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Crash Romeo - Gave Me the Clap (Cover Artwork)

Crash Romeo

Crash Romeo: Gave Me the ClapGave Me the Clap (2008)
Trustkill Records

Reviewer Rating: 2


Contributed by: JeloneJelone
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Pop punk is a kid's game. Or at least, pop punk of the post-blink-182 variety. The nasally, nearly prepubescent vocals, adolescent, male-centric angst, and super clean musical compositions really only stuck with me when I was still in high school, circa ages 14-17. Post-blink, like Neverland, is not.
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Pop punk is a kid's game. Or at least, pop punk of the post-blink-182 variety. The nasally, nearly prepubescent vocals, adolescent, male-centric angst, and super clean musical compositions really only stuck with me when I was still in high school, circa ages 14-17. Post-blink, like Neverland, is not for registered voters, legal drinkers, or anyone who owns a gun. In fact, don't bother the guy holding the gun with this trite.

Age is what ultimately holds me back from enjoying post-blink pop punk, other than the bands I already loved back in high school. Case in point: When listening to Crash Romeo's new album Gave Me the Clap, I took breaks to listen to my own music, just so I could get the taste of sugar and gonorrhea out of my mouth. The records I unthinkingly turned to were August Premier's Fireworks and Alcohol and Midtown's Save the World, Lose the Girl, two records which I'm sure bothered old people upon their release. Hell, punknews heavyweight greg0rb himself thought Fireworks and Alcohol was shit back in 2003.

The point of this extended ramble is this: I hate Crash Romeo, and I don't know if it's because they legitimately suck, or because, like Danny Glover, I'm getting too old for this shit. The band offers nothing lyrically insightful (fave lines: "I wanna feel it / Can you feel it, yeah / I wanna see you rip my heart out / And give it back to me the way it used to be") nor musically compelling. It's all spit-shined vocals and sterile guitar chords. It's like if Simple Plan collectively had their heads caved with rocks, but retained the part of the brain that allows them to play instruments. At least the title is kinda funny.

The songs are also funny, but unintentionally so. In a way, I don't even need to write a review, since you could easily check out Matt Whelihan's review of the band's first album (Hey Matt, careful with the sarcasm next time. CR's publicist quoted your review like it was a good thing). Crash Romeo has achieved zero artistic growth between LPs one and two. There's precious little to entice listeners, unless you like your Starting Line tunes reheated and overproduced. Even when the band bothers to cough up a decent hook, like on the title track, they end up abusing it until it's lost all meaning. When Crash Romeo called their record Gave Me the Clap, they weren't kidding. These guys are about as enticing as a painful vaginal discharge.

 


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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
hobostylee (November 5, 2010)

My old band opened for them a few years ago. They requested a large pizza, two bags of chips and beer I believe, as well as to be paid. They wouldn't play until they were given said items. They drew nobody.

SilentStorms (August 8, 2008)

Thank you for the Predator 2 quote! I love that shit! But not this band. Still, "Danny-boy!"

Score's for the first 2 Predator movies.

TROOF (August 6, 2008)

"Itâ??s like if Simple Plan collectively had their heads caved with rocks, but retained the part of the brain that allows them to play instruments"
HAHAHA!!

Mrdogg45 (August 6, 2008)

Just curious, but how does this get posted as a review? It doesn't tell anyone anything about the album, just that this reviewer hates a particular band... if I hate a band enough, can I write a shitty review about their CD's too?

I don't know man, I have to disagree. He touches on the band's genre, their lyrics, what they sound like, and their production.

Sure, it's not a track-by-track breakdown or anything, but it hits all the basics. What's more, how much can one really say about a produced, pop-punk album? You'll love it or you'll hate it, you know?

holy_balls (August 6, 2008)

i would rather walk in to a public restroom and listen to a guy take a huge diarrhea shit than listen to this.

-Strewtho- (August 5, 2008)

That picture is gold, they are all trying to look tuff and punx.

ddb43 (August 5, 2008)

This band is terrible.

bryne (August 5, 2008)

Hilarious.

BigDaddy287 (August 5, 2008)

Just curious, but how does this get posted as a review? It doesn't tell anyone anything about the album, just that this reviewer hates a particular band... if I hate a band enough, can I write a shitty review about their CD's too?

mystereohasmono (August 5, 2008)

Take a gander at this band of mutants:
http://radmusic.tblog.jp/images/crash_romeo.jpg

That guys head must weigh at least 13lbs.

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