...and the winners are [straight from the band]:

1. Brian Schultz - "he deserves a lifetime place on the guest list at every show we play. Brian Schultz is an American hero."
2 Jeremi Suski and Arvind Karawan
3. Kevin Fowler and Mark Clemens


To read all the winning lyrics, click READ MORE. Thanks to Dakota/Dakota and Arms Reach Recordings for the prizes. And remember, Wade Boggs don't take no shit from no one.


Brian:
Wade Boggs Don't Take No Shit From No One
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Though he played for the Rays

I can think of many ways

That Mr. Boggs was one tough motherfucker...

After a batting title, Boston trades Carney Lansford

So Wade can take over third

Chicken Man drew 'chai' in the batters-box

And took the pinstripes over the Sox


Said "Fuck you Boston and your curse

I'm joinin' the rivals, they've got a bigger purse"

40 doubles a year

And in '96, finally champagne and not beer


For his head, a 3000th hit crown

Home fuckin' run in his hometown

Never won an MVP,

But that was ok for the lefty


The Joe Cronin award winner

And a full-time American Leaguer

Wade Boggs's mustache

A symbol of his great past


Wade Boggs....

Wade Boggs...

wade Boggs...

one tough motherfucker

*******************
Arvind:
Don't Pee In My Bed And Tell Me It's Raining
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please don't jerk off, in my cornflakes, and tell me that it's frosting
Please don't pee in my bed and tell me it's rain
Don't menstrate, on my bagel, and tell me that it's jam
Don't serve me placenta and say it's spam

I know I smell like shit
But I know I'm not dumb as shit
So stop wasting your time
Don't pee in my bed
And say it's rain that got it wet
I know what urine smells like

Please don't stick, my cigars, up your ass hole, and tell me they're imports
Please don't jizz in my eclair, I know your flavor
Don't wipe, your vag, on my porno mags, your scent makes me gag
Don't queef on my guitar, and tell me I suck

repeat chorus

I fucking hate my roommates
I'd rather see a girl menstrate
Than have to live with you
And sleep in the bed where you had a poop
****************************
Jeremy:
Getting Angry Is The Worst Way To Prove You're Not Drunk

Sad as you know it,
I hate to really show it
I m sober
It sometimes makes me mad
I cant find it being bad
That I like to taste liquor
Or whatever makes me drunk quicker
But Getting Angry Is The Worst Way To Prove You're Not Drunk
Especially when I m listening to funk.
**************************

Mark:
I Hope to God I'm Not a Sheep
Last night I had the strangest dream
I was naked and cold and living in New Zealand
And all around me was this buzzing
When I woke up, my clothes were gone
And I'd pissed myself
 
I hope to God I'm not a sheep
'Cause all that wool would itch
Like a bitch (It's impossible to not think of Jethro Tull here, but it's unintentional, I swear)
 
Lately my lawn's been lookin' tasty
I've been following my neighbors all over town
My friends all tell me I smell bad
But I don't really mind it much
I just want to scratch
 
Maybe I ama sheep after all
I guess that wouldn't be so bad
I could live with all the other sheep
And not have to think again
**************************
Kevin:
Bruises Are Buttons For Pain

It was cold

A December morning in a house with no fire
Like the heart in my chest
It is all ash

And I burn
I need
I want

It was warm

When I held you, hold you
If only two seconds long
The embrace is heaven

And I yearn
I suffer
Incomplete

It is done

I was never meant to be
Throw away and step on me
Of course you couldn't see

I'm here
Waiting
Wondering

If I'll
Achieve
My goal

Alive, in time