Warped Tour 2009

Warped Tour 2009: live in Venturalive in Ventura (2009)
Warped Tour

Reviewer Rating: 2.5

Contributed by: wallofyouthWentz_Equals_Death
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Who is indifferent to being here right now!?!"
?? Fat Mike

::crowd cheers wildly::

I went to my first Warped Tour (first concert!) in 2000 and attended in ??01 and ??02 as well. Good Riddance, Pennywise, Rancid, Bad Religion, the Suicide Machines, NOFX, Green Day, TSOL, the Bouncing Souls...Good Charlotte, 311, Papa Roach, Finch, Long Beach Dub All-Stars...

As the above list suggests, there has always been good mixed with bad at the Warped Tour. But you have to admit, it's long been a fine gateway to punk for the suburban youth of North America. At 24, I never thought I'd be back but I guess free tickets were enough for me to brave the atrocities of 2009's lineup to see NOFX, Bad Religion, TSOL and more. Again. What year is it?

It was about what I expected, and I won't bother talking about how awful Underoath, Brokencyde and Escape the Fate are, because in reality it was fairly easy to avoid that stuff, or at least to revel in a severe distaste for it. In fact, I think I really get a profound satisfaction from hating those bands.

Actually, let me talk for a second about how awful these bands are. Escape the Fate has a key-tar and they hook the drums up to some sort of system that makes it sound like synthetic techno beats instead of real drums. Have you ever seen grown men screaming their hearts out and hardcore dancing to Tears for Fears? And I guess their fans are also huge fans of the Devil Wears Prada, or at least supporters of the ten thousand different Nicktoons shirt designs they have. I stood, awestruck, for a couple of minutes as I passed by en route to see the Duane Peters Gunfight. Duane looks good these days.

In the end, the pizza we had after the show rivaled the always-fun NOFX at the top of the short list for "things that didn't leave a terrible taste in my mouth today." It was also pretty sweet to see D.I. cover "Amoeba" even though Adolescents had played it just hours before. Funny.

Good Charlotte and Blink-182 are similar enough to bands like Millencolin and Guttermouth that those Warped lineups really did make sense in the old days -- it was quite conceivable that a youngster might show up for Green Day and go home with a TSOL CD (I did). But now, I'm not so sure. The sea of evacuees between Underoath's last song and NOFX's first joke was massive, almost as if it had rained 14-year-olds for 40 days and 40 nights and this was the ensuing flood. Don't blame organizer Kevin Lyman, though -- perhaps it's time for the older bands to let this ship sink and try something else. Then again...

Thanks for nothing, I had a pretty okay time, I'll give it a B-, seeya next time."
?? Fat Mike


People who liked this also liked:
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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
paulrulzdood (July 7, 2009)

nope, just one mans opinion No Cigar. I love Millencolin as much as the next guy too, but 311 is my favorite band of all time. I own more punk music than any other genre, i've been into punk since the mid 90's, but I love 311 for other reasons, their musicianship, their live show and dedication to their fans. I see no shame in loving 311, i don't get "dissing" bands just because they're "not teh punx".

nocigar (July 6, 2009)


I hope you are kidding.

paulrulzdood (July 6, 2009)

and I agree most of these new bands suck balls, i'm mainly just pissed you put 311 & long beach dub allstars into a "bad" category with Good Charlotte. i personally think 311 is better than any band you mention in your review, including bad religion, nofx and certainly TSOL.


paulrulzdood (July 6, 2009)

I love NOFX & Bouncing Souls as much as the next guy, and i was at Warped Tour 97 through 2006, but I just don't see the point of lumping any band that is not "Epi-Fat punk" into a "bad" category.

just makes you look like you have very limited taste in music (anything not "punk" by your standards is "bad") and thus, why would I want your opinions on a music festival when you're that guy that only listens to punk music?

codu (July 6, 2009)

Loved this review man, keep it up.

Bruce_Lees_Ghost (July 4, 2009)

This review is a million times better than the review of the ghost mice record.

misterspike (July 4, 2009)

Fat Mike's closing comment sums up my feelings about this year's Warped lineup. If two of my faves weren't playing this year, I'd be at the beach, instead.

drugmoney (July 4, 2009)

i had the chance to go to warped tour today, in houston, but decided that i'd much rather buy 3 albums from bands that are worth a fuck then spend $40 to throw shit at the awful "bands" my buddy called me halfway through it and was trying to tell me just how bad ass it was. i haven't taken his music taste serious in years.

xcarlupanddiex (July 4, 2009)

score is for fat mike's quotes

as the lawrence arms already told us, fuck the warped tour

clamum (July 4, 2009)

Shitty review, but goddamn these bands like Underoath suck a load of fucking dick.

luke01 (July 4, 2009)

So, basically, you didn't review any bands other than Escape the Fate (which you already had a bias against), and NOFX, but refused to actually talk about their show. Oh and the pizza, but wouldn't even say why it was good.
This review read like something out of the comments section rather than a review. A review would have mentioned more than 15 minutes out of a 8 - 10 hour day, and said what made each band good or bad.
Score is for the review.

fattony (July 3, 2009)

Haha, solid review and sound advice. I'm still on the fence about whether I want to go, despite the fact there's about 8 bands at my stop that I want to see. Last time I went (2004?), the lineup was just as solid but the crowd was 99% assholes.

kylewagoner (July 3, 2009)

hahahahha I love you and I love your review. I also love everything Fat Mike says as long as he's not being ignorant about like...bands that aren't cartoon punk like Propagandhi or Bruce Springsteen. I dunno, he was pretty drunk when I met him but he seems nice.

telegraphrocks (July 3, 2009)

"I don't any reason not to go if there's 5 or 6 bands you want to see."

Exactly. There is a 6-band minimum for me to attend a Warped Tour show, depending on other things going on that day, of course.

I think I counted 7 or 8 for the Chicago stop, so for the first time in years I will be going this year.

mattp330 (July 3, 2009)

not really a review. kind of just a column about the state of this type of music. not really useful even though i agree with alot of it. and i kind of like underoath

wallofyouth (July 3, 2009)

"this song goes out to michael jackson. actually it was the theme song for neverland ranch"

:: band launches into "fuck the kids" ::

Torgo (July 3, 2009)

Unless you live in Maine and you're really bothered by the heat*


Torgo (July 3, 2009)

Unless you live in Maine and you're really bothered by the cold, or for some reason you're genuinely annoyed that the average age of a Warped goer is 18 or 19 (people on here will argue it's 14 or 15 but let's be serious for a minute) I don't any reason not to go if there's 5 or 6 bands you want to see. $40 after TM changes isn't really that much, it's really easy to avoid bands you don't want to see... I think 5 bands I grew up with, here is NOFX, Bad Religion, LTJ, Big D, and Flogging Molly are worth it.

red_eye_inc (July 3, 2009)

I like this review because it's negative but provides constructive advice.

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