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Merrimac

The Mess, The Madness [7 inch] (2009)
Barrett

Reviewer Rating:

Contributed by: Brian
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Published on August 4th 2009

Oh great, more shitty pseudo-metallic southern rock or whatever with weak-ass groove parts, lazily barked vocals and uninspired lyrics.

Hot Damn! was awesome, no question. The wealth of crap that has since sprung up in its wake -- save I Am Hollywood -- isn't, and Merrimac's fortitude-less The Mess, The Madness 7" is no exception. If they had some good dynamics (not just the pretty repulsive sneering melodic singing), or cool riffs here and there, alright, but this lol-metaphorz-through-corpses crap just feels so forced and fake.

What's weird is that the last band I reviewed who did a piss-poor job of the same thing had a song title with the same exact name! Jesus Christ! If it's a fucking "Party Song," show, don't tell. And it never is! Fuck.

Upstate New York has produced so much incredible punk/hardcore/metal the past few years, someone's bound to bottom out once in a while, I guess. This band's fucked my ears. The lesser, the better.

STREAM
One Foot in the Grave, Robber

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absoludicrous (August 21, 2009)

So wait, I am somewhat confused by this review, is this a review of the upstate New York scene, the particular genre, or the band itself? The fact that you immediately classify this type of music as " shitty pseudo-metallic southern rock" is a pretty blatant display of subjectively approaching this album.

When you write a review, it helps to make SPECIFIC references to what was wrong on the album, instead you come off as some scenester douche-bag authority stroking your scene penis as if you actually know what the fuck you're talking about.

You have one semi-concise sentence that precedes the asinine diarrhea that was this review, where did you learn to write?
Your opinion would be a lot easier to respect if there was actually some kind of substance to this review, instead of "loldisbandfuckedmyears".

This statement puzzles me "If it's a fucking "Party Song," show, don't tell." First off, what the does that even mean? I figure any song that is relatively fast paced and high energy is a party song...On another note, if you listened to the actual lyrics, you would understand the name of the song. On that note, you clearly have no grasp of the fact that this is a STORY album (OMG! There IS a dynamic to this album!!!)

As far as playing music, Merrimac plays INCREDIBLY tight live shows? Why could that be? Because they don't make music that is stupidly hard to play, and the fact is there are still some really interesting licks (the lead guitar during the verse on One Foot In The Grave Robber, for example.) and those drive this album.

Even slightly suggesting that a band is making music that is contrived because they play what they know, is arguably the most retarded thing I've ever heard of; not ONE band has an album or a song that isn't a direct homage to something else, this is what we call "influence".

At any rate, flame on. Your review sucks, get better.

By the way, I will happily write an actual review to complement my rape of yours. Ask and you shall receive.