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This is not a Warped Tour review.... technically. Let's face it, diarrhea can strike when you least expect it. Sometime around the end of the always loveable, always Irish, Flogging Molly, the rumblings began. I spent most of the Warped Tour in the bathroom. It didn't bother me too much. I didn't really plan to go in the first place, but my friend some tickets, and I wasn't able to scalp them for $100 in the parking lot
.
There was a time, however, where I was free to wander the Tweeter Center parking lot, absolved of all abdominal pain. I wandered into a dusty, dirt covered area lush with useless merch stands. I happened upon a side stage, far tucked away from all the other stages. The Bled was setting up onstage. I found two of my friends and we worked our way up towards the front of the stage. I think they opened with "Get Up You Son of a Bitch, Cause Mickey Loves Ya"; all I know is it was loud, heavy, and fast. Listening to the Bled is kind of like losing your virginity to the hottest slut in school. It's rough, it's so dirty, and it's over fast. I was an instantly converted fan of the Bled. They specialize in obscenely heavy breakdowns, which is the main reason I enjoy them so much. They played just about all their songs from "Pass The Flask". The Bled aren't extremely innovative for their genre -- the singer flails and screams in typical hardcore fashion, the guitarists throw their guitars around like maniacs while still playing pretty technical riffs -- but they are very good at the key aspects of hardcore.

The singer gave a shout out to the deceased Rick James by saying, "I don't know if you've heard, but Rick James has passed away. So I'm going to say a phrase, and you all are going to finish it, and it can be the last time that any of us ever say it again. I'm Rick James....."

Then the call of the crowd, "BITCH!"

When the song began he also added, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!" There were times during their set when I made that face that you sometimes make when listening to heavy music -- you know the "this is so bad ASS" face. For instance, during "Red Wedding" the band entered a slow, deathmarch breakdown where the singer growled "You will pay the price, close your eyes and die!" while stomping across the stage. Sure those lyrics aren't creative or artsy, but god damn, it was so bad ass. Not one, but two pits formed in a relatively small space, kicking up the dust and dirt all over the ground into the air. It looked damn cool.

I stuck around for Underoath, because my one friend likes them a lot. Underoath brought out the very typical hardcore with a singer and a screamer, a la Alexisonfire, any other nu-hardcore band these days. They make very nice use of the effects and synthesizer, but I find it hard not to label them a gimmick band. The only thing that separates Underoath from all the other generic hardcore bands is that they use electronics in their songs. The coolest part of their entire set was when the synthesizer player cued a recording of a choir singing "I'm drowning in my sleep", and continued to play it as the band jammed over it. Underoath was not very memorable, but there is hope for them. They seem to have so much potential, if only they could get out of the generic hardcore. Underoath, please just use the electronics creatively with your sound, and craft songs that haven't already been written by every other band! You have the skills, you can do this!

I started getting sick again, so I bought a copy of "Pass the Flask" and we left the Warped Tour. Overall, the Bled and Underoath were definetly worth the five dollars I spent to see them. Yeah, I only spent five bucks on my ticket, because my friends paid me $20 to eat a worm. And now that I think about it, that worm is probably related to my intestinal distress. Oh well, go check out the Bled, and Underoath when they stop being so milk-and-water.



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    Posted by benz on 2006-01-14 02:00:11

    I am an "assjacket", that's true.

    But for a better description of the face, you have to arch your eyebrows a little bit and pull your lips to one side and say "ooh".

    -benz

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, October 7, 2005 at 1:35 PM (EDT)

    "There were times during their set when I made that face that you sometimes make when listening to heavy music"

    What the fuck? Anyone else think this guys an assjacket?

    Posted by joeg on 2005-08-26 22:30:43

    "When the song began he also added, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug!" There were times during their set when I made that face that you sometimes make when listening to heavy music -- you know the "this is so bad ASS" face. For instance, during "Red Wedding" the band entered a slow, deathmarch breakdown where the singer growled "You will pay the price, close your eyes and die!" while stomping across the stage. Sure those lyrics aren't creative or artsy, but god damn, it was so bad ass. Not one, but two pits formed in a relatively small space, kicking up the dust and dirt all over the ground into the air. It looked damn cool."

    you're like, a fucking tool dude. but i bet those mosh pitz wr really kool.

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, August 15, 2005 at 1:47 AM (EDT)

    You guys obviously miss the point. Death Metal as a name no longer refers to a particular lyrical pattern within the song, but to a particluar genre of music. Both death metal and grindcore no longer have the distiction of being purely for satanists/atheists/perverts and whatnot, but now represent a specific style of music. Just because a band sings Christian lyrics does not make them any less death metal then a band like necrophagist.

    However, Underoath was metal as hell, but never death metal, though I might give you that they had a lot of black metal leanings, especially in the drumming.

    Posted by benz on 2005-07-12 15:12:42

    no, underoath is actually terrible.

    -benz

    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, September 22, 2004 at 9:46 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    This guy who posted this is the biggest idiot in the world Underoath is nothing like anyother band musical they are amazing and if you say any thing other then that then you have no idea what music is i cant stand people like you saying they sound generic shut up and try playing some stuff liek that

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, August 31, 2004 at 10:42 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Underoath is the raddest band i have ever had the pleasure of listening to.

    Posted by FortyMinutesWest on 2004-08-20 18:46:20
    My Score:

    "But tell me about this....Black Metal.....whats some bands...and anyone else got some other crazy bands I should check out?"

    Naglfar.

    Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, August 18, 2004 at 6:25 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    "Why can't people stop making up shit!? Underoath was never a death metal band! Who the fucks ass did you pull that from? UO was always a christian hardcore/metalcore band. Christian! Never fucking "death metal." Sure, their first cd was much harder, but thats all. People like you frustrate me."

    People like YOU frustrate me, the Changing Of Times Wasnt there First CD, Acts of Depression was, hten Cries of the past, Listen to "The Last" by underoath, then you will realize they used to actually be metal. And You can have "christian"death metal by the way.

    and they have hte original drummer, and tim thje guitarist is almost original, same with the keyboardist

    Posted by Anonymous on Tuesday, August 17, 2004 at 3:04 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    wow...points for the bled for another annoying "im rick james, bitch" rendition that every other white in the country just loves to say cause its so "fresh and cool". Hey THE Bled, go back to white suburbia and learn how to play origninal tech hardcore!

    Posted by Anonymous on Monday, August 16, 2004 at 4:57 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Whoa, shit.....notaclevername, I just downloaded mortification cause i was a bit curious about this Christian Death Metal.....Whoa.....Shit.....thats some werid ass shit right there....scared the hell outta me.

    But tell me about this....Black Metal.....whats some bands...and anyone else got some other crazy bands I should check out?

    Posted by Bowen on 2004-08-15 15:37:34
    My Score:

    The Bled is awesome, I wish they would tour with some good bands though, I didn't really enjoy putting up with the Senses Fail and My Chemical Romance crowd just to see the Bled.

    Posted by notaclevername on 2004-08-15 15:05:19
    My Score:

    also there are such things as Christian death metal (and black metal, for that matter) bands, like mortification (even though they're crazy fundamentalists), etc.

    Posted by notaclevername on 2004-08-15 15:02:41
    My Score:

    obviously, the guy two posts down from me has never heard either cries of the past or act of depression...because underoath was definitely trying to be a more trendy cradle of filth (who were, and i guess still are [except to the genre's purists] black metal) back then...but i don't think they have any original members left, so there you go

    Posted by Anonymous on Sunday, August 15, 2004 at 1:25 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    oh the score is entirely for the bled.

    well maybe i'll include that one moment when underoath played the recording of the choir.

    -benz

    Posted by TrailerParkJesus on 2004-08-15 02:24:47
    My Score:

    "Underoath was great when they were essentially a death metal band. then, they were quite good when they used synths in metalcore. now they flat out suck."

    Why can't people stop making up shit!? Underoath was never a death metal band! Who the fucks ass did you pull that from? UO was always a christian hardcore/metalcore band. Christian! Never fucking "death metal." Sure, their first cd was much harder, but thats all. People like you frustrate me.

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 14, 2004 at 10:53 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    Underoath was great when they were essentially a death metal band. then, they were quite good when they used synths in metalcore. now they flat out suck.

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 14, 2004 at 9:36 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    yeah they're so gay you gave them an 8

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 14, 2004 at 7:25 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    score is for the word "nu"

    Posted by Anonymous on Saturday, August 14, 2004 at 2:59 AM (EDT)
    My Score:

    underoath is kinda gay

    Posted by stevejonestherealbones on 2004-08-13 22:31:45
    My Score:

    no

    too bad about your diahrea, but it did prevent you from seeing alot of shitty bands, so maybe it was a blessing

    - jones the bones

    - stevejones8770@yahoo.com

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 13, 2004 at 9:31 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    I'll be the first to leave the usual "Cries of the Past shitz on this empty shell of a formely good band" post........because it is true.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 13, 2004 at 8:05 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    i saw the bled open for the hope conspiracy and they were abysmal. how far can this fake hardcore bullshit go?

    Posted by mykindofmurder on 2004-08-13 20:02:23
    My Score:

    underoath is the shizzle.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 13, 2004 at 7:24 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    score is for underoath. this band fucking slays.

    steve jones the bones, die.

    Posted by colin on 2004-08-13 19:14:13
    My Score:

    "pass the flask" was one of my favorite albums last year. great music. underoath i don't really like.

    sucks about the squirts.

    Posted by Anonymous on Friday, August 13, 2004 at 6:42 PM (EDT)
    My Score:

    No, these bands suck.

    -BSD

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