Keepsake - Black Dress in a B Movie (Cover Artwork)


Keepsake: Black Dress in a B MovieBlack Dress in a B Movie (2002)
Fearless Records

Reviewer Rating: 1
User Rating:

Contributed by: mitchmitch
(others by this writer | submit your own)

Is this album even here? Does this even exist? When I put it in my CD player I hear completely generic by-the-numbers emo-pop with just a hint of punk, but there's no soul here. And I don't mean soul like Tina Turner, I mean soul like humanity. This album is completely devoid of all humanity wha.
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Is this album even here? Does this even exist? When I put it in my CD player I hear completely generic by-the-numbers emo-pop with just a hint of punk, but there's no soul here. And I don't mean soul like Tina Turner, I mean soul like humanity. This album is completely devoid of all humanity whatsoever. There is no emotion here. It's like a team of scientists got together and calculated how to make an emo pop album. They fed hundreds of Jimmy Eat World and Getup Kids songs into a giant computer, and once the computer had succesfully broken down the formula, it spat this out. What is to keep me from confusing this with any other emo pop record out there? The songs aren't catchy, the lyrics aren't moving or even particularly interesting... It's like this album weren't even here.

I feel the exact same way when I listen to Ann Beretta. It's like, they've got the drum beat and tempo correct, they're playing the right number of chords, all the guitar solo thingies and backup vocals are positioned exactly where they're supposed to be, and yet... It's wrong. There's no creativity here, no passion, no love for the genre or music in general.

I can't even say that this record is really bad, per say. It's just boring is all. Even the naked women in the CD packaging do little to entice me into liking this album. I guess if you want to listen to generic post Y2K emo pop, maybe you'd be better off... I dunno, stabbing out your ears or something . And if you're into naked women in lyric booklets, I reccomend "Surfer Rosa" by the Pixies. "Black Dress in a B Movie" is pretty much completely unneccesary in every way.

In summary, this isn't as much something to be avoided at all costs as it is to just be ignored. Pretend it isn't even here, because honestly, I can't say for sure that it is.



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Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not respon sible for them in any way. Seriously.
Anonymous (December 31, 2005)

thats cool

Anonymous (December 6, 2003)

I think this album is excellent. I don't see how anyone could say anything bad about this album. But for all of you that hate Keepsak they broke up, so you don't have to worry.

Anonymous (August 28, 2003)

dont buy this one go get the things i would say or even the end of sound has a few good ones.

Anonymous (January 26, 2003)

keepsake sucks. the vocals are the worst thing. they sound all airy and the singer tries to hard to have soft vocals, but you can tell he can do better.

Anonymous (January 1, 2003)

I'm not going to bash Mitch's review because after all, we all have our own opinions. However, for whomever called Keepsake sell outs....do you know what the definition of a sell out is? I'm thinking not. Just because they changed their music, they've evolved....they're going through something different at this point and time in their lives and have become older and more mature, does not make them sell outs. Not to mention the fact that I really love the album, I think it's great and they're an amazing live band and work hard at what they do. For the guy who made the comment that his band was going to be opening for Keepsake, and you hope they have fans - I hope you never have the opportunity to open for a somewhat successful band ever again, that wasn't cool....you obviously don't have as many fans, so you have no room to talk. And for the rest of you who continuously put down the album, unless you can do better, don't go too deep with the criticism ;)

Bryne (December 30, 2002)

I haven't heard this band, but their drummer was playing in Glasseater last night when I saw them and he did a decent job. So props to him.

Anonymous (December 30, 2002)

ann beretta in their prime (when they had leer, around the time they released their first full-length) was extremely passionate and emotional. Their newer stuff IS really forced, but don't judge the band's entire discography based on that. bitch. now keepsake, they do suck.

Anonymous (December 29, 2002)

There website has the exact same design as a band called fall out boy from Chicago. WWW.FALLOUTBOY.COM - but it looks like they are changing it, too bad because it's kinda funny if you've seen them both before.

Anonymous (December 29, 2002)

mitch is usually right about these things, maybe he's god or something...wait he doesn't really believe in god..so all right.
hey "tiff" don't insult bigwig, just don't.
mitch, good review

Anonymous (December 28, 2002)

I'd have to agreee that this is a dull album. Keepsake is a good bunch of guys, and they're decent live,(i'm sort of elabourating/ paraphrasing what mitch said) but this album is so freaking sterile. It's a very formulatic-sounding record, and appears that somone spent too much time dissecting every note, word, and warble in this recording. this is basically the "ELO's greatest hits" of emo.

Anonymous (December 28, 2002)

i think you guys misunderstood what dear old lyuvy dubby mitch was saying its not that the album is bad musically its just that it doesn't need to be cause it is a clone of what has already been created this is a marketting tool not an album 13 y/o girls are suppose to masturbate to this while wearing thier abercrombie/fitch malldriven outfits. this is entertainment, its a blockbuster its completely utterly generic, lets compare it to the likes of titanic or jurassic park 3 get the drift miutafukas? THIS IS DEVIOD OF ETC. goodnight kiddles 14 y/o girls rock yr face off.

Anonymous (December 28, 2002)

this CD is really good. you should at least download some of their crap from www.fearlessrecords.com and see for yourself instead of taking bitch's word for it. crap, i meant mitch's word for it...

Anonymous (December 28, 2002)

I don't know if we are listening to the same band, or if I am just a faggot, but I thought this album was incredible. I saw these guys in concert though and the venue turned off their power half way through the set. Then the guys didn't have a place to stay so they crashed in my basement. They are the nicest guys I have met since Glasseater (who also stayed at my place). I love these guys and I just hope your harsh words don't kill any fans. I give this album a perfect 10. Especially the song Tickets to Russia. Genius.

bruceless (December 27, 2002)

We've all got our opinion but I wish you never had to "insult" Richmond's finest.

Anonymous (December 27, 2002)

not sure if the o;ther dude starteed a band, but they are still good live/play old shit.

evildeadalive (December 26, 2002)

Sooo... do they still play the old stuff live then? The guy below said they're still decent live... I gotta say, I still love the old shit... Has that dude started a new band?

Anonymous (December 26, 2002)

oh yea, these guys didnt sell out though as someone said. they kicked out the dude w/ the hardcore influence/chief songwriter. now the other dude gets to write songs and this is his direction. thats what track 2 is about, kicking out hte old songwriter. but the new direction sux/is generic/boring'/juliana theory covers. fuck it. yea theres maybe 3 good songs on it but even the go;od ones are just ok.

Anonymous (December 26, 2002)

Yeah, they've gone downhill completely. This is unremarkable at best, though they're still a pretty decent live act.

"The Things I Would Say" is one of the best HC records you could find. Songs like "Infinity Road" and "Final Moments" are simply brilliant, and the most amazing thing is that I hear they wrote that album in their teens!! I don't know why they've become so generic, I'd like to think there's still hope.

Anonymous (December 26, 2002)

To the person who said the twat guy is a total prick. You'd better watch out, he's is gonna comeback at you with some long ass paragraph of nonsense just to get to some not really funny punchline about fucking your mom or something.

Anonymous (December 25, 2002)

I understand that they lost all of their metal/hardcore influences, but this album still has two or three good songs on it, not worth bying it though.....

Anonymous (December 25, 2002)

I'll have to disagree with the anti-fearless slander, listen to their most recent comp. I didn't like any of the songs at first but after a few listens it grew on me and has become one of my favorite albums, despite not being similar at all to stuff I usually listen to. The Rock Kills Kid track is especially addicting.

evildeadalive (December 25, 2002)

not anymore they don't

Anonymous (December 25, 2002)

this cd fucking sucks, haha my band might open for keepsake.... i wonder if they have any fans.

lou-s (December 25, 2002)

that whole review was a dead on acurate description of that shitty cd...

but this was the most truthful comment of the day...
"The twat guy is a dopey prick"

Anonymous (December 25, 2002)

For good albums with naked women on the cover art 4 out of 5 Doctors recommend THE DWARVES.

Anonymous (December 25, 2002)

The twat guy is a dopey prick

StabbingGoldfish (December 24, 2002)

mitch writes some of the best reviews on this site.

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

I've never heard the album, but that was the greatest review I've ever read in my life. Thanks to you, my brain will never even begin the mental processes needed to even subconsciously contemplate purchasing this CD. Oh, and NN2S rocks.

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

You're my new best friend. twat

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

great review.

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

OOOOh Mitch.....I love NNTS, but you had add the Ann Beretta insult.Ouch. Seriously, Keepsake is crizzap. Great review.


Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

my friend highly recommended this band to me. i liked end of sound he lent me. i went out and bought this. i then sold it back used a week later after 5 listens or so. i thought it would get better. it didnt. it reminds me of teh juliana theory. but worse. hollow. hollow FUCK!! HOllow!! dont' listen, this is audio poo poo.
ps. i mean its not even bad. its just so fucking boring. and redundant. FU:XCK!

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

What I really want to know is how, in the span of 1 or 2 albums, they got so crappy. I remember the first time I heard them, on an initial distro sampler, I was blown away. I think the song was infinity road. So when I saw the new Keepsake CD on sale, I bought it without a second thought. WORST MISTAKE EVER! There are NO redeeming qualities to the album. Like sometimes, when an album is NOTHING like what you expected, at least it has some good songs, or you end up liking it even though it isn't what you're expecting. This album has nothing. FUCKING NOTHING. Keepsake should break up.

Anonymous (December 24, 2002)

Fearless has to be the worst record company out there on the scene. Just a bunch of generic rip off bands tryin to make the big time. Except for bigwig, who suck anyway. Fuck Fearless.

evildeadalive (December 24, 2002)

I used to really like this band, but not anymore. This is just a terrible, terrible album. This band has completely sold out, and what's worse? They failed at it. Nothing worse than selling out, and no one caring. Keepsake: you suck.

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