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Masked Intruder found 'not guilty' in van break-ins, real perpetrator found!

Posted by johng on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 12:30 PM (EDT)
Image In what will clearly be a shock to the punk rock community, Masked Intruder have been found not guilty of the recent spree of van break-ins. During a drama filled emergency preliminary hearing, the band's attorney, Joshua S. Frank, showed that the band could not have possibly committed the recent series of van break-ins because, at all times during the break-ins, Masked Intruder were actually serving time in county jail for unrelated burglary offenses. In fact, the band just happened to have been released from prison a few minutes before being picked up again.

In an even more shocking turn of events, the real perpetrator was discovered during the hearing. During the hearing, Old Man Markley was in the public seating area and kept yelling, "Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up!" Finally, the bailiff went to remove Old Man Markley from the courtroom. During the scuffle, a collection of items fell out of Old Man Markley's pockets including four brightly colored masks, switch blades and a complete set of plans establishing how Old Man Markley intended to frame Masked Intruder for the crime in order to corner the market on themed pop-punk. Anyway, as Old Man Markely was handcuffed and dragged out of the court house, Old Man Markley was heard shouting, "... and I would have gotten away with it to, if it wasn't for you meddling punks!"



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FBI announces arrests in series of van break-ins

Posted by adame on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 12:00 PM (EDT)
Masked Intruder The FBI has announced a number of arrests in a recent series of van break-ins targeting punk rock bands. The suspects, who are now in federal custody, include all four members of Fat Wreck Chords band Masked Intruder, along with the band's sidekick/mascot/hypeman Officer Bradford. All five have been charged with multiple counts of grand theft, while Officer Bradford faces an additional charge of impersonating a law enforcement officer.

The band's attorney, Joshua S. Frank, Esquire, released a statement exclusively to Punknews.

You can click Read More to see the statement.

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Hard Girls van robbed

Contributed by maxq333. Posted by britt on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 11:30 AM (EDT)
Hard Girls Hard Girls are the latest in a string of bands to have their van broken into today, joining The Menzingers, Teenage Bottlerocket (twice), Pears and Arnocorps. This van break in marks the sixth in 24 hours. Investigations are being conducted by police who have just released a statement in which he said that the thefts are part of what they describe as a “crime spree.” The police release states:

“We have an idea of who the perpetrators are from eyewitness reports, and are on the lookout for four tattooed men, all supposedly wearing different colored head gear. Be vigilant and contact us if you see anything suspicious.”

Hard Girls have also released a statement announcing how upset they are by the loss of possessions from their van. They stated:

“We literally cannot believe what has happened today. We’ve lost all our money, a couple of guitars and, most importantly, the desire to carry on. It’s been so hard for all of us, and for all of the other bands. These break ins are going to stick with us for a long time, and we can only hope that the intruders are caught.”

The band haven’t yet announced that they are taking donations. As it seems to be punk bands exclusively who are being targeted, please be on the lookout and make sure to keep your van locked up safely!

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Thieves break into Teenage Bottlerocket's van, AGAIN!

Contributed by Johnathon1069. Posted by johng on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 11:00 AM (EDT)
Teenage Bottlerocket More bad news for Teenage Bottlerocket. While filling out paperwork at a police station in Savannah, Georgia in relation to their van being broken into last night, the band again found themselves the victims of a burglary. As all four band members were in the police station filing out forms, burglars saw that their van was left unattended and broke into it.

While there was not much in the way of musical equipment left to take, the suspect or suspects, who remain at large, were able to make off with a number of personal items. Among them, a notebook containing lyrics to the songs from Tales from Wyoming as well as the wallet of drummer Brandon Carlisle which contained some cash as well as his driver’s license. Of the incident Carlisle had the following to say:

“Things like this hit you on a whole other level. We can replace any equipment that gets stolen. But, people can get your address off you ID and other information that you really don’t want just floating around out there. I also may have lost the last copy of a photograph that was taken of my kids and me last year on my birthday.”

A knife, which police are identifying as a switchblade, was found at the scene. Additionally, two empty pizza boxes were found left inside the van. Police are yet to identify any suspects in this case, as there were no witnesses to the crime aside from a homeless man who states he was asleep at the time of the incident. We will keep you posted with any updates related to the incident and any crowd-funding efforts the band may put together to recoup their losses.

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Arnocorps van broken into

Contributed by conblake. Posted by johng on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 10:30 AM (EDT)
Arnocorps Well, it looks like the trend is continuing. Arnocorps' van was also broken into, only hours after Teenage Bottlerocket's van, Menzingers' van and PEARS' van. The bands believe there may be a connection but no link has yet been established. Amps and instruments were stolen along with 12 pairs of aviator sunglasses and a several dozen boxes of stogies. No clues have yet emerged but traces of red, yellow, green and blue fibers were found, suggesting pieces of masks or badly dressed frat boys. Arnocorp's only comments were:

"It was likely predators jealous of our heroic symmetry and awesomeness, a disappointing display of thievery that goes against everything the Heroes and Sheroes of Alpine lore stand for. We will emerge from the ashes of this idiocy greater than ever before. As always, we will remain BALLZY!"

The band is also starting an IndieGoGo fund to raise funds to match the equipment and "truly priceless" memorabilia stolen. The fund is currently called "Your Money, Give Them To Us" and is already exceeding current donation goals.

The police are investigating and are particularly interested in the scraps of extremely colorful cloth found, and are calling for anyone with information to please contact them.

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Items stolen from PEARS' van

Contributed by DesertBurst92. Posted by johng on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 10:00 AM (EDT)
Image Last night on their way to their Gainesville, Florida show with Teenage Bottlerocket, PEARS’ van was broken into and robbed. The band stated:

Hey Everyone, we have some very NOT RAD news. On our way from our Fayetteville, NC show with Teenage Bottlerocket to the Gainesville, FL show our van was completely robbed. Two of the van’s windows were completely shattered. What can we say? The money that was stolen is really just a drop in the bucket, nay, the ocean, of money that we owe to Ryan Young from Off With Their Heads for not only pressing our record, but purchasing every copy. We’re scrambling trying to figure things out right now. We’re all super pissed that all of our stuff was taken. We have called the cops and they are beginning to look into our case.

You can click read more to see a list of things that were stolen from the band.

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Menzingers van burglarized

Posted by armando on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 9:30 AM (EDT)
The Menzingers Early this morning, the Menzingers van was burglarized. The band had just wrapped up a short run of headlining dates last night and were in North Carolina when the robbery occurred. Thankfully tour manager Scott Bell was able to briefly apprehend the individual in the midst of the crime. While nothing was stolen due to Bell's involvement the suspect was able to escape after a brief encounter.

Sadly this is not the first time the band has faced a break in as they have had not one but two in the past. We have a quote from guitarist/vocalist Tom May below.

Epitaph Records Read More... | 7 comments

Thieves break into Teenage Bottlerocket's van

Contributed by misterspike. Posted by britt on Wednesday, April 1, 2015 at 9:00 AM (EDT)
Teenage Bottlerocket Late last night, Teenage Bottlerocket's van was robbed outside of Savannah, GA. The band, currently on tour with PEARS, were staying overnight after a show in Fayetteville, NC with a show planned in Gainesville, FL the next night. Guitarist/vocalist Ray Carlisle stated:

“We decided to crash at this fleabag hotel on the way to see all our Fest buddies in Gainesville and woke up to find our trailer was missing as well as our front van windows smashed. Not only have we lost a few thousand in merch, all our personalized TBR Skull equipment is gone, as well as Vito, our trusty velour dashboard skull bobblehead, which has seen us through the high times and low times. We are at the police station (Upping the Punx!) filling out reports and working on making it to Loosey’s tonight. BOTTLEROCKET!”

Teenage Bottlerocket’s most recent album, Tales From Wyoming, was released yesterday. In a bit of goodwill, several bands, most notably Crash and Attack and Old Man Markley, condemned the break-in and offered to help get TBR back on their feet. The status of their show at Loosey’s in Gainesville, FL with PEARS is unknown at this time.

Rise Records 18 comments

New Review Update: March 31, 2015

Posted by adame on Tuesday, March 31, 2015 at 6:00 PM (EDT)
Image Adam E. here with four new reviews. Today on the way to work I was rear-ended by a fellow commuter. He told me that it was the fault of his GPS, which presumably told him to accelerate while everyone else was stopped. I know you're all concerned, but worry not, I'm unhurt.

Today's reviews are:
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Tours: Say Anything/Modern Baseball/Cymbals Eat Guitars/Hard Girls

Posted by johng on Tuesday, March 31, 2015 at 5:30 PM (EDT)
Say Anything This summer there will be a tour of four diverse acts. Say Anything is taking Modern Baseball, Cymbals Eat Guitars and Hard Girls on a month-long trip. You can see the dates below.

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Mischief Brew: “No Candlesticks”

Posted by johng on Tuesday, March 31, 2015 at 5:00 PM (EDT)
Mischief Brew Mischief Brew have released a track from their upcoming LP, This is Not For Children. The track is called "No Candlesticks" and you can hear it below. The new album is out on Alternative Tentacles Records on May 23, 2015.

You can click Read More for the tune.

Alternative Tentacles Records Read More... | 1 comment

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