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Short Music for Short People
1999
Fat Wreck Chords

Various - Short Music for Short People (Cover Artwork)

Review by: Lunk
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Published on August 30th 2002

“Why can’t people understand? I got a short attention span. A short attention span.”
So sing the Fizzy Bangers. It pretty much sums up this bizarre concept CD from the boffins at fat wreck laboratories. If you haven’t heard of this CD (very unlikely, but remotely possible), it is 101 30-second punk songs by 101 different punk bands.

The best songs are not necessarily from bands you’d expect. It’s pretty hard to write a good 30-second song, and obviously a few of the more popular bands submitted half-hearted efforts. However, lots of the less well-known bands obviously took this opportunity to really impress people and get some publicity. So it’s good in that regard, you get some unexpected and pleasant surprises.

An inordinately large amount of the songs done specifically for this CD are actually about doing the song for the CD. There are about 15 or 20 songs which deal primarily with bands whining about how little they can fit into 30 seconds. I know it’s meant to be funny, and it is – the first 3 or 4 times. Wizo go even further and the entire song is a count from 1 to 30. Ah, those crazy Germans.

Not all the songs were recorded specifically for this album, and those are immediately apparent (as you’ve probably heard them before), such as ‘spray paint carwash’ from Black Flag. This is fine, in the case of bands which are no longer together (or alive), but I think it’s poor form from bands which are still around, but are too lazy to do an original song. If the Sub-Humans can get their act together to do an original song for this comp then everyone else should have an easy time doing it.

I’m not going to go through and describe every song (though I could, I pretty much know this CD off by heart). I will however single some bands out for special mention.

First off, the Nerf Herder song is one of the funniest songs i’ve ever heard, followed closely by the Offspring’s effort, then Blink 182’s ‘Family Reunion’ (which I know is a B side for one of their cd’s but I don’t know which came first, the chicken or the egg. Regardless, ‘Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart dirty twat’ are the still the best lyrics for a song I’ve ever heard), and then Nofx’s own sick contribution ‘see her pee’.

Fury 66’s song is great. Very angry (not surprisingly).

The Ataris song I liked until it got used for an APPLE COMPUTER ad. Just kidding, as deplorable as that was, the song is still ace.

Gwar are their typical disgusting selves, though ‘fish fuck’ deserves special mention for being so mind numbingly disgusting.

Stung Out’s song is great.

Fat mike was being interviewed on Sydney radio station JJJ in 2000, and he said that sequencing this was an absolute nightmare, and that most of the good songs were on the first half of the CD. Strange then that my favourite songs are on the second half. And my absolute favourite is second last. This is caustic soda’s submission ‘welcome to dumpsville, population you’. Actually, Fat Mike agreed that this was one of the best, and that it was at the end for no apparent reason. Two other notable mentions from the last half of the CD is the Lunachicks with ‘pretty houses’, and the Dwarves with ‘the band that wouldn’t die’. Also, and I know this is against all my principles, but I actually like the Bodyjar contribution…

I won’t lie and say it’s for everyone, but to me, this is an awesome CD and well worth the small amount of cash I had to part with to purchase it. Obviously some people will find it hard to sit through, but me, I can sit through it on repeat for hours. It certainly doesn’t get repetitive.

There are funny songs, angry songs, catchy pop-punk songs, atmospheric songs, hardcore songs, good songs, bad songs, incoherent songs, boring songs, annoying songs, fucking excellent songs. Everything. With one common factor… they are all ‘punk.’

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, December 6, 2002 at 10:15 PM (EST)
My Score:

"spazz is the only good band on this cd." Stupidest comment I've ever read.

Posted by Anonymous on Thursday, September 5, 2002 at 7:17 PM (EDT)
My Score:

not surprised that blink stole that bit from george carlin, considering that's not the first time they steal songs from other bands.

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 4, 2002 at 11:19 PM (EDT)
My Score:

it just takes some time little girls

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 4, 2002 at 4:46 PM (EDT)
My Score:

Does anybody else notice that the Blink song is a little bit of a rip off from an old George Calrin bit... 7 words you cant say on tv. "Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker and motherfucker". Great song but just thought Id get that out there.-BostonMusicGuy

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 3, 2002 at 1:34 AM (EDT)
My Score:

Somebody may have already mentioned this, but I haven't read the other comments cuz frankly, I never learned to read, but a lot of the songs are well over 30 seconds. Bad Religion's song, for instance, is 40 seconds long, and many will recall that "change of ideas" is only 54 seconds long. I don't know. I realized that a lot of songs are more than 30 seconds, so when people claim that this fact is the central point of discussion when it comes to this record, its a bit annoying.

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 3, 2002 at 12:35 AM (EDT)
My Score:

spazz is the only good band on this cd.

Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, September 3, 2002 at 12:32 AM (EDT)
My Score:

ahem. the lyrics to the blink song go "... tits fart TURD and twat", not "dirty twat". it's a george carlin routine.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, September 2, 2002 at 6:04 PM (EDT)
My Score:

The bigwig song is definately the best song on the comp. Also, your reviewing this made me put it into my cdplayer, i hate you.

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, September 2, 2002 at 3:48 PM (EDT)
My Score:

thidd onr hosd ouyt to thouswe kisd who dreove srx hotws ign d stuolewn cae and miswsed thee shew

Posted by Fuzzy on 2002-09-02 00:12:46
My Score:

I think the fact that bands like Dance Hall Crashers and Less Than Jake play their songs off this album in concert is great

Anchor is one of the best LTJ songs...and rips live.

Posted by evildeadalive on 2002-09-01 20:56:39
My Score:

Don't like the Ataris, hate 311. Gwar rules the universe. This comp kicks ass. Great Youth Brigade song on here.

Posted by TheOneTrueBill on 2002-09-01 00:44:00
My Score:

just to let you know, the ataries takked shit about 311, therefore they are shit... always have been, always will be

Posted by WussEmoRock on 2002-08-31 11:09:21
My Score:

Very good cd, it never grows old, some very good songs on it, although some very bad songs too. teen idols song is funny, ataris, bigwig, lagwagon, less than jake, no use, lag, all very good bands on this cd. never really got into the bad religion song tho

*****Wuss-Emo-Rock*****

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 9:05 AM (EDT)
My Score:

You idiot. Gwar rules. Sorry they don't sing lame-ass love songs.

-sickboi

Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 31, 2002 at 2:37 AM (EDT)
My Score:

A very original idea and fun comp to listen to. The Living End, Bigwig, Useless ID, Trigger Happy and Satanic Surfers are definite favourites.

Posted by Vien on 2002-08-31 00:16:06
My Score:

This comp is definitely one of my favorite comps ever and it's too bad that I fucking lost it!! oh well.... Dillinger four, less than jake, anti-flag, and good riddance were some of my favorites.

Posted by punky on 2002-08-30 23:13:56
My Score:

AFI,Useless I.D, Strung out all have kickass songs here.

The only band that didn't want to submit song was Millencolin. 'We think that the idea was stupid'.Kinda lame, but then, millencolin are lame as well.

Posted by martin on 2002-08-30 21:35:30
My Score:

Cool CD. Gwar suck and what was fat Mike smoking when he wanted to sign them, thankfully he was talked out of it!

DI song is cool 2

Agree that LTJ does an awesome song and they use it live as a lead in - NICE!

Rock!

Posted by eyeball_kid on 2002-08-30 17:10:29
My Score:

The Black Flag song is Spray Paint (the walls). Anyway this CD is great. Especially the song by Trigger Happy.

Posted by Bryne on 2002-08-30 16:44:38
My Score:

Oh, and I forgot, GWAR is fucking great.

Posted by Bryne on 2002-08-30 16:42:38
My Score:

Good review for a CD that seems difficult to review. The Less Than Jake song on here is good. It actually sounds like a real song, unlike a lot of the other contributions. The booklet for the CD is really cool, too.

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 30, 2002 at 4:15 PM (EDT)
My Score:

good review, good cd. don't forget about less than jakes song or No Use's song, also lagwagons and especially the descendants (i think theirs, I havent heard the cd for years)

chris corradini

Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 30, 2002 at 4:00 PM (EDT)
My Score:

if they were "all punk," then punk sucks