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I'm sure that I have no credibility left whatsoever, so I'm just gonna go ahead and review the new Plain White T's album. You're probably thinking, "What's next, Hannah Montana?" and I'd be lying if I said that I would never go that far.

I'm a slave to pop music -- there, I said it. In the case of the Plain White T's, what used to be cutesy pop-punk has now lost any hint of punk, and replaced it with acoustics in some songs and dance beats in others. Believe it or not, 2008's Big Bad World is actually their fifth full length since forming in 1997. That's pretty legit, considering 75% of their fans didn't even know they existed until the 2006 single "Hey There Delilah." Based on the popularity and constant airplay that song received, it's obvious that the group followed suit with "1, 2, 3, 4." It's slow, it's extremely cute, and it seems that they've taken a lesson or two on what to say to make 14-year-old girls swoon. Masters of the cute card, there's no denying that they know how to make your heart melt...

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad / best that I've had / I'm so glad i found you / I love being around you, you make it easy / It's easy as 1, 2, 1 2 3 4... There's only 1 thing 2 do, 3 words 4 you... I love you
Barf! When I said I was a slave to pop music, that's not exactly what I had in mind.

Forget about the lyrics and the constant "oooh"s, "doo doo doo"s and "la la la"s for a second, though, and the album isn't all bad. Adopting a slightly more mature sound mimicking that of the Early November (particularly 'Mother' from The Mother, The Mechanic and the Path) incorporating horns, violin and harmonica, the Plain White boys have the verses down to a "T," but they can never seem to hold it together in the chorus. In "Meet Me in California" or "Natural Disaster," for example, both start off sounding like good, upbeat, unique pop songs, but as soon as they cross that bridge they fall apart into cheesy doughy lame poop. And then there's "Sunrise," which loosely sounds like Pink Floyd meets the Beatles meets the Backstreet Boys. Interesting, to say the least.

Fun fact: Most of these songs are about sex!






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    Posted by shitstorm on 2008-10-14 18:12:30
    My Score:

    love this album. didn't think that i would like it more than the last but it surprised me and i did! you need to go buy this album!

    Posted by xXBeautifulOblivionXx on 2008-09-29 12:36:59

    If they could focus on something other than sex in their songs, they would be ok. But the only song I actually like is "Hey There Delila"

    Posted by icapped2pac on 2008-09-26 16:42:42

    Not my band, dickbag. I haven't been in a band since college. And yes, I'm bitter about that, among other things. However, that does not change the fact that I can't stand this trite pop bullshit.

    Posted by friokir on 2008-09-26 10:21:28

    a decent review - a pat on the back.

    Posted by almostpunkenough on 2008-09-26 08:37:06

    *facepalm*

    for what it's worth, though, this is an infinitley better review that the self-righteous drivel over at AP.net where their reviewer (and his apparently tiny penis) just tore this band to shreds to make himself feel better (about being a writer for AP.net, i'm assuming (and, of course, having a tiny penis)).

    Posted by mattramone on 2008-09-26 04:05:47

    Words cannot express.

    Posted by inagreendase on 2008-09-24 23:56:33

    Man, I was all about that Knockout CD for the first three months I had it.

    Posted by Animal26 on 2008-09-24 18:44:07

    jeez... haters.org this guy below me is a perfect example. "your band sucks. my band rules" sure, dude. can't wait to check it out.

    Posted by icapped2pac on 2008-09-24 17:08:06
    My Score:

    This douchebag bullshit music doesn't matter because Racing Exit 13 finally put up their album for download via SnoCap on their myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/racingexit13

    Score is for them.

    Posted by damnitsderek on 2008-09-24 12:09:18

    They look like a bad doo wop gang.

    Posted by swarley on 2008-09-24 10:11:49

    That IS a Fun Fact!

    Posted by ddb43 on 2008-09-24 09:20:20

    This band is terrible. I actually listened to some of this on myspace, and afterwads I had to go straight to the Off With Their Heads page to get that shit taste out of my mouth. My ears might not ever fully recover!

    Posted by fallingupwards84 on 2008-09-24 09:05:50

    I'm sure that I have no credibility left whatsoever

    Did you have any credibility in the first place on here? I've never heard of you before.

    Posted by timorous_me on 2008-09-23 22:54:26

    This band always reminds me of the days before ipods, when I always kept the Thick OIL comp in the car and always skipped these guys.

    That comp was awesome, this band is not.

    Posted by greg0rb on 2008-09-23 21:30:13

    It's funny, I was just talking about these guys and how weird it is they got so big, because my old band (also based in Chicago) played with them a couple of times. Once was maybe 2001 and it was in a coffee shop in Rock Island, IL. They did a pretty sweet cover of Livin' on a Prayer and for some reason I got their self-released CD called Come on Over. I should sell it on eBay probably. I think only two of those dudes are still in the band, but we also played with Demar's old band Knockout and he is a pretty kickass drummer. Anyways... I've incriminated myself enough for the night...

    Posted by darthnader on 2008-09-23 18:50:53
    My Score:

    this review never makes a point

    Posted by conebone69 on 2008-09-23 18:24:49
    My Score:

    Score is for the review

    I've never heard of this band and I have no intention of checking them out.

    When it comes to cutesy music, I'll stick with NKOTB

    Posted by mikexdude on 2008-09-23 18:19:14
    My Score:

    Ooooooooooooooooh, it's what you do to meeeeeee...

    Posted by SydBarrett420 on 2008-09-23 17:48:30
    My Score:

    Score is for Crystal Meth

    Posted by Nick_V on 2008-09-23 17:39:57

    "This band sucks more than a fat chick infront of you at a buffet ... Her and her fat mom should be at the salad bar. Not eating pie. Fuck."

    And seriously, what is it with parking meters? Do they exist in some parallel dimension where an hour only lasts a few minutes? I swear, you can put ten bucks into the damn thing, it'll never give you enough time. You'll get back from Burger King or whatever, and BOOM! There's a parking ticket! Those meters are somethin' else, I tell ya...

    Posted by freesandwich on 2008-09-23 17:29:39
    My Score:

    I slang in my white tee. I bang in my white tee.

    Posted by Holy_Balls on 2008-09-23 17:20:51

    This band sucks more than a fat chick infront of you at a buffet. Not only is she ugly, she'll probably get the last piece of apple pie. I hate that bitch. Her and her fat mom should be at the salad bar. Not eating pie. Fuck.

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