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The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Lonely Road (2009)
EMI Group

Reviewer Rating:

Contributed by: lifetime_
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on March 17th 2009

Pop-punk and power-pop are a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine. When it’s done well it can be a lot of fun and I have no problem buying into it. For this reason, I decided to give the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus’ Lonely Road a chance. At about the 30-second mark of the first song it was already apparent that I had just voluntarily dove face first into the biggest pile of garbage of all time, and looking back on the experience all I can say is I’m happy I made it out alive.

Lonely Road is crammed full of some of the most mundane, unimaginative, and at times completely ridiculous songs I’ve ever heard. Lyrically lazy, most every song is limited to two lackluster verses and a forgettable chorus that feature poetry you could reasonably expect from an eighth grader. Instrumentals are exceptionally weak across the whole album. Each song follows the same formula and very little effort is put into diversifying them. On occasion a pinch-harmonic is thrown in but it seems that no one mentioned to the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus that making your guitar squeal doesn’t count as being able to play the guitar.

Quite frankly there is nothing on this album that I would consider a redeeming quality. Most notable screw-ups include the country-rock title track, “Lonely Road,” which takes a page out of Kid Rock’s book, complete with a backing choir joining in for the chorus of “And Lord, it’s a lonely road…” and the ironic “Pen & Paper,” the subject of which is how things that have no substance will fade away and be forgotten. Also of note is the extremely out of place and very poorly executed Vietnam remembrance jam, “Godspeed,” that closes the album.

The only thing of value that has come out of this album is the definition of bottom of the barrel. Don’t waste your time on this album. It's too bad there's no way to rate it with a zero.

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TEARS (March 25, 2009)

you guys play a really awesome band when I went to your concert at alb. New Mexico

sweetsugarpezz (March 20, 2009)

you know super fan, kevin james isn't really that funny.

SloaneDaley (March 20, 2009)

shit sucks, bam roasted.

SloaneDaley (March 20, 2009)

shit sucks. bam, roasted.

SloaneDaley (March 20, 2009)

shit sucks. bam, roasted.

KevinJamesSuperFan (March 19, 2009)

"The only reason I like Teenage Bottlerocket is because they are on a small label."

Your missing the point. It's about how someone gets criticized for saying that they don't mind these guys because teenagers are always going to want something poppy to listen to and that'swhy it sells. Who cares, if you don't like it don't listen to it.

However, a band like a Teenage Bottlerocket which albiet, very broadly generalized falls into the same catagory of music would never get criticized, beacuse they are still considered a 'punk rock" band, almost exclusively because of there recording quality and devotion to the Ramones over say Fall Out Boy or something like that.

Just because a band is poppy and mainstream doesn't mean that peple shouldn't be able to enjoy them and state it without being criticzed and given an example of a so called "real punk rock band" When said band is essentially a third wave Ramones rip off with god awful lyrics and unoriginal songwriting. How is that any better than Red Junpsuit Apparatus being a second generation Fall Out Boy rip off?

Different people from different generations have different influences.

And no, I don't have much faith in people who post on this site. I've been coming here for about 10 years now, give or take and am disgusted by the fact that every mention of a mainstream band is met with complete lack of regard for other peopels taste.

Every fucking posted involving bands such as, NIN, Counting Crowes, jane's Addiction, etc. is met with dozens of posts about how bad they suck and how anyone who listens to them is a musically uneducated idiot. Why not let people like what they like?

Read the fucking point of the site;

"Punknews.org was founded in 1998. We published our first story in October of 1999. Our mandate is to provide an inclusive community-based site for the delivery and discussion of music news surrounding punk, ska, hardcore, emo, metal and indie. "

The fact that people here miss the objective by so much, is frustrating. It's a site for music lovers interested in what appears to be ROCK music, not just anundergound "punk rock" site devoted to eliteist snobs who think they're cooler than everyone else until their favorite band signs to Virgin and starts glossing up there records. Than it time to rag on the kid wo didn't hear about said band until they went mainstream and tell...it's fucking sad.

Let people like what the fuck they wat and leave them alone. And yes I think Red Jumpsuit Apparatus are pretty awful, but I couldn't care less if someone else like them and I think Teenae Bottlerocket are just as bad.

mikexdude (March 18, 2009)

Givemeyouranusandillfillit, wasting time arguing with a seventeen year old is much worse than me wasting "time" (when I do my homework) writing smart ass comments.

; )

Also, I listened to this album, and it's as bad as I would have guessed. And not because they're mainstream.

givemeamuseumandillfillit (March 18, 2009)

Well, then you're just sad.

Once you grow a bit older you'll be thinking "why the hell did i waste my time when i was 17?"

mikexdude (March 18, 2009)

"There's no need to critize anyone for liking ANYTHING, and you'll understand that once you grow a bit older"

You've taken me seriously for way too goddamn long. EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN ASSHOLE REMARK THAT I DON'T MEAN HALF THE TIME.

Except that.

Or is it?

chrisafi (March 18, 2009)

Weakass album.

If you are going to slag something off you need to do better than lame, generic descriptions; otherwise you are just as bad as said band.

Having said that I actually downloaded this album and it sucks.

givemeamuseumandillfillit (March 18, 2009)

Ok mikexdude, link your band right now.

There's no need to critize anyone for liking ANYTHING, and you'll understand that once you grow a bit older.

the_other_scott (March 18, 2009)

its funny how a review like this makes me more interested in hearing this band than a good review would. i guess its like the same effect of slowing down near an accident just to see how bad it was.

mikexdude (March 18, 2009)

"I don't deny that TB are "no-BS" and if that's you're thing great, but why can't someone think the same about RJA and not be criticzed by other posters as the dude below was? The answer = because they're mainstream"

I criticize people who like what I don't, mainstream or not. Like Face to Face or skate punk in general.

slymer (March 18, 2009)

The only reason I like Teenage Bottlerocket is because they are on a small label.

mikexdude (March 18, 2009)

KevinJamesSuperFan

A lot of us have an obvious liking of Green Day, some Katy Perry, SydBarrett likes 311, you have very little faith in the people of this site. Mainstream doesn't mean much, sometimes it really is just shit. Atleast TB is a familiar sound.

SilentStorms (March 18, 2009)

I would take the latter Screeching Weasel cds over the Ramones any day. Including today! I loooove punk music but the first wave of punk (the Sex Pistols, the Clash, the Ramones, the the) never appealed to me. I was engrossed by the post Bad Religion (aka second wave) of punk. People have their opinions, and I wouldn't single anyone out for having different views on that. Score is for the haters who just bitch about everything with nothing positive to add to the thread (aka conversation).

KevinJamesSuperFan (March 18, 2009)

"Seriously dude, listen to teenage bottlerocket and then listen to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, compare the two, you will then be a better individual"

I wouldn't talk shit about a band I've never heard. Red Jumpsuit Aparatus certainly does suck, they're awful. My post being that they are a poppy rock band, which despite any differences you may see, if you were to broadly generalize, would also be the catagory that Teenage Bottlerocket falls into...it's all fast guitar music with poppy melodies.

The big difference between the two being that RJA happens to be on Virgin Records and are therefore afforded the glossy recording that being on Virgin allows them. TB if given the same budget and financial backing would have that same gloss applied to their songs, and suddenly all the "punks" would be too cool for them.

"Sure, Teenage Bottlerocket sucks. Just like the Ramones sucked. RIIIIIIIGHT"

The Ramones...there you go buddy. You just made my point. Teenage Bottle Rocket sounds like a weakass version of the Ramones, which has been done a thousand times before and better. Ramones ripoff bands are a dime a dozen, it was old 10 fucking years ago.

And listening to weak Ramones inspired rock doesn't make anyone a better person...listen to the Ramones.

I don't deny that TB are "no-BS" and if that's you're thing great, but why can't someone think the same about RJA and not be criticzed by other posters as the dude below was? The answer = because they're mainstream

elliot (March 18, 2009)

Sure, Teenage Bottlerocket sucks. Just like the Ramones sucked.

RIIIIIIIGHT

NotPatriotic (March 17, 2009)

ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah, some guy just said,

"Teenage Bottlerocket sucks as hard as these guys do"

ahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

Seriously dude, listen to teenage bottlerocket and then listen to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, compare the two, you will then be a better individual

mikexdude (March 17, 2009)

"Teenage Bottlerocket sucks as hard as these guys do. "I'm in the nuthouse" = simply amazing, incredible lyrics.

The only reason you like Teenage Bottlerocket is because they're on a smaller label than Red Whatever the fuck their name is. That way you can hold up your ideals of what punk rock is, because you don't give two shits bout the music, you just want it to be "punk rock"...something different than what everyone else listens to so you and your geeky buddies can feel superiour to other people who listen to "mainstream" music.

But wait...did you catch these lyrics;

I'm not going down the stairs no more
There's something here living under the floor
I haven't seen it but I know its there
Now I'm so scared I wet my underwear

...so much better than Red Jumpsuit Aparatus it's incredible. And because of the shittier production you can still be "punk"

good for you...lame ass"

Punk or not, Teenage Bottlerocket is no-BS fun. Get over yourself.

KevinJamesSuperFan (March 17, 2009)

"Why can't they just like Teenage Bottlerocket?"

Teenage Bottlerocket sucks as hard as these guys do. "I'm in the nuthouse" = simply amazing, incredible lyrics.

The only reason you like Teenage Bottlerocket is because they're on a smaller label than Red Whatever the fuck their name is. That way you can hold up your ideals of what punk rock is, because you don't give two shits bout the music, you just want it to be "punk rock"...something different than what everyone else listens to so you and your geeky buddies can feel superiour to other people who listen to "mainstream" music.

But wait...did you catch these lyrics;

I'm not going down the stairs no more
There's something here living under the floor
I haven't seen it but I know its there
Now I'm so scared I wet my underwear

...so much better than Red Jumpsuit Aparatus it's incredible. And because of the shittier production you can still be "punk"

good for you...lame ass

Wesley_Snipes (March 17, 2009)

S h i t . S a n d w i c h

TROOF (March 17, 2009)

Damnit, I thought this was going to own! Thier last album was such fuckin wicked punk. Oh well.

Laurier (March 17, 2009)

"There will always be millions of teenagers who just want something poppy and catchy to listen to."

"They should be killed."

Why can't they just like Teenage Bottlerocket?

mikexdude (March 17, 2009)

"There will always be millions of teenagers who just want something poppy and catchy to listen to."

They should be killed.

Apeman_on_the_moon (March 17, 2009)

"it mystifies me that this shit sells."

Yeah, because everyone should buy the stuff you like.

I don't like this music either, but I can understand why it sells. It's pop music. POPULAR music. Hence, that's why it sells. There will always be millions of teenagers who just want something poppy and catchy to listen to.

zombie-guru (March 17, 2009)

Was this really necessary? I don't think anyone was dying to know if the new Red Jumpsuit Apparatus was good.

andrewg (March 17, 2009)

my little sister gave me their last cd as a birthday gift whenever it was new. it stands as the worst gift i have ever received and is still in the plastic.

scorpiondeathlock (March 17, 2009)

that song they had about abusing women is just unforgivable.

CCSummers (March 17, 2009)

i am continually baffled at the things reviewed on this site

red_eye_inc (March 17, 2009)

I'm confused about your feelings for this record

mikexdude (March 17, 2009)

DanPerrone is stoked.

miniblindbandit (March 17, 2009)

haven't read a scathing review in a while. thanks for that.

sweetsugarpezz (March 17, 2009)

it mystifies me that this shit sells.