Good Life Records is cool. If it was a girl, I'd let it tie me to the bed and have its way with me. But since it's not, I just have to settle listening to the nice records they provide me with. They brought Undying and Skinless to the world before anyone else, and because of that I have decided to donate my body to them after I die. Well, just those two bands alone didn't make me want to donate my beautiful, luscious body, but after I heard Trapped In Life's latest disc, 12 Icons, I decided that they ruled too much to be without my carcass.

Now, Trapped In Life aren't anything like Skinless. Skinless is scary scary death metal satan stuff, and Trapped In Life is what the cool kids today call "metalcore." It's filled with double-bass kicking spasms and a guy who sounds like he's throwing up his vocal cords, but in a way where you'd probably want to be his friend. When he's not screaming stuff you can't understand, he's talking really loud like the guy from Throwdown. It's safe to say that he's cool and his band must be cool too for following him around. He even sounds like the dude from Entombed when he's trying to be demonic and scary, which isn't often enough really. "Gimme Some" is a good song because it probably will make you want to beat people in the face with soddering irons. And isn't that what metal and hardcore is all about? Violence?! Yes.

Trapped In Life probably want to be friends with Chimaira and tour with them and share bitches and stuff because after awhile it becomes hard to tell them apart. Maybe they're long lost brothers separated at birth because their mother was a whore? Who knows. All I know is that "The Joyful Dead" makes me think of taking disabled children and rolling them into traffic. It makes me tingle just thinking about it. Bwaaaaaahahaha.

So if you want an excuse to do bad things to children who don't deserve it, listen to this CD and blame it on them. It's easy since the album is filled with subliminal messages like "Eat babies" and "Rob the Korean grocers next door." This album isn't that essential though, since there are a lot of albums that make me want to rob the 7/11 next to my house, but it's another album in the long line of albums that are reserved for those happy moments that need to be erased as quickly as possible!