The Dopamines drummer Michael Dickson is currently serving hard time at Talbert House in Cincinnati, OH. The band issued this statement:

"Michael recently got a little tipsy behind the wheel and totaled his car. He's currently spending some time in Talbert House in Cincinnati Ohio. Time for some party plates."

In other band news, bassist Jon Weiner is newly single. He offered this statement to any prospective callers:

"Dashing, debonaire Jon Weiner is now a single man, looking for a girl in her mid twenties that kind of looks like paddy costello."

Stay tuned for late-breaking updates on this still-developing story. EDIT: APRIL FOOLS! (Sort of.)