguous states. I won’t hold SSCP’s location against them, though. I mean, why spite the band for their home state when I can deride their music?

Putting the horribly titled Balls…Pure Balls on is like stepping into a time machine that transports you back to the early `90s. Also, if you’re like me, and not from Berkeley, CA, it’s like stepping into a…place machine as well. SSCP trades in slightly poppy Bay Area-style hardcore punk with a sense of “humor.” There are 19 songs, most of which are 30 or 40 seconds long, in the CD’s 15 minutes. This isn’t because anything is played exceptionally fast. Rather, SSCP play under the impression that their sound has less pop-punk than it actually does. The “hardcore” song lengths truncate the hooky chord progressions, leaving each tune sounding bland and half-baked. SSCP address this very criticism on the eight-second “City Club”: "You want it a little slower?/ We’ll play it a little faster / You want it a little longer? / Is this long enough?"

Yes, I’m sure that’s a very “fuck you, I’m punk” statement, but maybe once in a while it would be good to have a song that doesn’t sound like jokey filler. Hm.

The early `90s time warp is also fucking with my head a little bit. SSCP apes a little bit of sandpapery pop from the Krupted Peasant Farmerz, shoves ska breakdowns in places where the sun don’t shine and obnoxiously titles every song like Dillinger Four. Admittedly, “I Fell Down the Stairs and Got a Sofa Lodged in My Uterus” is a pretty fucking awesome ridiculous song title, but “Kelly Osbourne Is a Fat Bitch”? “I Pulled the Plug on Terri Schiavo”? Grow up, dudes. Not funny.

Unfortunately, SSCP (what the hell does that stand for?) hasn’t changed my opinion of the Buckeye State. Still, Ohio is better than Guam. Oh my God, I fucking hate Guam. (Apologies to all Punknews readers from Guam.)






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    Posted by medic366 on 2008-08-19 02:07:35

    sscp ( swamp stompin cunt punchers ) i love sscp

    Posted by ven89 on 2008-07-18 00:53:00

    [i]I can't tell if his definition of what/who the whole Terry Schiavo thing is a joke or not.[/i]

    Well, she was bulimic, that's why she went into the vegetative state.

    Posted by Rastid on 2008-07-17 23:22:45

    i haven't heard the album, but i will disagree with the reviewer on one thing... the album title is hilarious.

    Posted by Torgo on 2008-07-17 04:12:55

    As for "terry schiavo". The lady was an idiot. Anyone who starves themselves deserves to... Well you get the rest. I mean come on.... She had it coming.

    I can't tell if his definition of what/who the whole Terry Schiavo thing is a joke or not.

    Posted by dudenamedkyle111 on 2008-07-17 01:57:44

    We go for a pop-punk hardcore thing. We are all not so closet pop-punk lovers. I(Cody) have an MxPx tattoo for fucks sake. As well as a Delay tattoo. We have never claimed to be "hardcore", we just have bit of an influence.

    You ask for influences and now i will give them. In no order... Kid Dynamite, Limp Wrist, New Found Glory. There ya go.

    As for "terry schiavo". The lady was an idiot. Anyone who starves themselves deserves to... Well you get the rest. I mean come on.... She had it coming. Was it to soon for that kind of joke? Next time ill make fun of the thousands that died in New York. Again too soon. Damn.

    As for Kelly Osbourne. All she did was bitch on that damn TV show of hers. Also she is chubby. There for that makes her a fat bitch.

    I do respect your review and i thank you for actually reviewing it. Everyone has their own opinion.

    I also hate Ohio.

    -Cody

    Posted by feeeding5000 on 2008-07-16 17:11:17

    I'm curious, Kyle: what are your influences? What kind of band did you want to make? Thanks.

    Posted by dudenamedkyle111 on 2008-07-16 17:10:20

    its cool if you dont like our music. were not doing it to impress anyone. its simply what we like to do.

    crass ain't our thing either.

    thanks to everyone that does enjoy us though!

    Posted by xkingbuzzox on 2008-07-16 16:47:37

    Really, what do you have against Ohio?

    Posted by feeeding5000 on 2008-07-16 16:07:41

    Swamp Stomping Cunt Punchers...

    I don't like this band. Other than the fact that it came out a little more dickish than I intended, I stand by this review. Did not enjoy the demo.

    Posted by nathanw on 2008-07-16 12:21:18

    The major flaw in your whole "I'm an asshole I just don't give a fuck hee hee hee I'll say whatever the fuck I want" review is that never once does SSCP claim to be extremely hardcore. Clearly you wanted something like that though, so you made some horrible reference to one of their lyrics. I'm sure if they were playing for the standards of a crass loving online punknews reviewer, things would be different. BUT THEY AREN'T!

    Posted by inagreendase on 2008-07-16 11:38:41

    give small time awsome punk rock bands a fucking break.

    We do this all the time. When they're good, I mean.

    Posted by crippledbadger on 2008-07-16 10:57:31

    swap stompin' cunt punchers is what it stands for and these guys fucking rule! they take alot of shit in their cleveland scene, most of which they don't deserve. If these guys come through your town. check em' out, because you will have a good time. with their high energy - high powered presence, awsome vocals and kick ass drums. your opinion will be changed.

    To the guy that wrote the review on balls... pure balls.
    fuck you. give small time awsome punk rock bands a fucking break.

    Posted by dudenamedkyle111 on 2008-07-16 03:31:38

    yeah fuck sscp!

    they suck ass.

    even though im the drummer.

    Posted by tmfxjohn on 2008-07-16 00:28:30

    they don't acknowledge the "swamp stomping cunt punchers" thing anymore because of some shit with an old guitarist.

    nice guys, cody gave our bass player a lap dance

    Posted by damnitsderek on 2008-07-15 23:55:50

    I really enjoyed reading this review. This band looks like they sound abysmal, too. "I Pulled the Plug on Terri Schiavo?" What the hell? Not clever, not witty, not funny. Total miss.

    Posted by lostandclowned on 2008-07-15 20:35:11

    those song titles are lame.

    Posted by icapped2pac on 2008-07-15 18:21:01

    "place machine" hahahahahahaha

    Posted by superskabro on 2008-07-15 12:49:02
    My Score:

    SSCP = Swamp Stomping Cunt Punchers. Check'em out live. fun stuff.

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